This sounds like a very big moment, Petunia, and this is really only a single conversation. I'm so glad that you found the courage to sit and discuss this in detail. Like Anna says it seems at the level of "who you are" she doesn't see such a big issue. I expect however that more depth would need to be focused here to determine the extent. It seems like she is worried about other people which may be in terms of embarrassment and avoiding criticism. She may be worried about this in terms of her own feelings but also concen for you.
I think that it might be worth exploring these separate themes and more together. I'm kibd of thinking a what if situation - say if the worry about how people would see you wasn't there, would she be happy with you fully transitioning. Also I think going to your therapist means you can define some questions and discussions together. This maybe means you can push towards "what if" scenarios, like HRT, with your wife under the guise they are part of therapy. In reality this is true hypothetical exploration.
I get this will be hard and on top of your mind will be not losing your relationship. But there is also an opportunity to push the envelope a little after each therapy session. Change abd chages of mind sometimes happen with regular exposure, supporting your partners concerns with answers and the affirmation of a 3rd party.
Sending you lots of love and hugs. I know you'll need them.
Charlotte 😻
