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Joke of the day

Started by Dawn Kellie, April 11, 2026, 03:24:20 PM

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Dawn Kellie

I will attempt to do a bad joke as frequently as I can.
Everyone else is invited to do some as well
D. KELLIE Kn.

If you can't laugh at your own mistakes, the Universe will. Why be left out of the joke?

Dawn Kellie

Did you hear about the two phones that got married??
The reception was amazing.
D. KELLIE Kn.

If you can't laugh at your own mistakes, the Universe will. Why be left out of the joke?

Stottie Girl

Quote from: Dawn Kellie on April 11, 2026, 03:25:01 PMDid you hear about the two phones that got married??
The reception was amazing.

That's like the jokes we get in our christmas crackers ha ha!

An oldie longwinded one:-

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich.

The landlord looks at him and says, "But you're a duck".

"I see your eyes are working", replies the duck.

"And you talk!" exclaims the landlord.

The landlord serves him and he drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves.

This continues for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the landlord says to him, "You're with the circus aren't you?, I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus, he talks, drinks beer and everything!"

"Sounds marvellous", says the ringleader, "get him to give me a call".

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the landlord says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money!".

"Yeah?", says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?".

"At the circus", says the landlord.

"The circus?", the duck enquires.

"That's right", replies the landlord.

The duck looks confused, "What the hell would they want with a plasterer?"

Jokes aren't my forte lol! I'll get me coat.....
A wise man once said don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes, that way when you judge him you're a mile away and you have his shoes!

Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cozy, doesn't try it on - Billy Connolley
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