This morning I woke up with severe back pain. So lets review: I went to bed with no pain, woke up with back pain. WTH happened last night?
I slept really good so was I moving furniture in my sleep? Was I doing exercises? That can't be it, I think I am allergic to exercise.
Did I get in a fight with a pillow? One does look like it went 20 rounds with Nintendo's Bald Bull, please don't sue me Nintendo I just needed a funny name.
My Mustang has heated seats which are great for my back so I might need to make a pilgrimage to get pasta tonight. Unfortunately, there is a battle to the death between my heated seats and my car's suspension. One is making me feel better while the other is trying to turn my spine into a crushed soda can.
Unfortunately for my heated seats, I live in Ohio where the only roads that get fixed are in neighborhoods that have an average yearly income of 250k or more. I think potholes are our state animal.
Do you think the back pain and the bad roads explains my inability to filter out the profanity that seems to be all-consuming in my work life? Susan's profanity filter is really good, is there one that I can have installed in my brain?
I was in a meeting yesterday and it must have been a contest about how many times I can use the a profanity in 30 minutes. I think it averages out to about five every two minutes. It's not a personal best, but I appear to be working on it.
The problem is, before today, I didn't actually hear it, which was great. Then some jerkface pointed it out and now I hear all of them.
I am over 50 so I think it's too late to change now. Can you imagine being around me at 70+? Those poor bruises—nurses, changing my Depends while I am just spewing profanity.
Anyway, I am off to make my 40-minute drive to get pasta. Did you know heated seats keep food hot when you are traveling? I think that is what the passenger seat is for. Wish me luck as I cross the great expanse of Ohio's craters to obtain a massive amount of carbs that will make all the nutritionists in the world weep.
Disclaimer: Bald Bull did not grant consent to have his name mentioned in my blog. He is referenced as a joke, and this constitutes fair use. Please don't sue me Nintendo, I have a bad back and court chairs don't have lumbar support.
