Hi, I'm 60 years old, nonbinary transfem, and my egg cracked last year.
*record scratch* <Narrator>You might be wondering how we got here.</Narrator>
I never thought I could be trans because when I was young that word had a very limited definition. It was the "born in the wrong body" narrative. You also had to have really severe gender dysphoria, and hate your genitals. If that wasn't your narrative, word-for-word, then you weren't trans, by definition. You were a crossdresser, or ... other things I can't refer to on what's supposed to be an all ages message board.
I don't really remember a lot of my childhood but I remember my dad got REALLY hung up on making sure I didn't act in any way that could be called feminine. Couldn't even wear a pink shirt, even the classic "business shirt" that comes in pink. (and blue, and white, and mint green, and a bunch of other colors.)
I spent a lifetime thinking "Why do women get all the cool clothes?" but never connected that to being trans. Not really vibing with the label "boy" or "man"; just "I guess I'm OK with it" and dutifully checking the "M" box on official forms and such. "Hanging out with the guys" felt like putting on an act and I always preferred women as friends. I didn't really hate my genitals but tended to neglect my body and to think that in general the meatsack I was in was pretty darn annoying. Why are bodies, and why is mine so damn hairy.
I started hanging around ->-bleeped-<-, and found some of the trans and nonbinary meme communities. "Yeah that's a vibe." "Relatable." And so on. So I did more reading, especially some more up-to-date stuff on who is "trans".
And then I found out that a lot of the things I was feeling had been various subtle forms of dysphoria. I found out that dysphoria doesn't necessarily equate to hating your genitals. I also found out that gender *euphoria* is a much better indicator of being trans than dysphoria, and that you didn't have to have dysphoria to be trans.
So. I guess I'm trans, then. Nice to meet you all.
