Hi there!

[Scrambles]

Hi there!

My name is Scrambles (online name lol) and I am 16 years old.

I am trans FTM and I have been questioning my gender since I was about 10 years old. I spent my tween years trying to use they/them, but it never really felt right. I started doing drag king makeup just for fun, but it was then when I realized that I'm not non-binary — I'm actually transgender. I've been using she/her and he/him on and off for the past 3 years now, but now I think I can confidently say that I am a boy.

It's been really hard for me recently since I've been trying to socially transition at school. My boyfriend is thankfully queer so he is very accepting, but it's definitely harder for my friends and family who have known me as a girl my whole life.

I do not pass at all and I have not changed my name yet. Some people bash me saying things like "how are you trans, you don't even try to pass," but I know deep down it doesn't even matter. The way I look doesn't decide my own identity, but sometimes it definitely can hurt to be told that I'm not valid for not physically transitioning yet.

I am still ever so thankful for my theatre teacher and my boyfriend for being my biggest supporters.

One day I would like to come out to my mom too. Even though I know my mom fully supports the LGBTQ community — she even supported me when I first started using they/them, and is even pansexual herself — it is still very hard for me to think about telling her I am trans.

I hope to find resources to help me find my confidence and courage again! I want to be my happiest self.

[Scrambles]

I hope its okay that I copy and pasted this from the main introductions!

[Pema]

Hi, Scrambles! Welcome, and thank you so much for joining us and sharing that great introduction.

It sounds like you've spent enough time exploring your gender identity that you're clear and confident about who you are - even when others challenge you. I think that's wonderful. It's great, too, that you know that other people's opinions of who and what and how you should be aren't what is most important. And they won't agree with each other, so it's not like it's even possible to please them all.

I'm elated that you decided to join us. I hope you'll stick with us and tell us more whenever you feel like it. You are welcome here exactly as you are.

Love,
Pema

[Rochelle]

Welcome to the Forum.  You will get a proper greeting shortly from the moderators.  We're happy you're here.

[Dances With Trees]

A pleasure to meet you, Scrambles! And thanks for the lovely and heartfelt introduction.

[Lori Dee ✅]

Hello Scrambles,

I'm Lori Dee. Welcome to Susan's Place!

Thank you for that wonderful introduction. Since you already copied your introduction here, I will remove the other one. You did the right thing by posting it here.

We strive to make this a safe space for you to find information and share your thoughts and comments. No matter who you are, you are always welcome at Susan's Place.

It sounds like you have done a lot of exploring of your identity and have come to some realizations on your own. That is wonderful. As you said, many people cannot understand what we go through because they do not experience what we experience. Very often, those who have known us the longest have an idea of who they think we are. They have a difficult time letting that go.

I'm glad that you are not willing to change your view of yourself to suit others. That is important for your own mental health. As you read through the stories of others here, you will find we all have that issue. Feel free to browse the forums and add your experiences too. We all learn from each other.

When you click on the HOME button, you will see a page listing all of the various sub-forums by category and topic. Each sub-forum includes a description of what it's about and any posting guidelines.

Please keep in mind when posting that this is an ALL-AGES  PUBLIC   Forum and the internet never forgets. Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.

I will add links below that are important for new and returning members.
Pay special attention to the links in RED.

If you have any questions about the Susan's Place site and the Forums, please feel free to contact me at LoriDee605@outlook.com.

Once again, welcome to Susan's Place!

~ Lori Dee
Forum Staff

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@Scrambles
@Sarah B
@Charlotte Kitty
@Northern Star Girl

[Susan ✅]

Welcome to Susan's Place, Scrambles!

I added paragraph breaks to your introduction to make it a little less imposing to read.

First of all, I want you to know that you are valid. Full stop. You don't owe anyone a certain look or a certain timeline to prove who you are. Being trans isn't about passing — it's about knowing who you are inside, and you clearly do. The people telling you otherwise are wrong, plain and simple.

It sounds like you've done a lot of really hard work to get to where you are. Questioning since you were 10, trying out different pronouns, finding what fits and what doesn't — that's not confusion, that's a journey. And you should be proud of yourself for having the courage to say "I am a boy" out loud, even when the world around you is making that difficult.

About your mom — I hear you. Even when we know someone is likely to be supportive, coming out is still scary. But from what you've described, she sounds like someone who loves you and has already shown she's willing to walk this road with you. When you're ready, I think you might be surprised at how okay it's going to be. There's no rush though. You'll know when the time is right.

I'm really glad you have your boyfriend and your theatre teacher in your corner. Having even just a couple of people who truly see you makes all the difference.

You came here looking for resources and confidence, and you've come to the right place. Look around, read some stories from other guys who've been where you are, and don't be afraid to ask questions. You're not alone here.

Welcome home, kiddo!
— Susan💜

[Stottie Girl]

Hi Scrambles! Love the name! Welcome to the group

I recently told my mother I was trans and it was one of the best moments of my life! I waited 50 years to do it, I hope you get the same result but don't have to wait that long ha ha!

Sarah

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Hey Scrambles,

I'm Charlotte😻 and I too am pleased to welcome you to Susan's Place!

Firstly I love your online name. It sounds very cute and upbeat! Thank you for your post in which we get a really beautiful insight into your journey, through to where you are now.

Being trans is not defined by anyone else's views or requirements. It's totally about how you feel in yourself, with your own personal definition. I'm so glad that you have remained confident in this despite what others might say.

It's a journey which takes time and entirely at your own pace. I look forward to seeing your progress and thoughts as, when and if you wish to share.

We'll all be here when you're ready to tell your mum. But again it's in your own time as you feel comfortable.

Kind regards,
Charlotte😻
(Forum Staff)

[Sarah B ✅]

Hi Scrambles

My name is Sarah and I would also like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!

I see that other members of Susan's have also welcomed you as well.

It takes a lot of courage to write something as honest and open as you did.  The way you explained your situation shows a lot of clarity about who you are and what you need in life.  That kind of self awareness is something many people spend years trying to find, so please give yourself credit for that.

It also takes real bravery to keep moving forward when the people around you are not giving the support you hoped for.  From what you wrote it sounds like you are standing up for yourself even when it is difficult and that says a lot about your strength.

Many of us recognise what you are describing.  The feeling of wanting to be accepted simply for who you are is very real.  And the truth is that;  "you are who you are".  Other people may take time to understand that, but it does not change the reality of who you are inside.

It is really good to hear that you are thinking about what will make your life better and healthier.  Having even a small amount of support can make a big difference and spaces like this exist so that no one has to go through things completely alone.

When it comes to family, sometimes things can surprise you.  I never actually told my own family.  They eventually found out and when they did they simply accepted me for who I am.  It turned out that the silence I carried for years was not worth it in the long run.  However, I still do not tell anyone about my past.

From what you wrote about your mum, it sounds like she may care about you even if you are not ready to tell her yet.  When the time comes and you decide to share this part of yourself with her, there is a good chance she will accept you too.

For now just take things one step at a time.  You have already shown a lot of courage and honesty.  That is something to be proud of.  And you are definitely not alone here.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the other forums and threads.  I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members.

In addition members of Susan's will more than likely discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these issues as well.

Please keep in mind when posting that this is an ALL AGES PUBLIC Forum and the internet never forgets.  Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.

Take care and all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Devlyn  @Jessica_Rose  @Mariah  @Northern Star Girl  @Lori Dee @Charlotte Kitty
@Scrambles