Charlotte, I agree with what everybody else has said.
I too will refrain from commenting on how you look as my comments really aren't helping you in the long run.
You are only 18 months into transition and if you listen to other girls who are ahead of you, this takes time and patience.
I think you look totally female and would struggle to look totally male unless you totally detransition.
From most of your writing you really don't want that. You've just forgotten how much you disliked being male.
If you stop estrogen you will lose hair on your head and will get it back on your body. That is going to make you feel even worse.
I wish you could focus more on the friends you have made.
The promise of going out clubbing and enjoying yourself could lead anywhere.
You may get some experiences you want from that.
I care for you deeply and hate to see you in pain, but I can't really help you.
You need to get help for your dysphoria/ dysmorphia and as others have pointed out, that help won't be found here. A lot of us have tried.
We aren't lying to you when we give compliments, it's simply you can't see yourself how we do.
