Therapy was my biggest ally. I had a great medical team who were very supportive in every way, even when I was still questioning. Therapy helped me to see why I was so miserable, why relationships failed time and again (including three marriages), and how my role pretending to be a male was working against me.
Once I realized that this is who I am and accepted that, I relaxed. I no longer felt compelled to behave in a certain way. I began wearing women's clothing because it was more comfortable. Not just mentally, but physically, I felt comfortable. That further helped me relax and be myself.
Currently, in my personal life, I don't think about gender much, if at all. I just be me. If others are obsessed with what they think I am, that is not my concern. They can waste as much of their lives worrying about such things as they like. My life goes on, and I don't plan on slowing down just yet.
I still have things I want to do to make me feel better about my appearance. Electrolysis seems to take forever, but I am not a social animal, so I am content to just hang out with myself and do my thing.