You aren't being silly Tammy, you're just working through some stuff is all.
I'm just certain you will end up in a very good place in 2028 if not sooner! I don't know what you are like in male mode but on here, as Tammy, you are friendly, open ,careing, supportive, outgoing. I find it hard to believe you are introverted or suffer with agoraphobia. Being Tammy is good for you, it suits you just as being Sarah suits me.