I grew up in a very conservative and homophobic environment. In the military, I was often accused, and even assaulted, because some thought I was gay, even though there was no evidence of it (I am asexual). Living under those conditions, I was only exposed to the LGBTQ Community through the conservative media, which did not paint a nice image of us. And at times, I have had to agree with commenters who would point to screaming activists in drag and ask how anyone can take them seriously when they act and look like that?
When I was first diagnosed as transgender, I rejected it. No way! Not me! And I sought other professional opinions. I finally ended up talking to a VA psychologist who took the time to explain to me what being trans really means. I spent two years in therapy figuring out what that meant and if it applied to my life.
When I finally accepted that this is who I am, our VA LGBTQ Care Coordinator invited me to the local TransVeterans Support Group. I was terrified. But I met five wonderful women, and I quickly realized that they were going through the same issues I was. Some of us became friends outside the Group, but it was more about veteran bonding than trans bonding. But Ilearned I was not alone.
I began admitting to friends and strangers that I was transgender. The world did not explode as I expected it to. When South Dakota became unbearably anti-LGBTQ, I moved here to Colorado. I arrived just in time for the local Pueblo Pride event and parade. There were close to 1,000 people (LGBTQ and allies) there, and everyone was having a good time. No anti protestors, no police. Even the Republican Party had a booth there (though most people stayed away). It was a lot of music, dancing, and shopping.
I think we become members of this community when we accept that this is who we are. Most of us are not activists screaming at the news cameras. We are just normal people living our lives as best we can.
My dental hygienist in SD (cis-woman, and married) said she enjoys going to gay bars. I asked if it was so she doesn't get hit on by the guys. She said absolutely not! She said the LGBTQ community is the happiest people on Earth. Who wouldn't want to party with them?
I am Proud to be a part of this community. I am no activist, but I wear my Pride flags and pins everywhere I go. I refuse to allow the bigotry of others to influence my happiness. Those days are over.