"I can read you like a book"

[sd]

I believe this topic started seriously, and can become serious again.

Thanks Pica Pica
It was started as just an interesting question, what I meant by serious in the context I used was someone needing help or something. At which point staying on topic would be preferred.

I was just hoping to get some interesting responses, the main goal was to initiate a discussion around what I asked, if it lead to something else that would be fine as well.  It did head off in a direction I did not expect but only after getting what I was after.

[Pica Pica]

Think it's another touching stone for us?? this being read thing.

[Simone Louise]

Forgive me, but I cannot resist adding my two cents to the talk of God. Mine cares less what I believe than that I act as a partner in the completion of creation. I am not expected to finish the task nor am I free to ignore it. In my prayer book's morning prayers are these words:

"These are the obligations without measure, whose reward, too, is without measure:
to honor father and mother;
to perform acts of love and kindness;
to attend the house of study daily;
to welcome the stranger;
to visit the sick;
to rejoice with bride and groom;
to console the bereaved;
to pray with sincerity;
to make peace where there is strife.
And the study of Torah is equal to them all, because it leads to them all."

I choose to feel chosen to live this way. No one else need feel similarly obligated.

Hope this wasn't too heavy or too off topic,
Simone

[NickSister]

I don't think I have had a similar experience to you sd. Very few people can 'read me' in terms of understanding my moods or feelings. I can't think of one at this time, not even my wife. I seem to be good a putting on a face. I feel like my mood should be bleedingly obvious from the depth of feeling but it seems to go unnoticed by those around me - male or female.

I think this partly comes from growing up with a violent manic depressive parent. It was best to go unnoticed, don't rock the boat, be still and you won't set them off. When I was young and performing music in front of a crowd or giving a speach most people comment on how confident and calm I was even though I felt like was was white as a sheet and shaking.

I'm not sure if this is an inability to express what I feel or more that I internalise everything. I think it is probably the later. I have noticed lately though that things are spilling out in a rather uncontrolled way - like yelling or punching a wall in frustration. The old dysphoria is really wearing down my control.

[sd]

Possibly Pica Pica
It was only a short period where it was so easy for them, but it was also only "surface" emotions. Obviously they really had no idea what was going on in the deeper recesses of my mind, but my outward emotions were easy for them to read. No one else that I knew was that easily read.

I was only curious if it was just and that phase in my life or if more went through a similar period. Unfortunately, I think it also only served to further push me into my shell. In High school it seemed every female could do it.

While extremely rare today, every once in a while someone will come along and be able to do it, always women. Thinking back about the ones later in life, at least one of them may have been an androgyne (almost positive). Odd to think that because I did not spend a lot of time around her, but there was a connection there. Her husband may have been as well, not sure why that occurs to me only now.

This woman definitely knew something was different with me even though at this point in my life was when I most repressed who I was (during my time in the military). I repressed it so much that I started to think maybe I was normal after all. That self image started to fall apart a bit later, and had I stayed in the military someone would have figured it out and then who knows what would have happened. Towards the end of my career they starting to question things about my life. Lack of girlfriends, sex, attitude...

I thought I was fitting in but in the military, you spend so much time together and depend on each other, eventually you get to know everyone quite well. We often knew each other better than our families/wives did. Sometimes apparently better than we know ourselves.

[Kir]

Forgive me, but I cannot resist adding my two cents to the talk of God. Mine cares less what I believe than that I act as a partner in the completion of creation. I am not expected to finish the task nor am I free to ignore it. In my prayer book's morning prayers are these words:

"These are the obligations without measure, whose reward, too, is without measure:
to honor father and mother;
to perform acts of love and kindness;
to attend the house of study daily;
to welcome the stranger;
to visit the sick;
to rejoice with bride and groom;
to console the bereaved;
to pray with sincerity;
to make peace where there is strife.
And the study of Torah is equal to them all, because it leads to them all."

