So how sure where you

[Petunia]

I'm sure there are a lot of girls and guys who have read my posts.

I'd love to know what it was that made you decided to try hrt and/or transition.

In my last psych visit I said I really don't have an overwhelming need to be a woman.

At the same time I really don't feel like a cis man and I'd prefer to never touch male clothes again

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

In a way I kind of just decided I wanted to go on HRT and gain a more feminine body and look. I considered myself non binary and was thinking of being more androgynous. However through the process I was getting huge gender euphoria and a feeling something was very right about me being a woman.

It was very sudden in a way, but in another not as I'd already being dressing in women's clothes day to day as a man and living as a women in my furry activities. It all just kinda  merged and I decided fully transitioning was what I wanted.

Forward to now I still feel I want to be a woman and many things keep reinforcing this decision is right. I still think I'm alternative gender e.g. agender. My struggle is matching my vision to reality and settling into my new identity. This will probably take time, but I really feel good as a woman to the most part.

[Maid Marion]

For me the risks outweigh the benefits, especially with issues in insuring a constant source of HRT medications in the future. 
I have the voice, walk, and mannerisms that made me "male fail" all the time when I had a full beard and wore poorly fitting boy's clothes.  Last time I asked where the rest room was they directed me to the ladies room at Walmart.

I am very fortunate to have an hourglass figure that allows me to wear model sample sizes.
I'm short, so today's skin baring styles allow me to wear those very same clothes in a more appropriate manner for my age!  Though it might be better if I weren't so short, at 5ft 2inches.  My weight topped out last winter at 110 lbs when I was learning to make baked goods.  My A1C was a little high so I've cut back on the carbs.

Marion

[Jessica_Rose ✅]

This is an excerpt from my 'coming out' story:

In December 2016 I found a transgender site where members shared their stories. Story after story I thought "I could have written that". It hit suddenly. I saw the truth. In seconds I went from thinking I was just a cross-dresser with severe anger issues to knowing I was transgender. I now had a choice, a choice between growing angrier and more miserable every year, or finding peace by letting the person I have always been come out of the darkness. My decision could cost me everyone I love -- my wife, my daughters, my family, my friends. In tears, I chose to begin a new journey.

I won't say it was an easy choice, or an easy journey, but it was the right decision.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[Stottie Girl]

Since my earliest memories I knew I was supposed to be a girl. I have never had any doubt on that front.

There wasn't much information available when I was growing up pre internet. Even when I did discover in my late teens that changing genders was a possibility, the examples I saw were quite obviously a man in a dress so I figured if I couldn't make a reasonable stab at passing I would try to live with it as I was. But of course as I got older and older it got harder and harder to ignore.

I always dressed en femme, not for the thrill but because of how it made me feel, the relief of it I guess.

Later on when I realised FFS was becoming a thing we could actually get, I came to the conclusion that it might be possible to have a complete transition. I tried HRT off and on in my late 30's and got a small amount of breast growth and it felt amazing but I wasn't ready to take it further. Then in my mid 40's I knew I wanted to change my body as much as I possibly could and I've been taking HRT ever since.

At no point have I ever doubted who or what I was. I just wish I had more courage and could have made the leap years ago.

>EDIT< I should have added that there is absolutely nothing wrong with not passing or not caring about passing. I just felt that for me personally it was a deal breaker.

[CosmicJoke]

I'm sure there are a lot of girls and guys who have read my posts.

I'd love to know what it was that made you decided to try hrt and/or transition.

In my last psych visit I said I really don't have an overwhelming need to be a woman.

At the same time I really don't feel like a cis man and I'd prefer to never touch male clothes again

Everyone is different but for me I think the main tipping point was just the anger really. I couldn't stand the expectation of me to be male to such a degree that I decided to change it.

To be honest I think you're better off not taking hormones or transitioning if you don't feel a strong desire or need to. I have discovered hormones can come with problems such as clotting for example. Transitioning often has a powerful effect on your other relationships around you as well. Sometimes you even lose support.

I think if you feel there's a "middle way" you can take you might be better off.

[Lori Dee ✅]

At first, I was not certain at all. I have never crossdressed or thought of myself as a woman. But I was a miserable person. Three failed marriages and many failed relationships told me that the problem was not with everyone else; something was wrong with me.

I had completed certification as a hypnotherapist and had a private practice. A schoolmate in London and I stayed in tough via Zoom and we would bounce ideas off each other. When I mentioned that I always felt different from everyone else and could not recall a time when I was truly happy, he suggested I start seeing a therapist in face to face meetings.

In 2017, I started seeing a LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker) and after a few visits, she said she felt that she could not help me and referred me to a psychologist. After meeting with him, he told me he thought I might be transgender. I rejected that outright. Not me! No way.

In 2019, I injured my back and had surgery on my elbow and could not afford all the physical therapy and the psychologist, so I went to the VA to see if they could help with the costs. I was told the rules had changed and that as a disabled veteran all of my medical care was covered, including mental health. So I started seeing a psychologist at the VA. He told me he thought I was transgender. We argued about that, and it turned out that I just didn't understand what that meant.

