Anna, finally but not yet final.

[Finally Anna]

Curiosity about things sometimes (quite often, really) trigger me to find information. This time it is about how many LGBTQ persons the average person in western societies actually knows.

General Population Breakdown (source: Google)

Large-scale international demographic studies, such as those conducted by Ipsos and Gallup News, consistently show similar trends across Western nations like the United States, Canada, Western Europe, and Australia:
• Gay/Lesbian (Homosexual): 3% – 4%
• Bisexual: 4% – 5.3% (Bisexual individuals typically make up the largest segment of the LGBTQ+ community)
• Total LGBTQ+ Identification: 7% – 11% (This overall figure has risen as younger generations are much more likely to open up about their identity).

Assuming 3.5% are LG then.
If a person knows 50 other persons, the odds are around 85% that at least one of these 50 is LG.
If you know 75 persons: 93% chance that at least one is LG.
Statistically there was one LG person in your school class.

[Finally Anna]

For T persons (source: Google):

In Western societies, an estimated 0.5% to 1.5% of the adult population explicitly identifies as transgender

Regional Statistics Breakdown
• United States: Large-scale data from sources like the Williams Institute at UCLA and the U.S. Census Bureau's Household Pulse Survey place the transgender adult population at roughly 0.6% to 1.0% (about 2.1 to 2.3 million adults). Independent analysis by the Human Rights Campaign estimates it could be as high as 1.3% to 2.3%.
• Europe: Estimates range similarly depending on the country. Research tracked by the World Population Review indicates that Germany and Sweden report some of the highest figures at around 3%, while Spain and Great Britain report roughly 2%. Countries like Italy and France report closer to 1%.

My remark: The figures are of course a bit rough, but it is safe to say that at least 1% of the population is trans, and maybe closer to 1.5%.


Demographic Breakdown
When looking at the internal breakdown of the trans community, the population is split relatively evenly among different gender identities:
• Transgender Women: ~33% to 38%
• Transgender Men: ~34% to 36%
• Non-binary / Gender Non-conforming: ~25% to 33%

The Generational Shift
Similar to homosexual identification, age is the biggest variable in transgender demographics. Younger generations are far more likely to openly identify as transgender than older generations due to broader visibility and declining social taboos:
• Among Gen Z and youth (ages 13–24), the percentage identifying as transgender is significantly higher, ranging from 1.4% to 2.7%.
• Among older adults (ages 65 and up), that number drops significantly to roughly 0.2% to 0.3%.


If we then try to picture what this means.
In a small town like the one where I live: Almost a thousand T or NB. This is jawdropping.
In a really large city, like NY or similar: About 100k T or NB.
If you know 50 persons, the chance is more than 50% that at least one of them is T or NB.

Of course, not all peoples' group of friends are statistically coherent, but as a rule of thumb the figures work well.

Bottom line: Almost all people is western societies know someone who is T or NB, but it is of course not certain that those T/NB persons are "out" to everyone.

[Devlyn ✅]

Those numbers are likely skewed low because of the definition they use, which largely leans towards transsexuals. The inclusive numbers I see are more in the 6-8% range.

[Finally Anna]

The inclusive numbers I see are more in the 6-8% range.

Care to detail a bit, Dev? Which figure is 6-8%? All persons that aren't 100% cis, or what?

[Devlyn ✅]

As I said, a lot of studies lean towards transsexuals rather than including the entire transgender community. Using the site's definitions vastly expands those numbers.

Transgender: An inclusive umbrella term for anyone whose sex was incorrectly assigned at birth — for any reason, to any degree, for any length of time.

This includes but is not limited to trans women, trans men, intersex, non-binary, genderqueer and genderfluid, agender, crossdressers, drag kings and queens, and people whose cultures have traditional recognition of genders beyond the binary (such as Two-Spirit, Hijra, Fa'afafine, Māhū, and others).

In short: anyone experiencing, exploring, or expressing gender beyond conventional cisgender roles.

This term describes a broad range of lived experiences and does not imply any specific appearance, behavior, medical history, or transition path.

Around 5% of adult men crossdress. 3-5% of gen z identify as transgender or non-binary.

From Google:

Standard Demographic Surveys: Traditional census data and LGBTQ+ demographic studies, like those from the Williams Institute or the Office for National Statistics, generally exclude crossdressers. These surveys explicitly measure gender identity (living as a gender different from birth sex) rather than gender expression (clothing choices).

Generational Differences: Younger people are significantly more likely to identify as transgender or non-binary. Studies show that roughly 3% to 5% of young adults and teenagers (Gen Z) identify as trans or non-binary, compared to less than 0.5% of older adults.


Combined Estimate ~2% – 6% total. Broad spectrum of all gender-nonconforming identities and behaviors combined

[Finally Anna]

Assuming 4% means that every 25th person has some sort of "variance" (if we count also x-dressing as variance).
That's quite a few...
But x-dressing contains also those who do it for sexual kicks.

Anyway, I have no wish to go into a clinch about exactly who counts as gender variated.
Regardless, quite a few people are included in the group with some kind of variance and it is not too far off to say that everyone knows someone.

[davina61]

Yes I am not the only one in our hot rod group that is M to F, J I have know since 79 and she came to the hot rod meets we now go to. We never talk about "it" just cars and life!

[Finally Anna]

We never talk about "it" just cars and life!

Just the way that it should be!

[Emma1017]

I agree with Davina.  Being transgender is only part of who we are as a person.  Like every other human being, our gender should only be our business.

