Charlotte's scratch post

[Northern Star Girl ✅]

@Stottie Girl
Dear Sarah:
Yes indeed, your very last sentence is perfectly stated: 

  "I guess I like to think I am female with added benefits!"

HUGS, Danielle

@Northern Star Girl

Yeah Danielle, You get up to some real outdoors adventures up there. Definitely doesn't make you any less feminine.

When I get in my new house eventually, I'm going to be fitting a new kitchen and bathroom, building my new fitted wardrobes and installing a new fire place for starters. Not exactly female pastimes but that's where a prior male life can have it's benefits. The female flair comes in the design choices.

I guess I like to think I am female with added benefits!

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

I cant say that my hobbies (the few I have) are particularly gendered. Music stuff and being a furry. I guess I like engineering which has typically been seen as masculine, but that's not really the case. Not particularly into makeup myself apart from on occasions, at least in part as it irritates my eyes and skin a lot and is impossible in the warmer months. I do like fashion (a lot and always have) and having nice hair. Biggest thing though is I just generally love chatting with women so much more and are comfortable. I'm not so comfortable chatting with men unless about musical stuff or engineering. Bring in sports then my geekiness shows - not interested!!

Today on some social media a guy tells me that the only thing missing on my photo is him in it, with a crying emoji. Guess that's a chatup LOL

[Stottie Girl]

If you are getting eye irritation are you using moisturiser? It took me a while to realise that moisturisers or any make up that contains SPF's can migrate to your eyes after a while and they can reallly sting and cause a burning sensation. You need to apply an eye gel around your eye first to act as a barrier then don't go right into the eyesocket area when you are rubbing it in.

If you are using tinted moisturiser or maybe your BB cream what ever residue of product you have left on your fingers, use that to blend the edges to the eye socket. Hope that makes sense. It totally worked for me as a solution anyway.

If your eyes are burning you can use a cotton bud and wipe along the lash line top and bottom to relieve it as that is where the product is gathering.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Its when I use eyeshadow it makes my eyes water for hours sometimes. And all the wrinkles get worse and dry. Then when I use micellar water to remove it stings and goes all red. I literally got one chance to apply ad there is no removing and reapply without bad irritation. Then I end up with acne in other areas after.

I get red skin on my face from just sweating in the summer.

I use just moisturiser or bb cream and have no issues. My eye skin is thin and really wrinkly unfortunately.

[Stottie Girl]

Yeah but the moisturiser pain doesn't happen straight away. It's not instant, the moisturiser gradually migrates to your eye from quite a way away due to the oils in your skin. I thought I was getting a reaction to the eyeshadow but it turned out to be the moisturiser. It is a common thing. If you haven't already just try the moisturiser/bb cream on its own and apply as you would normally. No eye make up and see if your eye still stings. Pick up an eye gel and see if it makes a difference?

If it is the shadow then you might benefit from getting higher end shadow as it is more creamy and doesn't fling about like the cheaper stuff. Plus your brush type matters too. You want a flat shader to get it on in the first place then a fluffy blender to spread it about. I don't know, I'm just learning but it might help you maybe.

[Courtney G]

I tend to be a bit oblique in my communication, sort of hiding the sarcasm and intention behind a statement that can be read as completely serious. In this case:

I want to be able to do male-coded things without feeling out of place
I want to be able to do female-coded things without feeling out of place

Putting those side-by-side was intentional and a bit sarcastic because I really don't believe that things are "coded"; I think society has constructed the idea that certain things are right for "girls" and other things are for "boys" and so on. It's kind of a bunch of bullpucky, really. And I'll add that we trans people always pay the cost of admission. We long for painted nails and fine things because we've not been allowed access to them. But I think the whole idea of that is something that was constructed to put/keep women in a certain space in society. Men insisted that women be soft and weak and malleable and we expect men to be strong and stoic and stubborn. And we often end up satisfying those stereotypes because they're in our DNA. So, as a trans woman, if I don't perform to the satisfaction of those stereotypes, I'm at risk of all sorts of consequences.

Crazy. Girls should be able to do what ever they enjoy doing, wear what they want, and so on.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Once it cools down later in the year I'll try some different makeup to see what happens. I use moisturiser everyday and thats fine as no issues really. Ive not worn makeup for over a week now.

I've done my nails but theyre a bit messy. Not too bothered, they are pink. Dont need to be tidy. I honestly wont ever be an immaculately turned out woman. I'm more a can't be bothered type of woman apart from my clothes. Being immaculate means effort and then being on edge all day worrying about sweating, smudging, irritation etc. I actually end up feeling more stressed and self conscious wearing it than not. If I'm natural its just me. My skin can be ok. A bit of toner and moisturiser is what I have in 99% of my selfies. I like the look wearing makep sometimes but absolutely hate putting it on!

