Estradiol doesn't produce just breasts, so even a low dose will bring other changes. Before anyone noticed my breast growth, most of my friends were asking what I was on as my face was looking much younger. They may also notice you are more emotional, you are feeling cold more, and are more passive. Libido is another effect which may be noticed.
Our hormones also play a role in regulating many of our organs, and changing our regime can have unwanted symptoms. Starting and stopping estradiol could mess you up, and you will lose some breast size after stopping. After approximately 90 days on estradiol, our haemoglobin levels fall to cis female levels, which reduces the amount of oxygen available to muscles. This can lead to reduced endurance, and feeling tired earlier. Many trans people report weight gain, and the researchers found that this is due to feeling colder, so we eat more. On estradiol, our hands and feet can be up to 3 degreesF colder than before.
So, you should see it's way more complex than just growing some breast tissue. It sounds as if you are needing relief from mounting dysphoria, and from experience, I can say that anything affirming can work, very much including wearing breast forms as mentioned by Lori!
Anything which can change your body may have unwanted health effects, and can mess up future HRT. You should talk this over with a doctor who knows your medical history and family history, so you can work together to find the best solutions. I feel for you, I also had to endure years of debilitating dysphoria so my loved ones wouldn't have to deal with my condition, and it eventually destroyed my health. Dysphoria is a chronic stress which can have serious negative health consequences, so if you can't find a non medical solution, you may have to consider (with your doctor) a level of medical transition to keep you safe. I wish you better success with this than I had, as chronic stress from dysphoria was identified as the primary element in my heart attack and cardiac arrests.
Hugs,
Allie
