Is it possible to be a MTF but never fully transition, but could, as a choice?

[ChrissyRyan]

Nancy,


It sounds as if you have a plan!

I do think that estrogen helps one look a little younger.  But that may not last.  It is likely all in your genes more than anything. 


Chrissy

[D'Amalie]

"I never transitioned", in today's terminology and I will stand by that statement. 

Hmmm. I didn't transition.  I just present as I am, gently easing into what makes me comfortable.  Some days more successful passing than others, not dependent on passing or being able to say loud and proud, "I've transistioned!  Look at me!"  The transition is the acceptance and acclimation internally, mentally.  I'm not militant or "in your face."  I deplore conflict and find as long as I'm not flaunting my femininity, I get along swimmingly. Living my life as I feel, wearing what I wish and just plainly not being paranoid is refreshing.  I get second looks in church, but am never called out like I don't belong there.  Family talks to me.  My volunteer activities continue and I am appreciated for my contributions.

[Courtney G]

As people who follow my posts here know, I'm almost completely closeted after 4 years of HRT. I have to hide my breasts, but I pass fine as a male. Trans friends say that I could pass as a woman but I have trouble believing them. I live with a fear of hurt and conflict that makes it hard for me to imagine a public transition.

If I'm honest, this would be different if I "male-failed" more, if people mistook me for a woman even in men's clothes. My breasts are large enough to leave zero doubt that my body isn't conventionally male, but I ofter feel sad because I don't have the fresh, soft features of a 20something trans woman.

I'm scheduled for facial feminization surgery in a little over 2 months from now (first of two rounds) and I'm desperately hoping that I'm able to see myself differently.

^ That last comment should be pretty telling because I'm admitting that how I see myself feels like the problem. I think that is a problem for many. Learning to see yourself as the person you feel yourself to be seems like the first step to a happy and successful transition.

[Lori Dee ✅]

I'm scheduled for facial feminization surgery in a little over 2 months from now (first of two rounds) and I'm desperately hoping that I'm able to see myself differently.

^ That last comment should be pretty telling because I'm admitting that how I see myself feels like the problem. I think that is a problem for many. Learning to see yourself as the person you feel yourself to be seems like the first step to a happy and successful transition.

You nailed it, Courtney.

Once we accept ourselves for who we are, life gets so much easier. The problem is in how we see ourselves. All humans do this; we want to lose weight, change our hairstyle or color, build muscles, or grow a moustache. For most people, it is seen as a way to improve their appearance based on what they see. For us, it is the same, except that we see a male looking at us in the mirror, and we find that intolerable, so the changes to our appearance take more dramatic steps. There is nothing wrong with that; it just is harder for us to accept who we are.

Even though I don't like what I see, I am content with who I am on the inside.