Thats why I'm often so sensitive about the rest of my body. I want to maximise feminity elsewhere so i can just appear feminine without makeup, immaculate hair and such. I'm already on a huge backfoot before my body lets me down.

[Stottie Girl]

Bullpucky? That's my word for the day 🤣🤣

I am not doing it because I felt I was denied it, I am doing it because I enjoy the freedom of expression. Makeup, beauty and fashion is an art form to me and you are the canvas. I enjoy the beauty side of things like I enjoy cooking and baking or woodwork and photography. Do I need to do makeup to be a woman? No, but I like it and I don't think there is anything wrong with trying to look pretty. It boosts my self esteem, it makes me walk tall with a big smile on my face. I do want men to find me attractive so I do what other women do, it is normal and it is enjoyable (to me at least).

But just because I am embracing femininity does not mean I'm going to stop doing the things I love doing.

Having said that, I am really falling out of love with sport now. It's just not exciting me like it used to, I find that a little weird. Honestly HRT has really changed me not just physically but mentally too. I am not the same person that started this journey. Who is to say what my hobbies and interests will be in the furture as I fully transition. What I do know is there is no such thing as male only and female only hobbies or pastimes (or jobs)

[Courtney G]

Bullpucky? That's my word for the day 🤣🤣

Thought you brits might enjoy that one. It's a classic. A progressive journalist I follow uses it, as it's a PG version of the word it's replacing.

I didn't mean to imply that we can't or shouldn't like nice, feminine things, only that someone like Charlotte (or me) should still be able to do the things we enjoy without our gender being defined by them.

[Stottie Girl]

Once it cools down later in the year I'll try some different makeup to see what happens. I use moisturiser everyday and thats fine as no issues really. Ive not worn makeup for over a week now.

I've done my nails but theyre a bit messy. Not too bothered, they are pink. Dont need to be tidy. I honestly wont ever be an immaculately turned out woman. I'm more a can't be bothered type of woman apart from my clothes. Being immaculate means effort and then being on edge all day worrying about sweating, smudging, irritation etc. I actually end up feeling more stressed and self conscious wearing it than not. If I'm natural its just me. My skin can be ok. A bit of toner and moisturiser is what I have in 99% of my selfies. I like the look wearing makep sometimes but absolutely hate putting it on!

Thats why I'm often so sensitive about the rest of my body. I want to maximise feminity elsewhere so i can just appear feminine without makeup, immaculate hair and such. I'm already on a huge backfoot before my body lets me down.

To be honest all you really need is eyeliner, mascara and tinted lip balm. Nothing else. That's the truth of it. If you don't like make up those three things can be applied in less than 10 mins and you're out the door. the only thing you need to touch up is the lip balm. It's not that big an effort really. That's all I'm wearing in this pic. I haven't even had a shave🤣

[Stottie Girl]

Thought you brits might enjoy that one. It's a classic. A progressive journalist I follow uses it, as it's a PG version of the word it's replacing.

I didn't mean to imply that we can't or shouldn't like nice, feminine things, only that someone like Charlotte (or me) should still be able to do the things we enjoy without our gender being defined by them.

100% agree with you. You do what makes you happy Courtney. To hell with stereotypes.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Honestly I never have had much interest in typically masculine stuff and even less so now. And honestly anything mainstream I'm not that big into either. I'm happy to geek out with fursuits, furry art, plushies, musical subcultures and all that stuff. Add I dont feel older either. Most days I feel like a teenager, the others i feel even younger, like silly younger. I honestly don't fit in with what the world has got me doing and expects me to do. I think thats partly why I'm so unstable. My life is just a task i don't really want to do and what everyone sees is just a big act as im expected to 'adult'. I really just want to be crazy and silly.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

To be honest all you really need is eyeliner, mascara and tinted lip balm. Nothing else. That's the truth of it. If you don't like make up those three things can be applied in less than 10 mins and you're out the door. the only thing you need to touch up is the lip balm. It's not that big an effort really. That's all I'm wearing in this pic. I haven't even had a shave🤣

You look very pretty there.  I tried tinted lip balm and it was gone after an hour so would need to apply like 10 times a day! I did try eyeliner but its hard because i cant see clearly out of one eye...its totally blurred so going in blind when doing my good eye. Mascara works nicely apart from eyelashes being only about 3mm long!! They need extending

[Stottie Girl]

Thanks Charlotte, I forgot to add brow pencil in the mix too.

Liner is the tricky one for you but it's the one that makes the biggest difference. Can you get a corrective contact lens for the bad eye? You might laugh but can you teach your partner to do it for you?

I have shortish straight or downward point lashes. Once I'm out in the real world I'm going to get a lash lift and tint straight away.Then I can chuck the mascara for good. And get my brows done too.

Tinted lip balm, blot the first coat then layer it two more times. Works for me but you'll have to reapply after food or drink. It's dead easy to do though, don't even need a mirror.