work

[born2learn]

Did anyone find a good job? I seem to find job with people just talk about me, question me, and make me feel like a little ant.  I dont know how i can run from one job to another. I dont even know if anyone willing to accept me.  Waiting to find money for surgery is hard when you got people pull you back and make you feel like nothing.

[Robyn]

Morning. Born...

My situation is a bit different from what yours seems to be, and I'm a lot older than you, but perhaps I can offer hope, at least.

I transitioned on the job after I had semi-retired.  There was a little bit of consternation on the part of a couple of younger team members over the bathroom situation which I solved by using a different floor until I had surgery.  Besides, our HR department told them to just "deal with it."  My Navy client and his staff took the change as no big deal.  In fact, they called me out of retirement a year ago, gave me a big raise, and made me project manager again.  I see the light at the end of the tunnel, though, and expect to retire again by summer's end.

What I think I can offer from my experience is two-fold:

1)  If you have a needed skill to offer to a company that's shorthanded, they should be more accepting of diversity.  Even better if their Equal Employment Opportunity policy includes 'gender identity or expression' or at least 'sexual orientation.'  You and I know we shouldn't be lumped under sexual orientation because we're TG/TS/IS, but many others don't.

2)  Work with HR/personnel to map out a transition plan.  If the company makes it clear that it supports you and that no harassment will be accepted, you're that much closer to home free.  Then you just have to be the best, most productive employee in your working area.   My company used Transsexual Workers: An Employer's Guide (Paperback) by Janis Walworth.  Janis has since written a second employment book called Working with a Transsexual: A Guide for Coworkers.

There are also things you need to know about Social Security.  You can change your name with SSA by sending in your court order.  One can no longer change the gender marker without proof of SRS.  So if you apply for work as a female before SRS and SSA gender marker change, SSA will eventually out you to your employer when they verify records.  So be careful.

Best of luck, young lady.

[born2learn]

Thanks you very much for your help. You have been very helpful. I guess the only way is to work my way to SRS. I wonder if you also have problem about someone just cant tell which gender you are from different angle. Oh well, i guess it just me. Anyway thanks for your help.

[Robyn]

As your body changes, your attitude, changees, and your confidences becomes greater, people probably won't have any problems recognizing your gender.  My only problem arises occasionaly on the phone.  If someone calls me sir, I say, "Actually, it's ma'am," and keep on talking.

[born2learn]

I cant wait to change my body. I got no problem on the phone. I do have problem when they see my ID and I'm short so that even worst. It's funny I was in military they always got my record wrong. For some reason they always have me as male. Before any treatment i have the half look. Give me to believe that something may happen to me during birth process but no way i can prove it.
Your voice didnt change?

[Robyn]

Whereas testosterone thickens an FTM's vocal chords and, therefore, lowers the pitch rsther quickly, estrogen doesn't thin an MTF's vocal chords.  So estrogen doesn't change one's voice.  My voice is about 3 notes higher, but it has to do with some change I made to the airpath, i don't know what.  Probably that I am talking higher up in my throat and mouth and not from down in my chest.

[taylor]

Born,

No one could tell what I was from different angles either. And you may be right, you may have some other biological issues that are going on that you don't know about. I had  those issues and it is not too uncommon.  But I still had to live as a girl until this stuff was finally dealt with when I was in my  mid twenties. 

I could not keep a job either. I worked mostly labor jobs, and seldom kept one for very long. I was also homeless many times.  I think I can relate to what your going through.

Today I live a very productive life, am married to a wonderful woman, have a college degree, have worked as a Sociologist, Special Education Teacher, and Social Worker. But I did not get here going down a easy path at all!  I transitioned 15 yrs ago, and have never had to go back to that nightmare, and I am very grateful and never forget where I came from. If I can get here anyone can, believe me! People had bets on me that I would be dead at the age of 18 I was so wreckless.

You have come to a good place for support, and no you are not alone bro!  Hang in there!

