The world according to Sarah

[Valerie.Val]

@KathyLauren oh dear, very sorry to hear your wife got hurt. I hope she'll be okay!

[Stottie Girl]

Oh my thank you 🥹🥹🥹

I mean it Val. You are a breath of fresh air, full of positivity and I get your humour!

[Stottie Girl]

Right, coursework assignment finished, kitchen door eased and back on it's hinges. Garage door mechanism greased and lawn strimmed. I'm officially pooped!

Going to chill out tonight. Not sure if I'll be able to stay awake for the england football match tonight. Will see though. I'm just not loving this world cup for some reason, I'm finding it hard to engage with the national team. I think it is the extremely irritating England "Band". It's about time someone took his toy trumpet off him, he can't play for toffee anyway! I remember England in the 80's and 90's, we had decent songs and chants and the fans weren't all loutish. Nowadays if I see a load of England fans I tend to turn around and walk the opposite direction or speak german or something so I don't get associated!

[Devlyn ✅]

Right, coursework assignment finished, kitchen door eased and back on it's hinges. Garage door mechanism greased and lawn strimmed. I'm officially pooped!

Going to chill out tonight. Not sure if I'll be able to stay awake for the england football match tonight. Will see though. I'm just not loving this world cup for some reason, I'm finding it hard to engage with the national team. I think it is the extremely irritating England "Band". It's about time someone took his toy trumpet off him, he can't play for toffee anyway! I remember England in the 80's and 90's, we had decent songs and chants and the fans weren't all loutish. Nowadays if I see a load of England fans I tend to turn around and walk the opposite direction or speak german or something so I don't get associated!

Sure, if you say so....🤣🤣🤣

Hooliganism in the modern game of football in England dates back to its establishment in the 19th century. Individuals referred to as roughs were known to cause trouble at football matches in the 1880s, for example when they attacked the visiting team in a match between Aston Villa and Preston North End in 1885.

 Local derby matches would usually have the worst trouble in an era when fans did not often travel to other towns and cities, and roughs sometimes attacked the referees and visiting team's players. Incidences of fan violence have been reported from the late 19th and the early 20th century in England and Scotland.

In 1909, thousands of Rangers and Celtic fans rioted at the replay of the Scottish Cup Final at Hampden Park. Crowd troubles also extended to areas outside of the ground, into the town as well as trains and railway stations. For example, Leicester City fans vandalised a train in 1934, and several trains were damaged in 1955 and 1956 by Liverpool and Everton fans.

John Moynihan in The Soccer Syndrome describes a stroll around the touchline of an empty Goodison Park (Everton's home stadium) on a summer's day in the 1960s. "Walking behind the infamous goal, where they built a barrier to stop objects crunching into visiting goalkeepers, there was a strange feeling of hostility remaining as if the regulars had never left."

The News of the World's Bob Pennington spoke of the "lunatic fringe of support that fastens onto them (Everton), seeking identification in a multi-national port where roots are hard to establish." The same newspaper later described Everton supporters as the "roughest, rowdiest rabble who watches British soccer."

Incidences of disorderly behaviour by fans gradually increased before they reached a peak in the 1970s and 1980s. Between 1946 and 1960, there were an average of 13 incidents reported per season, but between 1961 and 1968, the number had increased to 25 per season. Hooliganism in the modern age has been attributed by some sociologists to the decline of the British Empire

[big kim]

Blackpool v Preston was my local derby that got a bit lively. Still a bit quiet compared to West Ham v Millwall!

[Stottie Girl]

Yeah, I'm not referring to hooliganism. I remember that well enough, I'm old enough to remember the Heysel disaster and the terracing pens that lead to the Hilsborough disaster.

I'm talking about the England culture. The hooliganism was mainly focussed on club rivalrys not the national team.

The england national team culture seems to be now focussed on the lairy, loud mouthed, drunk and disorderley rabble you get congregating at fan zones and pubs. Singing about vindaloo! Maybe I'm just getting too old!

