Chapter 2 - Charlotte's scratch post

[Northern Star Girl ✅]

WELCOME to Charlotte Kitty's continuing story
                Chapter 2 - Charlotte's scratch post

Charlotte Kitty's first Blog Thread on the Forum has reached 2040 reply comments/postings now
exceeding the Forum limit of 100 pages  2000 reply comments.

I have therefore LOCKED her first and original Blog thread which is still available
for reading and reference to the postings there:
                          Charlotte's scratch post
                https://www.susans.org/index.php?topic=252859.0

Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
  Forum Administrator
      Direct Email:  alaskandanielle@yahoo.com

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

This morning I had legs, bums and tums. The class was tough and gruelling as last time. But even better everyone was pleased to see me back. They thought they'd scared me off! But we had coffee and a long chat again as a group. They said the chat time is their favourite part of coming to class and must say I agree! It feels amazing to be part of this.

Later I had my eyebrow pierced. Omg thats legit worse than any tattoo or other piercing I've had. Two needles, one each side, then one all the way through. Honestly I nearly fainted, needed a sugary lolly to recover. But she was soo kind. Alt girl with loads of piercings and tattoos. Wearing a leopard print dress. But mommy vibes with it. She was sooo hot!!

Other news, I'm hoping to meet for a coffee with a woman I met on a female dating app. Not sure what the long term expectation is as her bio says "not sure" with regards what she wants. If just friends I'm  totally up for that. If also with extra benefits, well up for that too! But for now will keep an open mind. Got a lot to figure out in my head with all this.

Hugs ❤️ C

[Northern Star Girl ✅]

@Charlotte Kitty
Dear Charlotte:
I very much enjoyed reading your positive continuing story and viewing
your terrific photos.
I am very happy for you and I am pleased to see and read your progress in your journey.

Please keep your updates coming.
      ❤️
HUGS, Danielle[Northern Star Girl]
    Forum Administrator
              Direct Email:  alaskandanielle@yahoo.com

[Lori Dee ✅]

Hey, Charlotte!

Welcome to Chapter Two of your Scratch post. You have come a long way, baby. Keep the momentum going into the future.

Hugs!

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Felt good today until i saw my body in the mirror bedore bed. Daily reminder of my failing transition.

[Northern Star Girl ✅]

Felt good today until i saw my body in the mirror bedore bed. Daily reminder of my failing transition.

@Charlotte Kitty
Dear Charlotte:
For most "transitioners in progress"... cameras and mirrors are your enemy. 
They are liars and are misleading you and feeding your overly self-critical
mind regarding your own appearance.

Please continue updating your Blog Thread, you have many avid readers and followers
including me that see you much differently than your "faulty" mirrors and cameras.

      ❤️
HUGS, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
    Forum Administrator
Direct Email: alaskandanielle@yahoo.com

[davina61]

Then stop looking in the mirror!! No one else sees what you perceive, just look at the bums crowd and remember what they say.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Then stop looking in the mirror!! No one else sees what you perceive, just look at the bums crowd and remember what they say.

My mirror is above my sink and 1.5m wide. Hard to avoid lol

I just need to get to February then biggest problems are fixed 😊

[Petunia]

Cover it.
Or don't turn on the lights.

[Petunia]

Are those eyebrow piercings new?
I haven't noticed them before

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

Are those eyebrow piercings new?
I haven't noticed them before

Yeah brand new...the story is in my original blog, though carried over in the quote. Its one piercing which was excruciating to get. But its moving me closer to the woman I want to be. 

[Lori Dee ✅]

But its moving me closer to the woman I want to be. 

It is moving you closer to the woman that you ARE.

Baby steps. Just keep moving forward, and you will get there.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

I crash when I see others...this is a self esteem thing. Thats the thing I strugle with. And I'm lacking a defined identity, so everytime I see someone else, I believe that is who I want to be. But I'm sure thats not the case. I also have a massive inferiority complex and believe I'm lesser than others. Like I'm broken, not as pretty, not as feminine, falling behind in my transition. I'm fighting these feelings. It's a big fight as this cuts to my core.

[Lori Dee ✅]

So much cuteness in these photos. I wish you could see it.

Look beyond the skin. See the personality coming through. That is your inner spirit radiating outward, and it is beautiful.

Thanks for sharing!

[Alana Ashleigh]

Charlotte, love the piercings. I've been thinking about getting my eyebrow pierced too.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

The dysphoria is so strong at the moment. Dark hair has come back on my face in patches. Now I've got to let it grow until Wednesday evening as having electrolysis to at least get rid of some. But its real hard being out and about in front of people like this whilst I've been a woman so long.

Being on that female dating app is still giving me great anxiety. I just don't feel like I'm pretty enough...at all. Whether the photos of others are accurate or not, I'm just totally on the scrap heap compared with both cis and trans women on there. They all look so pretty. Even everyone 20 years older on there makes me look just ugly. A handful of people have liked me, but just get nothing back from most of them or they go quiet. I'm hopeful I can make a couple of friends, but why would any women be remotely interested in doing anything more intimate with me when there are near infinite other options that look so much better? I just really struggle to believe any woman would look at me and actually think I'm hot ☹️

Of the few likes I have got 90% are other trans woman. Not a problem per se, but seems like most cis women either don't like me or don't like trans women. I'm guessing its a mix of the two.

Well lets hope I can get a couple of nice friends out of this at least. But I'm losing hope for much else. Maybe when I'm post op I might be more tempting if I highlight that.

[Maid Marion]

You could dress to take the attention away fom your face.  Avoid wearing a necklace.
Wear a sparkly bracelet instead.  Paint your nails with bright colored nail polish.

[Lori Dee ✅]

The problem with dating apps and online presence in general is that they aren't based in reality. Everyone looks good, which should tell you something. AI imagery, Photoshop, etc., all remove the flaws. I would bet that if you met any of them in person, they wouldn't look like that.

Ditch the digital and meet people in person. You don't need to carry a sign saying, "Be My Friend." Find events of interest to you and meet people there. Your experience with Bums & Tums shows exactly what I mean. You see them, and they see you as you really are. They still liked you and invited you to join them for more. If you were repulsive, they wouldn't have invited you. So go for it.

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

The problem with dating apps and online presence in general is that they aren't based in reality. Everyone looks good, which should tell you something. AI imagery, Photoshop, etc., all remove the flaws. I would bet that if you met any of them in person, they wouldn't look like that.

Ditch the digital and meet people in person. You don't need to carry a sign saying, "Be My Friend." Find events of interest to you and meet people there. Your experience with Bums & Tums shows exactly what I mean. You see them, and they see you as you really are. They still liked you and invited you to join them for more. If you were repulsive, they wouldn't have invited you. So go for it.

I'm definitely up for meeting friends just naturally in person. But I'm also after friends with benefits / hook ups with the specific clause I'm not after a primary relationship. Online I can be clear what I'm looking for. TBH today a couple of people have liked me and messaged for fun. But they like 20 and 22 year olds...i mean I'm not against it per se, but I'm terrified too. Guess this is all so new to me, especially as Charlotte

[Charlotte Kitty ✅]

As time goes on I find more things about becoming a woman make sense for me. Things i never thought about. Like GRS is going to give me the ability to experience sexiality fully, which I could never do before. At the same time, getting to know this new gurlll sometimes throws everything I thought I was and felt, on its head. I guess Charlotte's personality is miles ahead of my current confidence.

Thanks for being here and being kind x