Quote from: Courtney G on Yesterday at 06:05:12 PMFor me, this is the thought I return to when I feel like an imposter. An imposter wouldn't want to go ahead with it, wouldn't *really* want to be a woman. This simple test (would I push the button?) tells me that my brain is hung up on the fact that I don't think I pass, which causes lots of fear and doubts. I confuse these feelings with feelings of being inauthentic, an imposter.
I believe that many trans women struggle with this.
Me, too. Under a microscope, I see myself doubting myself. I doubt my body is telling me anything real when it relaxes under women's clothing and makeup. I think about how I sensed no gender dysphoria until I was close to age 60. I spend time with people I associate with my past and my male self, and for a bit I conclude that I could let all this female gender nonsense go. Then get and get dressed in the same women's clothes I've aligned for a year or more.
Then I look at my timeline and journals and I clearly see the emergence of a woman.
I wonder if I am multiple personality or borderline personality or some other thing that is presenting as wanting to be female. I look them up (often more than once) and none are even close.
I'll pick up my first estradiol patch tomorrow. I'll start it AT THE LATEST in a month. It's in my calendar. I'll experience four couples therapy sessions.
Please God ease my troubled mind!
