I do talk to my therapist about it. It'll take time to work through it though, as spent a lifetime hating myself most of the time. That isn't going to shift easily. I feel mostly OK and not hurt myself today. As above I'm learning to love my face and progress there. I'm pretty happy really, just a few minor things to work on. A lot of my mood issues are based around anticipation rather than reality. If I hated something about myself, but knew it was impossible to sort then I'd quickly become ok with that. Equally if I'm happy with something that's good. But having something I'm unhappy with and not knowing if it'll be OK one day, not fully understanding how important to me it is, the waiting and anticipation. That causes my number one enemy - anxiety. As a result I really don't do well with uncertainty and maybe's - these feelings burn my energy quicker than anything. Its never been different. I remember as a teen at high school laying awake worrying every single night about various things. I've never shaken those kind of feelings into adulthood.
Anyways as a positive I'm finally getting improvement on periodontitis I've been fighting with the dentist for a couple of years now. Hopefully as such I can keep my teeth at least. Also she said I looked really good the moment she saw me and that whatever I had done has an amazing result. She last saw me before surgery.
Charlotte X
