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Like, ya know, whatever

Started by Laura Squirrel, July 12, 2026, 10:20:32 PM

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Laura Squirrel

I was trying to come up with a cool title, and nothing worked. So, "Simpsons" quote it is. This will be a spot where I can ramble and not be a total moron about it. Let's start this off with a video from my YouTube channel.


This was so awesome. I was able to hire Sherry Lynn for a Cameo video. This was even better than when I got to talk to Tim Morse (original drummer for the Boston Grindcore band, A.C.) on a friend's podcast.

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Lori Dee

Welcome to the Blogs, Laura!

Actually, I love that title. Looking forward to seeing what you do with the place.

Thanks for sharing with us!
My Life is Based on a True Story <-- The Story of Lori
The Story of Lori, Chapter 2
Veteran U.S. Army - SSG (Staff Sergeant) - M60A3 Tank Master Gunner
2017 - GD Diagnosis / 2019- 2nd Diagnosis / 2020 - HRT / 2022 - FFS & Legal Name Change
/ 2024 - Voice Training / 2025 - Passport & IDs complete - Started Electrolysis!

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Laura Squirrel

Quote from: Lori Dee on July 12, 2026, 10:30:00 PMWelcome to the Blogs, Laura!

Actually, I love that title. Looking forward to seeing what you do with the place.

Thanks for sharing with us!


Cheers! It was an obvious choice for a first post. It took me three times to do the intro because I couldn't stop giggling. It was so surreal. It also inspired a storyline. Portia's reaction in the story was actually a bit harsher than what Sherry came up with. One of the rare times that Portia has sworn in the fanfics. That would be number 5 for her on the swear count. Laura Squirrel and, especially, Kathy Cat, don't even bother to ask about that number. Kathy broke the needle off. LOL Yeah, I really get into this.
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Lori Dee

I liked the video. I think it was a perfect way to kick off your blog!
My Life is Based on a True Story <-- The Story of Lori
The Story of Lori, Chapter 2
Veteran U.S. Army - SSG (Staff Sergeant) - M60A3 Tank Master Gunner
2017 - GD Diagnosis / 2019- 2nd Diagnosis / 2020 - HRT / 2022 - FFS & Legal Name Change
/ 2024 - Voice Training / 2025 - Passport & IDs complete - Started Electrolysis!

HELP US HELP YOU!
Please consider becoming a Subscriber.
Donations accepted at: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/SusanElizabethLarson 🔗
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davina61

More fun in the basement!!! Being in the UK that went over my head, whatever!!!!
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017
GRS 2021 5th Nov

Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever
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Laura Squirrel

Quote from: davina61 on July 13, 2026, 02:28:24 AMMore fun in the basement!!! Being in the UK that went over my head, whatever!!!!

No. I live in an upstairs apartment. LOL

Oy vey!

The last 48 to 72 hours have been INSANE! I THOUGHT that I had neglected to pay my rent. I found a blank money order for the amount of rent late Friday night. I totally spiraled into an absolute freakout. I went to the office, and we got things sorted out.

Basically, the extreme heat had cooked my friggin' brain and had me all mixed up. Well, everything has been sorted, and my heart is no longer doing blastbeats in my chest. But, WOW, the stress was ridiculous. I'm already stressed enough over certain issues. That did NOT help.

But... it's fixed now.
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Laura Squirrel

Okay. Let's get away from that. Why not have the cutest couple in Green Meadow instead?

Portia Porcupine on the left and Laura Squirrel on the right. In the final story of the series, they (along with Kathy Cat, Erica Porcupine, Mary Lamb, and Martha Lamb) move into a house together and turn the garage into a rehearsal/recording space. Eventually, Laura proposes to Portia. That scene is so friggin' cute.
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Laura Squirrel



A duo of amazing soundtrack music from "Nimoma". You have to play them back to back. "Please Come Back" has this glorious, beautiful crescendo. Once it settles down, there is a reprise of "Nimona's Theme". But instead of the vocal melody, it's an octave or two lower, and the melody is, I think, an oboe or a clarinet kind of sound. It has this really mournful quality to it. It's really beautiful. It can get the waterworks going, that's for sure. But, I always feel better afterwards.   

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Laura Squirrel

*sighs*

People will always let you down.

"You talk too much". Okay, I will text instead. "Nope. That's too much". No response after that. Fine. I am beyond sick of people whom I know in person telling me that they care about me and clearly demonstrating that they don't. Yeah, I talk too much. Yes, my mind is stuck in a horrific doom loop that I can't escape from. Hell, I don't even play Doom Metal anymore. I have no desire to do things that I loved. I feel so friggin' hopeless. People reacting like this over and over and over and over doesn't help at all.

It just makes me think: "Wow, dude. A lot of people really are this stupid." It's like I'm living between two worlds or something. It is so friggin maddening and depressing.
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Charlotte Kitty

Quote from: Laura Squirrel on Today at 11:04:23 AM*sighs*

People will always let you down.

"You talk too much". Okay, I will text instead. "Nope. That's too much". No response after that. Fine. I am beyond sick of people whom I know in person telling me that they care about me and clearly demonstrating that they don't. Yeah, I talk too much. Yes, my mind is stuck in a horrific doom loop that I can't escape from. Hell, I don't even play Doom Metal anymore. I have no desire to do things that I loved. I feel so friggin' hopeless. People reacting like this over and over and over and over doesn't help at all.