[born2learn]

Hey Taylor,

    Thanks for your support. You have been through a lot. I like your picture :p nice boat! Yeap im going to keep looking for job to pay of my debt, fee , and save money for surgery. I been working hard to find ways to plan ahead . My road is not easy but I guess god and lots of luck have help me a bit. Everyone here give me lots of good idea and support. That help a lot

[taylor]

Hey Born,

You can do it man I have no doubt, you got a God and you got some luck, the rest falls in place brother!

What kind of work are you doing or wanting to do?? 

Peace,

Taylor

[born2learn]

Hey Taylor,

   Well, I want to work in electronic tech. Maybe one day be an electronic engineer or electronic research. I also wanted to study websign as well, maybe making that as my side job. Sure like to be my own boss to spend time with my love one. Right now im just going around doing minor retail job

[taylor]

Born,

Your goals are very realistic! 

Have you ever been diagnosed with a disability of any sort? If so,  (You dont need to share that private info in here) but if you have, and you have doctors, records, for proof, then you can qualify for Vocational Rehabilitation Services in your county.  They can assist you in technical school training, they pay tuition, books, they can also help with transportation under certian situations ( depending on how far you are from the training site). They can help with clothing every so often, and if you need tools for the trade you are training in, they purchase them for you,, etc. They even help in some cases pay medication scripts.


If you have a diagnosed physical or mental health disability or a combination of them, this is a huge resource! And you have some rights. I must tell you, that it depends on their budget ( starts over in July), the actual counselor you get, to what you actually get help with. BUT it is really worth a shot.  If you don't have a disability of any sort, here are a few ideas:

1. Find a company that trains on the job for electronic tech work. ( they often train their own people, and then you work and go to classes at the same time, paid by them) And you get hands on training and work hours that apply towards certification.

2. Apply for a Pell Grant and other Federal Grants and go to a V Tech school, work a part time job that will allow you to meet your school hours. ( I personally delivered pizza a LOT! lol)

Note: When you check out the school, do not assume that when they say they are "credited" that it means that they are normal credited there are some schools that are credited in a way that does not transfer to real colleges/universities/ or certification for licensing. It is often wise to attend community colleges that offer tech courses. Please select carefully. Anything "state funded" is good.

Most college students are broke, and it is a real struggle to get through and get the certification/degree that you desire. But it is a huge step to accomplish, and use your faith you can pull this off. It is also worth every bit of the effort, to get the technical skills that you desire. It is scary to take that first step, but it is well worth it.

Are you tied to the area that you live in?  Can you relocate if there is opportunities elswhere for you to work in this field?  A few things to consider as well.  Web search for programs that are offered by companies that will train you on the job, and you may come up with a perfect match.  There are independant owners that need reliable labor workers for doing commercial electrical work, such as just putting in jacks etc. to get your foot in the door.

Feel free to email me anytime, and just hang in there!

Peace,

Taylor

[born2learn]

Taylor,

   I dont have disability. I'm a college student. I already gotten a 2 year college degree in art and return to take electronic degree. My only problem is money other then that I can do anything. I work to pay for most bill. I'm trying my best. Just like my teacher always told me.. sometime you can beat the bear and sometime the can bear eat you. Right now the bear is eating me piece by piece lol... I'm just waiting for the day i can beat that bear. lol... what can i say .. you win some you lose some

[taylor]

Hey Born,

I was only suggesting these ideas in the event you may have had a disability and did not know about these services. So many people struggle and don't know that this type of help is out there. I am glad you don't have a disability to deal with on top of everything else!

Well having two years of college out of the way has got to feel good! I remember my first year of college and I got this student job working in stage design.  We spent the entire first year building the props and preparing for the NYC Ballet to have their performance there. It was isane fun!  After we were done we had all these pieces of props, wood, etc. that were scraps, Andre, the dude that was my boss let me take some home, and turn it into furniture for my apartment!  Good thing cause I was so broke I really did not have any furniture.  Nothing like a big circle peace of wood fastened to a oxygon shaped base, spray painted in maroon on top and a brownish gold on the base, for a coffee table! lol

I rented my apartment from a professor I had. He figured out that I was crashing on a friends couch  and was pretty much homeless and going to classes lol....I was fricken determined dude! But I stayed in that apartment for a few years, and loved it. That is were you catch one those breaks with that bear your talking about!  I paid rent based on my income as a student worker for like two years. Thank God! Whenever I am up in that area visiting friends I drive down that little street and see the neighborhood, it is cool to look back at times. 

