Hi Seraphine/Circe, and welcome to Susan's Place!
That's quite an introduction — your music taste is fantastic (sludge metal and hardcore take dedication), and it sounds like you've built a real life for yourself with your bands, guitar playing, martial arts, and that nine-year worldbuilding project. Also: alternate tunings and hardcore shows? You've definitely got a vibe. And your girlfriend sounds pretty great — I'm really glad you have her.
I also want to say: I'm truly sorry for what you've been through, and I'm genuinely glad you're still here.
It takes strength to keep going after carrying the kind of history you've had, especially while also dealing with bullying and a family that isn't giving you the support you deserve. You didn't do anything wrong by being who you are.
This community is here for you. You'll find other youth members in Youth Talks who understand what you're navigating, and you're always welcome to share what you're comfortable sharing.
One thing that can help when things feel overwhelming right now: instead of staying focused only on what you're going through in this moment, try looking ahead and planning for the awesome future that's waiting for you. You've already got so much going—your music, your creativity, your girlfriend, your projects. Two years might feel like forever, but it's not. You're building toward something, and the person you're becoming is worth fighting for.
One of our longtime members, Miharu Barbie, shared something years ago that I want to pass along to you.
Quote from: Miharu Barbie on January 04, 2017, 05:28:07 PMI feel overwhelmed with gratitude for life today. When I was much younger than I am today, I never expected to live this long. Indeed, prior to transition 19 years ago I believed at that time that I had already lived too long and seen too much and I was prepared to snuff out this life by my own hand.
I am so grateful that I made the choice to stick around and transition. I have seen and experienced so much amazing stuff over the years! I know now that those darkest days of my younger years were little more than speed bumps on the road to this happy, fulfilled life that I'm living today. It would have been such a bummer to miss all this adventure!
I am grateful to all the people who open up and share their fears and sorrows, their joys and triumphs on this forum. You all enrich my life with your openness.
I am especially grateful to Susan and her army of moderators for creating this safe space and for keeping it safe all day every day. You all rule!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Love! Miharu
She's right. The future you're building is worth sticking around for.
And just as a quick safety note: if you ever feel unsafe with yourself again, please reach out right away to someone you trust in real life or emergency services. If you're in the U.S., you can call or text 988 anytime.
We are so glad you found your way here.
With love and support!
— Susan 💜