It just makes me think: "Wow, dude. A lot of people really are this stupid." It's like I'm living between two worlds or something. It is so friggin maddening and depressing.

I think that's quite common that people are available for you when things are going easy or you're exactly as they'd like you to be. Changes when things are tougher or they don't want to talk so much. Can be hard when you often just rely on yourself.

Sending you lots of warm hugs and hoping you can get back to the things you enjoy soon. Tough to do much when your head is in circles, but try to find some you time and do something that makes you feel even a little better. Its so tough though.

Charlotte ❤️
Trans Non binary, femme aligned.
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Laura Squirrel

Well, other than acoustic blues stuff and the rare bit of Ambient electric guitar, that's it. Well....wait...I am getting my synth set up back together. BUT the hopelessness, despair, is so strong. People tell me just to "smile and be happy". That is impossible to do when you are sad that you woke up. They don't get it at all. But they just veg out on Netflix since they don't want to be bothered with what is actually going on.
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Laura Squirrel

Quote from: Charlotte Kitty on Today at 11:32:00 AMI think that's quite common that people are available for you when things are going easy or you're exactly as they'd like you to be. Changes when things are tougher or they don't want to talk so much. Can be hard when you often just rely on yourself.

Sending you lots of warm hugs and hoping you can get back to the things you enjoy soon. Tough to do much when your head is in circles, but try to find some you time and do something that makes you feel even a little better. Its so tough though.

Charlotte ❤️

Yeah, I hate it. It's gotten to the point where I spend more time talking to myself or talking to Portia. I know none of that is normal. But, what passes as 'normal' in so many people's eyes is pretty screwed up, if ya ask me.

To give you an idea of what the Ambient guitar stuff sounds like, here's a video. I use an OBNE signal blender to have the clean signal and a pair of effected channels. It's just my phone up against the speaker. So, the audio isn't top-shelf quality. But, to be fair, even if I were using my interface and mics, it wouldn't be top-shelf since I am not that good at audio engineering.

🔗

It's funny because back in the day, I would upload all of this live Metal footage that I bought from people. That got decent views. Once I dumped that and my short-lived podcast (that no one cared about anyway), the views dropped like a rock. "What's all this weird noise stuff?" It's what I like to do. Yeah, there is some Death Metal stuff. But my skills have dropped way, way off there. I attempted to play "Nutra-Death" by Hideous Mangleus a while back. When it got to the fast part, my arms and wrists locked up. LOL I was, like, "Ugh. I sound as bad as I did in the early 90s". But, that's the way that goes. Maybe I will get that back. But, at this point, I just don't know.
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Lori Dee

I like it.

As you said, it needs to be cleaned up, but I still like it.

Thanks for sharing.
My Life is Based on a True Story <-- The Story of Lori
The Story of Lori, Chapter 2
Veteran U.S. Army - SSG (Staff Sergeant) - M60A3 Tank Master Gunner
2017 - GD Diagnosis / 2019- 2nd Diagnosis / 2020 - HRT / 2022 - FFS & Legal Name Change
/ 2024 - Voice Training / 2025 - Passport & IDs complete - Started Electrolysis!

HELP US HELP YOU!
Please consider becoming a Subscriber.
Donations accepted at: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/SusanElizabethLarson 🔗
  • skype:.?call
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Laura Squirrel

GTA chicks.PNG

I forgot all about this. Here's a much better image of the GTA OC's.
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Laura Squirrel

Quote from: Lori Dee on Today at 01:03:04 PMI like it.

As you said, it needs to be cleaned up, but I still like it.

Thanks for sharing.

Well, it's phone audio, ya know? LOL

I was going to buy an actual camcorder at one point. But, as the cost of living went up, up, up, that idea went out the window.
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Charlotte Kitty

That sounds nice, very hypnotic to me. Be interesting to hear your synth sometime too 🙂
Trans Non binary, femme aligned.

Laura Squirrel

Quote from: Charlotte Kitty on Today at 01:55:48 PMThat sounds nice, very hypnotic to me. Be interesting to hear your synth sometime too 🙂


Ask, and ye shall receive. Actually, I forgot all about these videos. Here's one that is more mellow. Kind of a soundtrack vibe.
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Charlotte Kitty

Quote from: Laura Squirrel on Today at 02:23:48 PM

Ask, and ye shall receive. Actually, I forgot all about these videos. Here's one that is more mellow. Kind of a soundtrack vibe.


Oooh now that sounds beautiful. I do love the sounds that can be coaxed out of them.
Trans Non binary, femme aligned.

Laura Squirrel

Quote from: Charlotte Kitty on Today at 02:36:10 PMOooh now that sounds beautiful. I do love the sounds that can be coaxed out of them.

The Arturia MicroFreak is absolutely amazing. It's a little weird with the way the keyboard operates. But I was accustomed to my ancient Casio keyboard. That went away in, I think, 2018 or 2020. Outside of my Grind/Noise project, Anthropomorphic Lesbianism, I was just using it for soundscape stuff like this. The MicroFreak is suited for so many styles.
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Laura Squirrel


Here's me doing a batch of A.C. covers as Anthropomorphic Lesbianism. This was back when my vocals were still mint. I had a tonsillectomy when I was in my mid-30s, and it really screwed me up. It's only been in the last couple of years that my singing and screaming vocals are somewhat better.
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