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Anna, finally but not yet final.

Started by Finally Anna, June 22, 2026, 07:05:35 AM

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Petunia

#260
August 17, 2026, 07:49:19 PM
Anna, I have been dressing similar to what you have described.
Girl jeans, or leggings in casual, femme sneakers or obvious womens akle boots and either womens tees or mens neat button up shirts.

Jewelry is earrings, thin braclet and necklace.

I have only had positive comments on the womens items I've been wearing.

I'm trying to find a nice style women's shirt or blouse that doesn't scream out. The two that I have are OBVIOUSLY women's items are would be crossing the line if I wore them out with my wife.

I did wear one out once with white jeans and open toed sandles when getting my brows done and my beautician liked what I chose and said it was very age approapriate.

What you have said about comments from other women, I am guessing they are suspecting you are changing.  I get that same idea from our female friends.

Growing your hair longer like I am too is another clue
And then one day you stop to find,
10 years have got behind you,
no one told you when to run,
you missed the starting gun

KristaFairchild

#261
August 17, 2026, 09:34:33 PM
Quote from: Finally Anna on August 17, 2026, 09:29:33 AMGym session today. The first in almost two weeks since summer contains a lot of other activities. A bit of an allround workout with bike, glutemax, rdl, glutemedius and some core. Might be a bit stiff tomorrow - the RDL has that effect when waiting too long between sessions.
I try to do 3-4 sessions per week during Oct-May, but June-Sep tends to be once per 7-10 days.

I find different activities make me feel differently about my gender. While I realize I'm always Krista, my body has its own memory. Do you feel that when you work out? 

Finally Anna

#262
August 17, 2026, 11:52:43 PM
Quote from: KristaFairchild on August 17, 2026, 09:34:33 PMI find different activities make me feel differently about my gender.
Yes, I also have that feeling.
I am always fully Anna when I work out. Feeling and dressing Anna, more female-typical excercises, motivation by Anna, ...
All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players.
To thine own self be true.
Out to self since March 5, 2026. My wife knows it all since June 23.
Integration ongoing. I'll cross the transition bridge when I get to it.

Finally Anna

#263
Yesterday at 12:08:09 AM
Quote from: Petunia on August 17, 2026, 07:49:19 PMWhat you have said about comments from other women, I am guessing they are suspecting you are changing.  I get that same idea from our female friends.
Petunia, that is a good thing!
I hope they are suspecting that I am changing into more femme, even that they suspect that I am transfemme.

The reason is simple: They see changes and may wonder what is going on. If they then get a positive vibe from my softer and more caring behaviour, then that behaviour and their positive vibe is their view of the new me, if/when they later realize that I am in fact transfemme. The behaviour, not the word "trans", becomes their reference
Their reaction is then much more likely to be "Oh, transfemme, then we understand the changed appearance and we like her a lot" than "Trans, that is weird".
All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players.
To thine own self be true.
Out to self since March 5, 2026. My wife knows it all since June 23.
Integration ongoing. I'll cross the transition bridge when I get to it.

Finally Anna

#264
Yesterday at 04:37:49 AM
Today is a day of testing.

My wife is out of town until tomorrow so I am testing various presentations to find out for myself what I really think and feel with respect to clothing.
A very light makeup with brows styled/coloured, mascara and just a very subtle very light blush (my skin tone) on top of the beard shadow for simplicity, light pink lipstick. Subtle.
Femme perfume.
Hair more femme without really styling it.
Glossy pink nail polish.
A couple of rings, a bracelet.

What is absolutely obvious is that I need a bust to even remotely resemble a woman, bodily. Without bust there are just these wide shoulders and the blouses fit/hang badly. With a padded bra and medium sized bust things look so much better. So, for an actually femme presentation with a skirt I will need a bustline.

Almost as obvious is that face and hair are not female enough. Ok, my hair can be styled androgynously but it lacks a few cm if I want a more female hairstyle. Face is male. Not square and angular male but still male. Can probably be decently fixed with makeup and if getting rid of the beard shadow (laser, makeup).

So, how did the various outfits work then?

