Social interaction as you transition

[ChrissyRyan]

It is good to get out, safely.  One venue can be a community book reading group or a Scrabble or card playing group or maybe a photography group or club.

You will know if they seem to be accepting after a visit or maybe two.  Try to find something you enjoy and you know other people are interested in and find a safe group to visit, and participate.

These groups do not need to be transgender only groups!  Just one that fits your interest and they treat you fairly.  Go a bit androgynous if that gives you more comfort on your first visit.  Also, try to do some volunteer work, that may be so good for you and others.


Chrissy

[noleen111]

I think, what is important with social interactions, is too be able blend in. That was always my target.

for example, if you go out for a coffee, women don't dress up in a ballgown to have a coffee.

Take note how women your age dress in social situations..

I work in the retail environment, a dress shop, and we use to have a this trans-women come in, and she stood out, she always over dressed.. My floor girls, use to laugh at her, i always felt bad and often helped her personally, I always tried to make her feel welcome. I told my girls, there money is just as good as everyone else's.

[Stottie Girl]

I think, what is important with social interactions, is too be able blend in. That was always my target.

for example, if you go out for a coffee, women don't dress up in a ballgown to have a coffee.

Take note how women your age dress in social situations..

I work in the retail environment, a dress shop, and we use to have a this trans-women come in, and she stood out, she always over dressed.. My floor girls, use to laugh at her, i always felt bad and often helped her personally, I always tried to make her feel welcome. I told my girls, there money is just as good as everyone else's.

This is what I'm aiming to achieve. I believe if you are clearly making the effort to pass you will find social interractions and relationships will become easier (I wish it wasn't this way but I think that's where society is right now). When I get out there in the real world I just want to be able to blend into society as a normal CIS woman. I do not want to make that jump until I am passing to the best of my abilities. I think I am more likely to be accepted that way. I have no desire to trick anybody, if they are close or if they need to know I will tell them but for everyone else I want them to think I am just another plump CIS girl waddling her way through life!

Everyone is different though and I can totally understand that for some it is like a champagne cork popping and they want to get out there and experience everything and start living the female life as soon as possible. There is no right way or wrong way. Do what you think is right for you I guess.

[Lori Dee ✅]

I work in the retail environment, a dress shop, and we use to have a this trans-women come in, and she stood out, she always over dressed.. My floor girls, use to laugh at her, i always felt bad and often helped her personally, I always tried to make her feel welcome. I told my girls, there money is just as good as everyone else's.

I have seen similar situations. I was at a No Kings March and was introduced to a transgender woman. She wasn't wearing a lot of makeup and looked nice, but she was wearing an evening dress with heels... for a two-mile walk. No one made fun of her. People accepted her and included her in their conversations.

The point is not that you must have an hourglass figure, boobs, long hair, and makeup to pass. If she had dressed the same as everyone else: jeans, t-shirt, tennis shoes, I am not sure she would have been clocked. It would not have mattered if she was in that group. But don't make the mistake of thinking it's all about feminine traits, when blending in works much better.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

For me this has always been a mixed bag as I have never been shy to stand out even when I was in boy mode, but since transition I also have some very much blend in styles. Of course this comes with the risk of getting hassle, but since my going out fully presenting as a woman I've had far fewer looks or comments then when I was boymode.

I guess as a woman I edge my style to the more Kawaii / whimsical style at the most extreme and often one of the few women in dresses when I am. But I think people just see me as an alt girl and leave me be. Really the same as when I'm just in a tank top and denim shorts, no hassle.

The only time I got shouted at I was in a rainbow crop top and shorts and my bf was in a full pink care bears outfit. We probably looked like queer thrown up! Out alone I'm treated completely normally even in ruffle skirts and care bears dresses.

I think you can pull off the non blended in look. But you need to have a certain attitude and confidence to do it. Drop that confidence and you'll get eaten alive!

Charlotte

[Devlyn ✅]

I feel like Chrissy was suggesting ways for people to meet friends while enjoying the company of others, but we're drifting into a "passing" topic.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Running club is great! I'm so fully accepted and often in a group with all other women, so the leader calls us ladies and we have a laugh. Some of the older ladies were commenting I was a 'lovely view' as I was in front, made me feel all shy lol!

Furry meets, of course they are extremely diverse and accepting! Can totally be anything I want there.

I've found more general groups are few and far between in my locality these days. Or they happen during work hours.

[Devlyn ✅]

Running club is great! I'm so fully accepted and often in a group with all other women, so the leader calls us ladies and we have a laugh. Some of the older ladies were commenting I was a 'lovely view' as I was in front, made me feel all shy lol!

Furry meets, of course they are extremely diverse and accepting! Can totally be anything I want there.

I've found more general groups are few and far between in my locality these days. Or they happen during work hours.

Park runs? My wife used to do them and said it was great fun. 🙂

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Park runs? My wife used to do them and said it was great fun. 🙂

No this is an affiliated local running club, so we pay to be members, includes training and you have run leaders for each group. Its just so inclusive and very much orientated to all abilities. Like most UK groups banter and joking is very much alive!! I do do Park runs though time to time.

[Devlyn ✅]

There's a Britishism for you: "do do" 😂

I giggle every time my wife says that, and now she'll even go "do do" when someone else says it. Although I'm still a child and can't keep a straight face when the announcement says "This is a Cockfosters train." 🤣

[Stottie Girl]

There's a Britishism for you: "do do" 😂

I giggle every time my wife says that, and now she'll even go "do do" when someone else says it. Although I'm still a child and can't keep a straight face when the announcement says "This is a Cockfosters train." 🤣

Can't see what's wrong with that like 🤣🤣

It's our language, we invented it 😜😜

[Stottie Girl]

I was a member of a cycle club a good while back (when I was thin and fit) but gave it up for a number of reasons one of which was that it became obvious there was no hiding the boobage in lycra bib shorts! I would very much like to join another cycle club and go on all girl ride outs once I'm out there as me.

I also would love to join a hiking group (there are loads of them around here) but I want to join as Sarah, not as male me and then have to transition and have the awkward conversations.

Both of these activities are in my wheelhouse (pun intended) and I think they will represent an excellent opportunity to gain new friends as Sarah.

Whilst I love photography my interests are wildlife and landscape photography and that is quite a solitary pursuit, I'm not going to end up with a large circle of friends doing that alone.