[Petunia]

I agree with Davina.  Being transgender is only part of who we are as a person.  Like every other human being, our gender should only be our business.

I wish I could remember this.
For 12 months now this has become my new obsession.
It really just needs to be a part of me and I need to become obsessed with life

[Lori Dee ✅]

It really just needs to be a part of me and I need to become obsessed with life

This is something we all need to learn. It takes time, but it can be done.

I don't know of anyone obsessing about their eye color. Don't like it? Colored contact lenses.
Don't like your hair color? Change it.

Most people do not experience gender dysphoria, so they just go on with their lives. Many in our post-op community do the same thing, which proves that transition does relieve the dysphoria. The difficult part is during transition, when it feels all-consuming.

My remedy? When I feel like that, I jump in my Jeep and go rockhounding or gold panning. It has nothing to do with transitioning, so it takes my mind off of it. And I enjoy it, so I do it often.

[Finally Anna]

For 12 months now this has become my new obsession. It really just needs to be a part of me and I need to become obsessed with life

Are you reading my mind, Petunia?

This is something we all need to learn. It takes time, but it can be done.

I am trying and I am at least partly successful. I still obsess but much less so than a few months ago. Life will take me in the proper direction and with a speed that is manageable, if I just let it by not obsessing too much and not steering too much.

Fly with the wind and Ride the wind.
Riding the wind includes to be a bit careful since I'm not solo in this. A marriage to care for and a loving wife that is trying her best to fly with me demands respect and a good dose of humility on my part.
💕

[Finally Anna]

In today's therapy session (once per month, or thereabout) one of the things was that I asked my therapist about his view on me and my journey. Not planned, but I wanted his opinion.
- Him: From what angle do you mean, any particular thing you wonder about?
- Me: Nope. Your free choice. Your view on me and my journey.

In short: His view is largely in sync with how I see myself, and how I actually am.

The interesting part that sprung from that question, which I kind of suspected would be the case, was to discuss a bit about the balance between (myself and my emotions) and (care and adaptation vs other people). As he said: I think you have very intellectual responses to many things in life, looking at things and issues and weighing options that can be both obvious and not so obvious. Maybe your lifelong denial and suppression has caused your immediate emotional response to be a bit filtered? That is something you need to be aware of. It does not have to become a problem, but if you do deny yourself by filtering your emotions then that burden will grow over time.

The question of being true to myself, and whether I can really know if I am true to myself, is something to keep in mind. But it is touching on a weakness of mine. I have always had a bit of difficulty in just letting go without considering this-and-that-and-whatnot. And I become really miserable when I hurt other people. A bit cowardly, perhaps? Afraid of how things will be, perhaps? That can be a good thing, but it's not always the right way. Well, I will not, cannot, become a totally different person in this sense but it is something I need to keep in mind and it came as no surprise that this would be part of his view.

[Stottie Girl]

Your therapist answered your question with a question, there's a surprise! Seriously though It was nice that he answered it and gave you his assessment most therapists I have seen rarely venture their own opinion when asked a direct question!

I wear my emotions on my sleeve, I love hard and hurt hard, I can fly off into a hissy fit, or bust into tears so easily but at the same time it is easy to get excited and feel joy. I can be impulsive and rash though. It is a rollercoaster that can be exhausting at times. I must be a nightmare to live with! A little intellectual response would be a good thing for me!!

[Finally Anna]

most therapists I have seen rarely venture their own opinion when asked a direct question!

I'd probably end our sessions if that would happen, but I would also guess that I'm less fragile than many people seeking therapy and perhaps he knew or felt both of those things. What I forgot to mention earlier is that I explicitly asked him to be honest and not wrap it in a lot of padding, telling him that I appreciate that style and that I would not fall over regardless of what he said.

A little intellectual response would be a good thing for me!!

A bit of that is nice, but I'd not recommend my level (it's probably not healthy). I'll send you a bucket of stone-cold analysis and what-ifs, if you pass me some of the immediate emotions. ☺️

[tammy753]

I have wrote about my experiences with therapy extensively but I can give you a visual on how mine feels. Its like a 5 year old looking for the prize at the bottom of a cereal box. I tell her all the good things she seeks out the bad things so we can talk about those until I cry. I have successfully made it through a session with out crying but she got me last time.

I think they know when we are trying to ignore something and zero in on it. I my therapist doesn't just ask questions she tries to answer and then asks a deeper question.

[Courtney G]

I have always had a bit of difficulty in just letting go without considering this-and-that-and-whatnot. And I become really miserable when I hurt other people. A bit cowardly, perhaps? Afraid of how things will be, perhaps? That can be a good thing, but it's not always the right way.

Strange - I wrote a reply but it didn't post.

Anyway, I was saying that I have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). When someone gets upset with me or I feel that I've made a mistake, I suffer for it for a very long time, years, even. A lot of my transition is centered around how I think other people will feel about it.

[Lori Dee ✅]

What I forgot to mention earlier is that I explicitly asked him to be honest and not wrap it in a lot of padding, telling him that I appreciate that style and that I would not fall over regardless of what he said.

I am the same way. I asked my psychologist point-blank how he would describe me. He said asexual trans-feminine. Then I made him explain why he thought that. I discovered he was right!

I tell my doctors the same thing. Don't sugarcoat it. Give me the evidence, the possible outcomes, and options on how to proceed. I can't decide unless I fully understand the situation.