He suggested that I start HRT and see how it makes me feel. I tried it and I felt great. My mood changed. My general view of life seemed more optimistic. I took this as "evidence" that this was the right path for me. I have stayed in therapy ever since and understand what is going on with me and why nothing seemed to work out in the past.

I decided that, if this is who I am, then so be it. I will embrace it and get on with my life. I have been the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. For me, there is no going back.

[KathyLauren]

I felt my ability to play the role of male fading away.  The need to always question if I was playing the part correctly.  The image I had in my head was of an actor on stage in a play, never having read the script or been to a rehearsal.  I didn't feel like I knew what I was doing.  Pretending to be male was hard work, and as the actor image solidified in my mind, I began to realize just how fake the role was for me.  I have always liked colourful clothes, and the social requirement to wear drab shapeless clothes bugged me.  It was all so pointless.

Eventually, I realized that this was all going to come to the surface some day.  And then, I encountered a real-life trans person, not doing anything "trans-y", just being themself in public, and it was no big deal.  I thought, "Wow, that could be me!"  I looked online, found Susan's Place, did the research, and here I am.

[Devlyn ✅]

I'm sure there are a lot of girls and guys who have read my posts.

I'd love to know what it was that made you decided to try hrt and/or transition.

In my last psych visit I said I really don't have an overwhelming need to be a woman.

At the same time I really don't feel like a cis man and I'd prefer to never touch male clothes again

I was enjoying the crossdressing, just relaxing after work in women's clothes. I decided that at 53 years old, single, never married, no kids, that I wouldn't be hurting anybody if I decided to femme up the body a bit.

I will say that after I committed to the decision I walked away from this and all the other transgender sites and pages for a month, to see if I still felt the same way. I didn't want to do anything if it was just me being pulled along by the current.

My feelings persisted and I started taking supplements. They get bad press, but certainly helped me out, the photo below was taken after 3 years worth, the day before I went to the doctor's for prescription HRT.

Hugs, Devlyn

[Athena]

For me I was in such denial and I ignored huge red flags. It was so bad it was like if I kept bumping into a wall because I refused to believe that there was actually a wall. At the time I was into forced feminization and forced gender swaps yet I refused to believe that I was trans. Then I saw this video of a tans woman from western Canada named Jessica Tiffany and her story sounded familiar, so much so that I was finally able to see the truth.

When I first started to decide to start taking hrt I was in a very dark place and I was so in the closet that my closet had closets, I wouldn't even say I was trans aloud even in my own apartment in case a neighbour heard. I made a decision that I am not proud of I started off DIY and if my mood deteriorated I was ready to stop immediately, but my mood didn't drop. After 2+ years of only seeing darkness within hours of taking my first estrogen I was finally able to see light.

One of my packages was seized by customs which scared me off of ordering online. Before I ran out of hormones though my apartment burned down. Even though I had to rebuild my life the fire freed me somewhat and allowed me the confidence to go legit. The first month without hormones I was too busy trying to find a place to live but after that, the second month on was bad and I mean really bad. I booked an appointment with my doctor but I was going to have to wait over a month. I chose to go to the hospital emergency room and the first time I allowed myself to say aloud that I was trans just happened to be International Womens day which was not planned by the way.

I didn't have help from the hospital and when I saw my doctor she needed to get guidance from an endocrinologist which took months. I saw my doctor many times those months and I was often bawling in her office begging for anything to stop the pain. Talking with her did actually give me a few days of relief but those days waiting in general were awful, I honestly don't know how I survived those days. Once when I was able to see my endo it still took a month for me to get my prescription but once I did the relief was immense . It might not have been to the level of when I was diy but it allowed me the freedom to live. This is when I truly knew without a doubt that I was trans.

For my surgery I think I idealized it a lot, the month or two before the surgery it just became something that I had to do like a haircut. I was worried because an election was coming up at the time and it looked like the Conservatives had a good shot at getting in and they have gone very right wing so I was terrified that I was not only going to have my surgery taken away but also my hormones. Waiting in the clinic for my surgery I started to have doubts about the surgery until I was walking towards the operating room and my testicles stuck to my leg then I knew it was the right choice. After everything was said and done even though mentally I might not have been the best candidate for surgery I have NEVER regretted it. When I reach down and don't feel my penis I am ever so grateful.

Do I have annoyances... yes. Are they worth it....ABSOLUTELY.

[ChrissyRyan]

It took me a long while to start MTF HRT by using pharmaceuticals managed by my physicians.  Prior to that I tried phytoestrogens for about five years, noticing some changes.  Eventually I wanted more and permanent physical changes to my body. 

The medical MTF HRT has given me many changes I have wanted, including breasts, a rounder, fuller, softer looking face, softer skin overall, less body hair, and some peace of mind.
A little rounding in the thighs but not wide hips, which I doubt will ever come.

I have no receding hairline, perhaps because of the Finasteride, not the estradiol.
I wish that I started the medical MTF HRT earlier, like when I was in college.

I am very happy I have developed B cups and can look passable (at least initially without close examination).  By passable I mean if someone around saw me while I was walking they would likely not likely think at first glance that I was a man in a skirt or dress! Not male fail, unfortunately. 
Maybe one day.

What I want so much is a sweet female voice. 

Chrissy