Hello Cynthia,
I'm really glad you're here.
What you shared will resonate with a lot of people reading it, even if they don't say so right away. Living for decades with that awareness, making deliberate choices to protect your marriage, your children, and your career, and then arriving at a point in life where you finally ask, "What do I need?" — that's not confusion or indecision. That's a lifetime of responsibility followed by honesty.
It also matters that you're approaching this with care rather than expectations. Therapy doesn't have to lead anywhere specific to be worthwhile. Sometimes its value is simply having a space where you don't have to justify your existence or rush toward a conclusion. After forty-one years of marriage and a full working life, it makes sense that you'd want to move thoughtfully and on your own terms.
You're not late. You haven't failed anyone. And you're not taking anything away from your past by giving yourself room now. Many people here have walked similar paths — choosing stability when they needed to, and later realizing that tending to themselves wasn't selfish, it was necessary.
I'm glad you found your way here, and I hope you'll continue to share as you feel comfortable. You belong here, and you don't have to have all — or even any — of the answers yet.
Hugs,
— Susan 💜