Peace,

Taylor

[born2learn]

Hey Taylor,

   That's cool you make your own furniture. Seem like you have a great time in college. Its always great to remember the good time in our past. Its like seeing how much we all have been through in life as well as building ourself to be a better person.

born

[taylor]

Hey Born,

You know looking back, it is kind of cool. I am not allowed to make furniture for the house these days, the wife doesn't go for it lol....but back in the bachelor days it was a blast!

I never thought I would finish college, man that last semester seemed like it dragged on forever, so much so I still remember it lol

Peace,

Taylor

[born2learn]

Sometime I just wish life was simple and people can work in a better work place where we focus on getting the job done and not on spreading rumor, make fun of other, and mistreat or judge people by the way they are. What happen to try to understand other people. Like the saying " You never know someone untill u walk in their footstep." and " Treat other as you like to be treated."

[Chynna]

Hello born2learn,

I have a more realistic outlook on employment, Being someone who see Discrimination on a regular basis.

ON-THE JOB
I found that no manner what kind of EO (equal oppurtinity) laws are in your area or in the company handbook if an employer (usually manager,supervisor, HR rep) has a problem with gays, transgender people, they will find some logical loop hole to either terminate you or not offer the job for whatever "logical" reason they want to. Thats the cold hard truth of it..the only thing you can really do to "fight back" or protect yourself is KNOW everything you can on policy, procedure, and your employee handbook like your life depended on it because your income does!
Knowledge is Empowerment & no matter how much a person discriminates against you. If you know & can quote a procedures and policy and have adhered to them. They can't do anything to you.
SO Shall it be written...So shall it be done!
This also CYA's yourself because the more times this individuals come at you or trys to make an issue out of something you did. The more documentation you have to support a discrimination claim.
After a while this type of individual will more than likely this type of narrow mind az is lazy and will give up and coming to the enivitable conclusion that they cant get rid of you or its way to hard to bother.

APPLYING FOR EMPLOYMENT
this ones a bit more difficult to accomplish or deal with. 2 ways you can go about it.
1. Play the part for the interview and once you get the job refer to the above. This of course makes you sacrifice who you are for a brief period of time but you have to way the pros & con within that one for yourself.
2. Have no doubt in your mind who and what you are. If you give off the personna or demenor of the gender you identify with a lot of the time an individual can't help but to see "the gender" your portraying even if your name and ID say different! ( i find that approach wrks best for me! FYI)
3. Is find employment within the gay\transgender community.
As in a non-profit GLBT organization or a store or shop that is owned by such an individual, located within the community, or caters to our community.
4. There are employment resources out there for transgender\gay individuals.
Canada:
http://www.actoronto.org/website/referrals.nsf/pages/0861
This one is actually pretty cool check it out.
USA:
http://www.gayjob.biz/index.cfm

Sorry that all I had time to look up im at work! LOL

what ever the case just know it's not an easy path but remember "Stay the course!"

To love is to accomplish a great many things
Chynna

[born2learn]

Thanks Chynna,

    Wow, That's a great research and you did all that during work too.  Ofcourse I will focus and continue on my track. You got to go forward and never go backward. Just like you always grow older not younger 

[Chynna]

Anytime!

Just don't tell my boss!
It's funny now that I think of it
I myself might be discrimenatory!?
When I have an open position to fill in one of my departments I will consider hiring a Gay or Transgendered person before a "normal" heterosexual (you get the picture) individual. Not as a sole basis for employment but if I had 2 individuals with the exact same qualifications I would offer it to the Transgender or Gay individual first...mmmm does that make me wrong?


Chynna

[Rana]

No Chynna I don't think so,

After all you have to work with people you hire - they have to work with you,  it makes sense if that is made as easy as possible, ie have stuff in common, can understand each others outlooks and attitudes

Now this is not politically correct - but its realistic

Rana

PS goes without saying that the best person 4 job is chosen & situation only arises where there are contenders very similar