The nerves

[Jillian-TG]

The end of this month I have a solo cruise coming up and it's going to be the first time in decades that I will have the opportunity to present as a woman 24/7

For those who don't know me the brief background and context is as follows:
- married for 30 years with 4 kids (all adults now)
- wife knows about my female side and she bounces between mild acceptance to tolerance and occasionally asking me to change.
- we are happily married despite my gender identity struggles
- I'm in the closet
- wife is travelling overseas to visit family and we agreed the timing is perfect for me to take a short solo cruise so I can be a woman 24/7

I have been out in public presenting  as a woman before but it has always been for brief periods of time and I chose to go out later at night on cruises when it was quieter. I have never been out and about 24/7. I am scared.

I desperately want to experience and see how it feels to live for a few days as a woman fulltime but I am soooo scared.
I'm a mix of exited and scared. I'm also afraid that I will chicken out at the last minute and go as a man.

[Lori Dee ✅]

I desperately want to experience and see how it feels to live for a few days as a woman fulltime but I am soooo scared.
I'm a mix of exited and scared. I'm also afraid that I will chicken out at the last minute and go as a man.

Jillian,

That is perfectly normal. Humans resist change, even if we know it will be better for us. But, also consider that if you are that terrified that you chicken out, it only means ONE thing: You weren't ready yet. Nothing more than that.

This isn't some bravery contest. There is no "right" timeline. You go only as fast as you are ready. There is no shame in that, and no one here will judge you for it. We have been there too!

You have been on many cruises, so you have a feel for how people behave on them. You have been out as a woman, even though it was just an evening. How did others react? How did you feel? Did anything bad happen? My understanding is that you had a great time. So why not extend that beyond one evening and make it full-time?

Again, I am not pressuring you. If you are not ready, then that settles it. I just want you to look carefully to see if the fear is about a real threat or an imagined one.

Good luck.