Shopping for Your First Clothes

[PhilippaRees]

I was just sitting here with my thoughts about how I bought my first clothes and decided I ought to share them in case they are helpful.
As reported elsewhere it appears that I rather ran at this at full speed but it was a bit more subtle than that.
When I suddenly got the urge to buy a dress I found myself at Walmart within 24 hours. I went later in the evening so it would be as quiet as it could be. I my head I wanted as few people about to clock me looking as possible rather than try and hide in a crowd. I also knew I was definitely going to use the changing rooms and I didn't want to be caught in a line.
I wandered round the department about 10 times trying to get a feel for what was where, American shops really are chaotic, as I still didn't want to be seen browsing even though no one else was there.
Eventually my eye caught a couple of plus size dresses that I liked the look of and some leggings. So I guessed the size I needed grabbed the 2 dresses and some leggings and headed for the changing room. As it happened the leggings were perfect but the dresses were one size to small. So I swapped for the larger size and tried again.
The dress I thought I liked didn't really look right but the other one felt really comfortable on so that was the one I went with.
So with a pair of leggings and a dress I paid at the self service and that was it I had my first female clothes.
I wore both out over then next 2 days and then started doubting myself about whether they suited me or not.
A day day later of found myself in Lane Bryant here is where the psychology kicks in a bit. I was very concerned that I might be seen as a threat to the regular customers so again I went when it was quite. When the assistant
said hello I didn't hesitate I said "I am looking for a dress and need advice, its for me".
She didn't miss a beat and asked "whats the occasion?" I replied "Its for everyday wear".
From that moment on it was a complete blur. She wrote my name on a card and reserved a fitting room. Then we went round the store discussing options and with an armful of dresses I went to the fitting room.
I was happy to walk out to the big mirror and get her advice on every one. We discussed fit, and whether I was comfortable with the look, And all the things I wasn't sure of because I'm not used to them. In particular the low neck line was very scary. She fixed this by finding a cami with lace trim, not that I knew it was called that. It filled the gap just a tiny bit and to my amazement I loved the look.
My next worry was getting cold when I'm out, so we discussed cardigans. The ones on the rail were a bit too plain she said and disappeared out back. She came back with a black one with no buttons and very long at the front. I wasn't entirely convinced but it has become one of my favorite things so she really does have a good eye.
I was there for over 2 hours and I left with a dress, a cami and a cardigan. It was the most amazing experience I've ever had. The ladies in that shop were just wonderful, I never felt more respected or valued in my entire life than I did that day.
And back to the psychology, other customers came and went but I didn't even notice them because I had the protection of the ladies in the shop.
There is more to this story but that is probably enough for now.

[ChrissyRyan]

It sounds as if your ladies clothing store experience was a very good one.  Perhaps you will be returning to the same store and the same salespeople to have another good experience. 

For a while you may be in an accumulation mode, meaning you will be spending more than typical in that time period because you will be establishing your base wardrobe.  After that, you get what catches your eye, new things to replace the old, and maybe somethings you have seen in a magazine or what others wear.  Size changes impact your purchases too, as does the changing seasons and needs for special events and such.

Undergarments, gowns, robes, jackets, shoes, shorts, jeans, hats, purses, the list goes on.  Enjoy your new clothes!


Chrissy

[PhilippaRees]

Hats, I hadn't even thought of that.

[ChrissyRyan]

I do enjoy wearing these clothes I should have been able to just have on everyday of my life. It is a part of each day now going forward and I am happy to do so.  My clothes are much prettier now.  There is so much variety available. 

If you ever shop where you do not have as helpful sales staff, try to shop with one or two women.  They can be a big help to you.  What you think looks good they may advise you to consider something better!  Ask them to be open and honest as can be with their comments.  A local transgender group may have volunteeers willing to shop with you. 


Chrissy

[Lori Dee ✅]

Thanks for sharing, Philippa.

Your experience shows what many members have learned: that our fears are greater than reality. Most people shop in their own bubble and do not pay attention to other shoppers. As an example, think about the last time you went grocery shopping. Can you remember one other shopper there? Usually not because we were in our own bubble too.

Hopefully, your experience will help others who are thinking about going shopping for their first clothes.

[Dawn Kellie]

It should always be this easy.just remember you're the customer.  If they are anything but nice take your money elsewhere.

[ChrissyRyan]

It should always be this easy.just remember you're the customer.  If they are anything but nice take your money elsewhere.

That is what I would do also.

[ChrissyRyan]

Shopping online is another way to go but you are likely to have to returns clothes.

Sizing is all over the map.  Material may turn out to be too thin, short or cap sleeves may have too big arm holes, the cut is not comfortable, etc.

Have fun shopping!

[Dawn Kellie]

I've been shoes shopping on line.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

I shop 90% online as don't feel too comfortable going into stores particularly if they are busy. Get occasional things if I see them but don't have too many issues with size. Most stuff size 16 uk fits me fine.

Charlotte 😻

[PhilippaRees]

Now I have a bit of time again I can answer some of you properly

It sounds as if your ladies clothing store experience was a very good one.  Perhaps you will be returning to the same store and the same salespeople to have another good experience.

I did go back again twice, but I'm back in the UK now so it will be difficult to go again. But I still hope to do so.

If you ever shop where you do not have as helpful sales staff, try to shop with one or two women.  They can be a big help to you.  What you think looks good they may advise you to consider something better!  Ask them to be open and honest as can be with their comments.  A local transgender group may have volunteeers willing to shop with you.