[Devlyn ✅]

Fair enough. The closest we come to hooliganism is the legendary 2007 Fenway Park Pizza Throw. 🤣

[Stottie Girl]

It has now been two weeks since I packed Sarah's belongings into a sealed box for the house move. I am living full time in boy mode and it is killing me. My dysphoria has gone into overdrive. I'm starting to doubt I was ever making any progress, I'm feeling incredibly depressed. I probably have another month of living like this ahead of me. I think I'm going to go insane! If it wasn't for being able to be myself on here I genuinely think I would be getting sectioned!

I did not think it would be this tough but I have changed since the start of the year, my egg has not just cracked it's smashed onto the floor.

Sorry for the somewhat depressing post I'm just feeling very down. Still the sun is shining, another red hot breaking day doing back breaking manual labour at the new house!

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Any time away from being Sarah as her true full self is going to be hard so not surprised you're feeling like this. Of course you've made huge amounts of progress though and as soon as its time you can literally jump straight back into being Sarah in her true glorious self. With this its just getting through these weeks, each of which will end and take you closer to getting your clothes back.

Hope you can find some little ways to remind yourself of your progress and feel a little better.

Sending  love and hugs 😻

[Valerie.Val]

Dear Sarah, I can so understand you. Please take your Sarah box to your new home and put in a bit of Sarah time there as often as possible. It's important. 💜
If there is anything good we can get out of the dysphoria, it is that it reminds us, albeit painfully, who  we truly are. You are Sarah always.

[Stottie Girl]

Any time away from being Sarah as her true full self is going to be hard so not surprised you're feeling like this. Of course you've made huge amounts of progress though and as soon as its time you can literally jump straight back into being Sarah in her true glorious self. With this its just getting through these weeks, each of which will end and take you closer to getting your clothes back.

Hope you can find some little ways to remind yourself of your progress and feel a little better.

Sending  love and hugs 😻

Thanks Charlotte, It's more than just clothes, it's like I'm going backwards. But you are right it's just a matter of weeks. The dysphoria is raging at the moment though.

[Stottie Girl]

Dear Sarah, I can so understand you. Please take your Sarah box to your new home and put in a bit of Sarah time there as often as possible. It's important. 💜
If there is anything good we can get out of the dysphoria, it is that it reminds us, albeit painfully, who  we truly are. You are Sarah always.

Thanks Val, it means a lot!

Box? I have nearly 20 boxes! I have loads of clothes as I've been dressing for so long! I have 3 full wardrobes sitting there in ever shrinking sizes just waiting for me to slim down into them! I'm going to be building a huge full length fitted wardrobe in my new bedroom to house it all.

[Lori Dee ✅]

Box? I have nearly 20 boxes! I have loads of clothes as I've been dressing for so long! I have 3 full wardrobes sitting there in ever shrinking sizes just waiting for me to slim down into them! I'm going to be building a huge full length fitted wardrobe in my new bedroom to house it all.

See? Only Sarah would do that. So even while you are working, you are still Sarah. You still think like her, and inside, you still feel like her. Just hold on to that. Remember that appearances are not who we are. The frustration is your freedom to express who you are.

So, as suggested, have some Me Time while you are working. You'll get through this. Hang in there.

Hugs!

[Stottie Girl]

See? Only Sarah would do that. So even while you are working, you are still Sarah. You still think like her, and inside, you still feel like her. Just hold on to that. Remember that appearances are not who we are. The frustration is your freedom to express who you are.

So, as suggested, have some Me Time while you are working. You'll get through this. Hang in there.

Hugs!

Thanks Lori. I know deep down you are right, I AM Sarah and always have been. This is just a temporary pause. I think I would go nuts if I did not have susans where I can be myself. I still am suffering the Dysphoria though. It is way stronger right now than it ever was before coming on here and coming out of my shell. I love my parents dearly but I need to get into the new place as soon as possible. I just hope that when I slim down my wardrobe isn't terribly out of fashion! I have some lovely dresses, pretty good quality stuff from brands like Lipsy & River Island.

[davina61]

Okay I need to lose 40lb, lets see who can get there first.