Female style
Beige linen blouse and black maxi skirt, with high wedges: Nice. Below the neck this could possibly-probably pass as a woman even though I don't have any hips.

Androgynous or Femme that is leaning andro:
Leggings, same blouse, canvas sneakers: Nice.
Denims, same blouse, canvas sneakers: Nice.
Stretch trousers, lavender shirt-blouse that is androgynous, canvas sneakers: Nice, but this is without any bust since that shirt is too small for a bust.

I dont have any flats that can be used instead of the sneakers.

If there is a bottom line then it is that:
I feel about as good when presenting femme leaning androgynously as I do when I present all femme. It is also that my perception of myself has changed a lot since a few months back. A few months ago I couldn't look at myself in purely female clothing, without a lot of aversion. Now it is quite ok, given that the clothes fit well.
All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players.
To thine own self be true.
Out to self since March 5, 2026. My wife knows it all since June 23.
Integration ongoing. I'll cross the transition bridge when I get to it.

Maid Marion

#265
Yesterday at 04:50:25 AM
Black skirts minimize volume.  A white or light colored skirts will help balance your top by adding volume.  Pleating skirts will also add volume.

I have thick thighs.  I'll choose skirts that hide my thighs while showing the thinner part of my legs below the skirt.  That is about four inches above the knee.  I suggest experimenting with different skirt lengths to see what is most flattering.

I have a lot of skirts.

Marion

Finally Anna

#266
Yesterday at 04:50:13 PM
Quote from: Finally Anna on Yesterday at 04:37:49 AMIf there is a bottom line then it is that:
I feel about as good when presenting femme leaning androgynously as I do when I present all femme. It is also that my perception of myself has changed a lot since a few months back. A few months ago I couldn't look at myself in purely female clothing, without a lot of aversion. Now it is quite ok, given that the clothes fit well.
And I've been in black leggings and a soft v-neck blouse w short sleeves (not one of those I tested earlier) for most of the day. Comfy and gives a nice feeling. Femme, but leaning andro.
I actually did a double take, and then some, when I saw myself in the full length mirror. With leggings and that blouse my hair reads much more androgynously than it does with a male shirt. Suddenly, there was a femme leaning androgynous person in the mirror. Looking more closely I am obviously male, but my quick first impression was "Yay! I am not that guy anymore!". That is the first time I get that feeling.
Could be because the lights weren't on 😉, but still a nice feeling. ☺️
All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players.
To thine own self be true.
Out to self since March 5, 2026. My wife knows it all since June 23.
Integration ongoing. I'll cross the transition bridge when I get to it.

KristaFairchild

#267
Yesterday at 11:37:02 PM
Quote from: Finally Anna on Yesterday at 04:50:13 PMAnd I've been in black leggings and a soft v-neck blouse w short sleeves (not one of those I tested earlier) for most of the day. Comfy and gives a nice feeling. Femme, but leaning andro.
I actually did a double take, and then some, when I saw myself in the full length mirror. With leggings and that blouse my hair reads much more androgynously than it does with a male shirt. Suddenly, there was a femme leaning androgynous person in the mirror. Looking more closely I am obviously male, but my quick first impression was "Yay! I am not that guy anymore!". That is the first time I get that feeling.
Could be because the lights weren't on 😉, but still a nice feeling. ☺️
OMG, yes, Anna! 

One morning as the sun rose I stepped in front of the mirror in dim light, wearing my nightie. I took a glance and saw a woman glancing back at me! I had a no makeup or wig or anything else except that nightie. I'll never forget it. 

The difference between us is that I immediately wanted MORE. More femme. More of the ways of presenting that I had been both craving and burying. 
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Stottie Girl

#268
Today at 01:48:10 AM
It's an epic feeling when you catch yourself in the mirror. One that just keeps getting more and more intense as your transition goes on. There will be days when the dysphoria kicks in and you can't see past the maleness but hang on to those precious moments where you were unequivably female in that moment.

I'm getting to the point now where I'm looking in the mirror and I'm starting to thing I look more like an early transition transman in male mode. It might just be the loger hair but whatever it is I can see my femininity peaking through even my male mode now. It's very exciting.
A wise man once said don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes, that way when you judge him you're a mile away and you have his shoes!

Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cozy, doesn't try it on - Billy Connolley
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Petunia

#269
Today at 05:46:38 AM
I had it this afternoon

It was windy outside and went to the bathroom to do my minoxy for hair loss.

My hair is thin and fly away, but blown back with sparkling earrings (I still can't get over the second piercings I got) I didn't look at the ugly face in the middle.

I saw the girl in the mirror.

Wow. A long way from showering in the dark a bit over 12 months ago
And then one day you stop to find,
10 years have got behind you,
no one told you when to run,
you missed the starting gun

Finally Anna

#270
Today at 05:49:45 AM
Quote from: Petunia on Today at 05:46:38 AMI had it this afternoon
...
I saw the girl in the mirror.
Yes! That feeling! That glimpse of hope!
I am smiling when I read your post and sense that feeling.
☺️
All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players.
To thine own self be true.
Out to self since March 5, 2026. My wife knows it all since June 23.
Integration ongoing. I'll cross the transition bridge when I get to it.
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    The following users thanked this post: Petunia

Finally Anna

#271
Today at 05:51:59 AM
Quote from: Stottie Girl on Today at 01:48:10 AMIt's an epic feeling when you catch yourself in the mirror. One that just keeps getting more and more intense as your transition goes on. There will be days when the dysphoria kicks in and you can't see past the maleness but hang on to those precious moments where you were unequivably female in that moment.
Thanks, Sarah!
I will try to keep that feeling in my internal drawer, so that I can open that drawer and feel a bit of that feeling in those dark moments that inevitably lurk around the corner.
💕
All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players.
To thine own self be true.
Out to self since March 5, 2026. My wife knows it all since June 23.
Integration ongoing. I'll cross the transition bridge when I get to it.
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    The following users thanked this post: Petunia

Finally Anna

#272
Today at 06:26:34 AM
Online therapy session just finished.

No "big issue" to handle so it became a kind of discussion where I can be totally open about things, with someone who both has experience and is not personally involved.
We talked a bit about how I have at times wondered if I am NB because I do not yet have this urge to come out to the world visually and socially, and neither am I so far very focused on pronouns and name. I can boymode without any big issue - it's not what I want/like but I can do it when "needed". My male name works fine in the world that knows me by that name. Anna would also be fine but noone but me, my therapist and you here at Susan's know about the name Anna. My wife does not, yet. But no, I am not NB. I am transfemme, I know it and I have proof points that I can rely on if I ever wonder about NB again (I will not).
We also talked a bit about how the important thing for me so far is how I perceive myself in my own mind. As an introverted person I feed mainly on internal thinking, not on external interaction.

My mind is both freewheeling and structured at the same time and it does not have an off switch. This is how it has always been, for as long as I can remember. Always doing some kind of thinking, speculation, hypothesis proofing, learning, reflecting or just finding that "Hmmm, that is interesting. I better look into it a bit more".

Come to think about it, I wonder if Anna is at least a little bit more extroverted than was my male persona before coming out? Interesting thought and with a bit of afterthought probably true. I truly have enjoyed the interaction I've had with women at various gatherings discussing various things that would have been of no interest earlier on.

Well, whatever...
All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players.
To thine own self be true.
Out to self since March 5, 2026. My wife knows it all since June 23.
Integration ongoing. I'll cross the transition bridge when I get to it.
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Maid Marion

#273
Today at 07:01:44 AM
I now gender female so strongly voice, appearance, and mannerisms that folks think I'm female despite my male name!  Before it was just my voice.  Now a I can be on the golf course for hours with a couple guys and I gender female.  No makeup or nail polish as I don't have time for that with an early tee time.

Marion
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Finally Anna

#274
Today at 07:10:32 AM
Sounds very nice, Marion!
All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players.
To thine own self be true.
Out to self since March 5, 2026. My wife knows it all since June 23.
Integration ongoing. I'll cross the transition bridge when I get to it.
  •  

Maid Marion

#275
Today at 07:18:35 AM
Androgyny sounds nice but it is a very tough place to be, socially, as confusion interferes with social interaction.  I know as I was there for decades before transitioning!
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