I haven't come out to enough women yet but I have a feeling they will be very helpful when I do.

Hopefully, your experience will help others who are thinking about going shopping for their first clothes.

I really hope so, it was a big reason for posting. But also I just wanted to share my story.

It should always be this easy.just remember you're the customer.  If they are anything but nice take your money elsewhere.

Its a good point and very easy to forget when you are nervous

I shop 90% online as don't feel too comfortable going into stores particularly if they are busy. Get occasional things if I see them but don't have too many issues with size. Most stuff size 16 uk fits me fine.

I hope my experience gives you a bit of confidence, it was not as bad as my original fear made it out to be.

I was in Tesco at the weekend and saw a very calm man looking through the bra section. No one appeared to notice him. Well no one except me.

[Stottie Girl]

It sounds like you had a very enjoyable time. I think most store assistants will be friendly to you as they want the sales, it's other shoppers where you could possibly get an adverse reaction.

Personally I hate all shops full stop. I avoid them like the plague! It's the noise and the crowds that get me, freaks me out. I did go into a couple of womanswear shops in my twenty's but I felt like every pair of eyes was staring at me though they probably weren't. I grabbed a couple of items I thought might fit (they didn't) paid at the counter and ran away! I'm such a chicken! I didn't feel comfortable at all. I think it would be different if I went dressed. Frankly though I have no desire to go.

Before the internet I did catalogue shopping (remember those!) but since the internet it is so easy to get, try on and return that I don't see the risk. You can order quite a few items in different sizes, pick which one or ones you like and return the rest, no quibble returns are great.

Shoes are where my philosophy falls down. I have bought so many pairs of shoes that don't fit. I hate having size 10's (UK)

[PhilippaRees]

Part 2
A day or so later it dawned on me what a hugely important thing the shop had done for me, well in my eyes anyway, so I went back to thank them for their kindness. I got there slightly later so the morning assistant that helped me before was not there. I had met the afternoon assistant before so she knew what I was talking about when I thanked her and her colleague and agreed to pass on the message.
While I was there she asked if I would like to try on something else, its almost fatal going back because of course the answer is yes.
We looked at a few things and then she suggested a jump suit. I had half looked this one before but wasn't sure. I thought 'well it can't hurt to just try it' so I did.
When I looked in the mirror I thought 'actually I quite like that', then the surprise. As I stepped out of the fitting room I heard across the shop 'OH That's Cute". It was another customer and she was genuinely saying she liked it.
I wore it round the the shop for another 10 or so minutes to get the feel of it.
20 minutes later I walked out with my new jump suit and 8 pairs of panties which I needed anyway.

I couldn't wait to go out in it. At the restaurant later where I wore it, the waiter called me Ma'am. it was the first time I've ever been called that. I was so grateful to him.

[Lori Dee ✅]

Such a wonderful experience, Philippa!

Thank you for sharing.

[PhilippaRees]

It sounds like you had a very enjoyable time. I think most store assistants will be friendly to you as they want the sales, it's other shoppers where you could possibly get an adverse reaction.

I was very worried about other shoppers so I went at the quietest time I could, the shop was virtually empty. The confidence of the assistants had a big effect on my confidence which then seemed to act like some kind of force field against other shoppers.

[Northern Star Girl ✅]

      @PhilippaRees
Dear Phillappa:

@ChrissyRyan is very correct.... have one or two supportive and accepting
women friends with you when you shop  for women's clothing. ....
    ....  safety in numbers !
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]

I do enjoy wearing these clothes I should have been able to just have on everyday of my life. It is a part of each day now going forward and I am happy to do so.  My clothes are much prettier now.  There is so much variety available. 

If you ever shop where you do not have as helpful sales staff, try to shop with one or two women.  They can be a big help to you.  What you think looks good they may advise you to consider something better!  Ask them to be open and honest as can be with their comments.  A local transgender group may have volunteeers willing to shop with you. 


Chrissy

[PhilippaRees]

Actually I forgot to add that I always wanted a jump suit so it was inevitable that I would end up with one. Its another one of those clues that I completely missed.

[ChrissyRyan]

I kind of like the look of some of the bib jumpers/jumpsuits (or overalls too).  They may be a bit inconvenient when going to the restroom though.  Are they?  I have not shopped for these, some may have zippers I suppose or easy ways to open up.

If they were that bib style but like a dress, not as a big of deal for sure.


These bib jumpers are not to be confused with jumpers which are sweaters!

[PhilippaRees]

I kind of like the look of some of the bib jumpers/jumpsuits (or overalls too).  They may be a bit inconvenient when going to the restroom though.  Are they?  I have not shopped for these, some may have zippers I suppose or easy ways to open up.

Yes they are a bit inconvenient. It was quite a novel experience sitting practically naked in a public restroom for the first time. Nothing, however, could dull my excitement at owning one.

I'm not sure what you mean by bib style. This one is elasticated and you have to step into it from the very top.

I'll try and post a picture of it when I get picture hosting set up

[ChrissyRyan]

Yes they are a bit inconvenient. It was quite a novel experience sitting practically naked in a public restroom for the first time. Nothing, however, could dull my excitement at owning one.

I'm not sure what you mean by bib style. This one is elasticated and you have to step into it from the very top.

I'll try and post a picture of it when I get picture hosting set up

Bib style, picture bib overalls.  The two shoulder straps button or fasten in front above the breast line.