Like, ya know, whatever

[davina61]

It goes through the door way into the hall so no chance, last time I used carpet tape and ran it along the carpet joiner but the new router is just that bit further away and I have no carpet tape!

[Laura Squirrel]

Well, get you some carpet tape.

[Laura Squirrel]

My friend had a job in a nearby city this week. So, he drove down to my town and crashed here. Partly to save some money on a motel and so we could hang out a bit. It was nice. Yeah, I was very sad to see him leave. But I always am.

[Laura Squirrel]

I found out that there's a good chance that my E gel won't be covered. Great. This amounts to a forcible detranstion.

I will bring it up with my endo. But I have no hope for a positive resolution. I decided to vote early yesterday. Big whoop.

The curtain will be closing soon. My 50th birthday is fading away fast. That's six months away. But with the way things are shaping up, I just don't see it happening. Yeah, that date will come and go. But I don't see myself being here when it arrives.

[Stottie Girl]

I found out that there's a good chance that my E gel won't be covered. Great. This amounts to a forcible detranstion.

I will bring it up with my endo. But I have no hope for a positive resolution. I decided to vote early yesterday. Big whoop.

The curtain will be closing soon. My 50th birthday is fading away fast. That's six months away. But with the way things are shaping up, I just don't see it happening. Yeah, that date will come and go. But I don't see myself being here when it arrives.

Laura, you can get E-gel privately, from abroad might even be cheaper than at home, given US drug pricing? Don't panic yet! It's not great that is for sure but there are options.

[Mariah ✅]

Plus coupons and other discounts do exist plus depending on the pharmacy the price can very too. Hugs
Mariah

[Laura Squirrel]

Why do people want me to stick my head in the sand? Why do they want to engage in the same circular conversations that go nowhere? I didn't even want to bring it up. Yes. I sound sad. That's because I am. I wanted to ask about medical things that, mostly, have nothing to do with anything that is trans related. Sure, there's the endo appointment. But I'm also a diabetic. But I never got to bring that up. I just wanted to remind them of the impending eye doc appointment. They just start up the same circular nonsense. It just adds to my anxiety, disturbs my already shredded sleep schedule, and gives me constant stress headaches. "Just do what makes you happy." I don't even like waking up. I just do things to TRY and speed the day along so I can go back to sleep or at least try to.

[Laura Squirrel]

No one can change who you are. You will always be you.

Yeah... sure. If that were the case, I could've just lived as me from age 8 onwards. I wouldn't need to jump through medical and legal hoops. I wouldn't have to wait until I was a fair amount in my adulthood. It's all just empty words and insipid thoughts.

Pretty much everyone in my family knows about my darker thoughts. No one cares. It's all just blather. Besides, too many of them have let the mask slip. I would file that away in the memory banks. I know that deep down, most of them don't respect me, and they see me as an idiot.

Look...I didn't ask to be thrown into this world, okay? Don't sit there and give me a bunch of nonsensical crap. It doesn't help. It only makes things worse. They will just blame me if things go south. For now, I am just going to keep going until I simply can't.

I often think that being stubborn was a curse.

[Lori Dee ✅]

No one can change who you are. You will always be you.

I don't think you understand what this means.

You are not your body. You are not a collection of medical issues. You are not a state of health or fitness.

Your body changes on its own over time. Medication, surgery, and accidents can change the body. That doesn't change who you are.

You are not a collection of behaviors either. Behaviors can change over time.

You are not a collection of thoughts. Your thoughts change over time, and you can change them. Changing your thoughts can also change your behavior. But that still does not change who you are.

Who you are does not change. How you express who you are can. You can change your thinking, your behavior, and your appearance to express who you are. But your identity, the deep-inside-you "I am," does not change.

Dysphoria happens when the body, thoughts, and behaviors don't align with that innermost identity. That is why we change our body, our voice, our mannerisms, and behaviors to match.

[Laura Squirrel]

I don't think you understand what this means.

You are not your body. You are not a collection of medical issues. You are not a state of health or fitness.

Your body changes on its own over time. Medication, surgery, and accidents can change the body. That doesn't change who you are.

You are not a collection of behaviors either. Behaviors can change over time.

You are not a collection of thoughts. Your thoughts change over time, and you can change them. Changing your thoughts can also change your behavior. But that still does not change who you are.

Who you are does not change. How you express who you are can. You can change your thinking, your behavior, and your appearance to express who you are. But your identity, the deep-inside-you "I am," does not change.

Dysphoria happens when the body, thoughts, and behaviors don't align with that innermost identity. That is why we change our body, our voice, our mannerisms, and behaviors to match.

So, I have to ask.....

If my gender marker is revoked.

If my legal name is revoked.

What does that leave?

[Lori Dee ✅]

So, I have to ask.....

If my gender marker is revoked.

If my legal name is revoked.

What does that leave?

You.

Those are labels the government applies.
Those are not who you are.
You decide who you are.

[Laura Squirrel]

You.

Those are labels the government applies.
Those are not who you are.
You decide who you are.

Well, no. My parents gave me those labels.

My applying for the name change, going in front of a judge, going to the BMV, going to the Social Security office. That would be the government.

Not to mention the whole process itself. I mean, come on, what if I just said, "screw it. I'm Laura, and that's it." Then, I present my I.D. card, and it has my birth name on it. No hormones, no electro, no orchi. The results would not be what they are in the present. It just wouldn't.

Plus, the whole root of this problem IS our current government and the groups that are associated with them. Think about it. To deny this reality wouldn't make much sense.

[Lori Dee ✅]

Well, no. My parents gave me those labels.

My applying for the name change, going in front of a judge, going to the BMV, going to the Social Security office. That would be the government.

Not to mention the whole process itself. I mean, come on, what if I just said, "screw it. I'm Laura, and that's it." Then, I present my I.D. card, and it has my birth name on it. No hormones, no electro, no orchi. The results would not be what they are in the present. It just wouldn't.

Plus, the whole root of this problem IS our current government and the groups that are associated with them. Think about it. To deny this reality wouldn't make much sense.

Now, I understand what you meant.

You were not saying you can't be yourself. You were saying that the labels given to us are what matter to society. Who we are is not considered. I get it. Truly.

My 15 years in the military taught me that there is always a loophole. When someone tells me I can't do something I want to do, I look for a loophole. I do not accept that it can't be done, so I ask myself: How can I make this happen? It isn't always fun or easy, but I usually find a way.

I start by not listening to people who try to tell me how to live my life. It isn't theirs to decide. If they don't like my choices, they are free to mind their own business. If they refuse, then I cut them off. Life's too short to spend with negative people.
 

[davina61]

You need to be pig headed like me and not give a stuff!

[Laura Squirrel]

I start by not listening to people who try to tell me how to live my life. It isn't theirs to decide. If they don't like my choices, they are free to mind their own business. If they refuse, then I cut them off. Life's too short to spend with negative people.
 

Well, thanks to a certain person being a bad decision maker, I have no choice but to deal with them. That's why I wish I never existed. I really don't want to be here. But I'm trapped.

You need to be pig headed like me and not give a stuff!

99% of the time, I don't. But that 1% is a tad crucial.