I choose to feel chosen to live this way. No one else need feel similarly obligated.

Hope this wasn't too heavy or too off topic,
Simone

See that's the fascinating thing about religion. Regardless of what the religion is, the prayers are all about the same in meaning. Well, except for our silly ones up above (does anyone really worship the god of dust bunnies?). I actually totally understand people needing a god. And even if there is no gods, there is no harm in praying to them the sort of prayers you say, in fact there is plenty of good in saying them.

I know in the end I don't worship the same god as you. That doesn't mean I don't think your god doesn't exist, sie very well might. I respect your god, and your belief of your god, and I think that's cool. But as I stand outside of standard gender roles, I also stand outside of standard religions.

But my religious beliefs are probably best left for a different thread another time.

[Pica Pica]

i think the discordians said ethics best.

Eris may let you do whatever you want to do, but no one likes an arsehole.

[tekla]

Excuse me, but >-bleeped-<s love >-bleeped-<s, otherwise how did Marylin Manson ever sell record one?

[Pica Pica]

a strong image and a pseudo-intellectualism.

[tekla]

I'm down with that, as I head off to do herself tomorrow.  Oh, but don't look at her?  WTF?

[sd]

Excuse me, but >-bleeped-<s love >-bleeped-<s, otherwise how did Marylin Manson ever sell record one?

What does that say about Michael Jackson?

[tekla]

Nothing.  Thriller, 25 years later, is still awesome.

[sd]

Nothing.  Thriller, 25 years later, is still awesome.

So if you like him, he is not an >-bleeped-< (despite what he may or may not have done), but since you dislike Mason, he must be an >-bleeped-<?

Different strokes for different folks.

[RebeccaFog]

I'm down with that, as I head off to do herself tomorrow.  Oh, but don't look at her?  WTF?

are you serious?  Only a God can not be looked upon.  Maybe that's whose heart we've been connected to this whole entire time.  No wonder I feel so dirty.

I would have cut my own throat for saying this 25 years ago, but Thriller is a good album.  You still won't catch me listening to it on purpose.

[tekla]

Granted that MH and MM are not exactly people you want you kids to grow up to be.  Still.  I've done ever MM tour since AntiChirst Superstar in the mid 90s, and I've yet to hear that band hit a solid note.  I'm a DeadHead, and as much as it pains me to say, Thriller, is good >-bleeped-<. more because of Quincy Jones than MJ, still......

[sd]

Granted that MH and MM are not exactly people you want you kids to grow up to be.  Still.  I've done ever MM tour since AntiChirst Superstar in the mid 90s, and I've yet to hear that band hit a solid note.  I'm a DeadHead, and as much as it pains me to say, Thriller, is good >-bleeped-<. more because of Quincy Jones than MJ, still......

Axle Rose cannot hit a solid note either. 

[tekla]

Not anymore at least, and when he was good, it didn't matter.

[Shana A]

I believe this topic started seriously, and can become serious again.

Now, what was the topic anyway?? Something about reading books, or G-d, or Michael Jackson? ......

Z

[Jaimey]

Now, what was the topic anyway?? Something about reading books, or G-d, or Michael Jackson? ......

The topic is: I am God.  Now worship me.  Heh.

I seem to be good a putting on a face. I feel like my mood should be bleedingly obvious from the depth of feeling but it seems to go unnoticed by those around me - male or female.

I think this partly comes from growing up with a violent manic depressive parent. It was best to go unnoticed, don't rock the boat, be still and you won't set them off. When I was young and performing music in front of a crowd or giving a speach most people comment on how confident and calm I was even though I felt like was was white as a sheet and shaking.

I'm not sure if this is an inability to express what I feel or more that I internalise everything. I think it is probably the later. I have noticed lately though that things are spilling out in a rather uncontrolled way - like yelling or punching a wall in frustration.

Wow.  I think we have had very similar experiences and grew into very similar people.  It's almost eerie.