Therapy?

[4years]

Soo, what is therapy normally like anyway ?

I get to do this soon so I'm starting to get curious of what I should ask and such like.

Obviously I should bring up any issues bothering me, but is there anything else in particular I should mention?

By and large I'm really only going (make that plan too, as soon as I can afford anyway) to appease the requirements. I don't *feel* as though I need any therapy. ... I wonder how common that is.

Anyway, commentary welcome

[LostInTime]

Just go in and be open and honest with the therapist (and yourself).  My therapist started with how long I had felt this way, any abuse, what was it like growing up, whether or not I used drugs, etc, etc.  After the first few it felt more like chatting with a friend about what had happened recently.   YMMV.

[AmyNYC]

Hi 4years,

In my opinion, therapy for the transgendered is a very important part of transition, but unfortunately I don't think every therapist is right for the job.  I was lucky enough to pick one out of the yellow pages that every transsexual in NYC swears by.  But I've heard stories of therapists denying the diagnoses of Gender Dysphoria, and subsequently HRT, because of such silly things as not coming in femme to the sessions.  My therapist didn't see me as Amy until 9 months after approving me for hormones.  And the version of Amy she saw then, and still sees most of the time now, was T-shirt & jeans.  They shouldn't be trying to diagnose you by the way you look, but how you think.  As LostInTime said, "just be open & honest."  As you can imagine, they should cover the basics of your life, including all areas invloving your dysphoria pretty quickly... how long have you felt this way, relationships, parental relationships, etc.

By and large I'm really only going (make that plan too, as soon as I can afford anyway) to appease the requirements. I don't *feel* as though I need any therapy. ... I wonder how common that is.

That's the kind of attitude which made it a requirement by law.  I felt this way at the beginning of my transition as well.  Now I look forward to going to see my therapist, which unfortunately, because of money, is only every 3-4 weeks.  There's no way someone can imagine what the different stages of transition will be like.  I had no idea, and my transition has happened very different than I first planned it.  A therapist is there to just monitor the situation, and steer you back to the center of the road when needed.  If nothing else, it's great to have someone to talk to who doesn't offer their list of opinions back to you.  They just listen and play the devil's advocate.

No matter what you think at the beginning of this journey, transition can be a rollercoaster of emotions, caused by any number of situations the real world brings on.  Someone is definitely needed to monitor the ride.

Hope this helps,
Amy

[AmyNYC]

One more way to think about it...

I know everyone here would agree that the idea of self-medication of hormones is a bad one, because it is detrimental to your physical health.  That being said...

I believe the mental changes during transition to be much greater than the physical ones.  Should we take those same risks of self-medication with our mental health?

[gina_taylor]

Hi 4 years,

I agree with Lost In Time that you should go in with an open mind and be honest with your thearpist. It's always best to cover a lot of your issues, fears and consequences that you'll have to make.

I've been through three therapists, and unfortunately due to lack of understanding of transsexualism, I am no longer seeing anyone. At least I know who and what I am, and I am now taking steps of correction.

Gina

[4years]

Thank you for the comments

I whole heartily agree about being open and honest, rather pointless endeavor if not I'd imagine.

Thank you for the suggestions of questions and the thoughts

That's the kind of attitude which made it a requirement by law.

I rather expect at least some of the demographic to have this thought, but I have to think that it's the same law mentality that got us building codes, etc. Valid thought none the less, thank you Amy

One more way to think about it...

I know everyone here would agree that the idea of self-medication of hormones is a bad one, because it is detrimental to your physical health.  That being said...

I believe the mental changes during transition to be much greater than the physical ones.  Should we take those same risks of self-medication with our mental health?

A very good way to look at it indeed


Thank you one and all

[Leigh]

There is no *law* that therapy is required.

[4years]

True, but functional as a law if the only available providers follow the SOC and hence require therapist note.

[Terri-Gene]

 "By and large I'm really only going (make that plan too, as soon as I can afford anyway) to appease the requirements. I don't *feel* as though I need any therapy. ... I wonder how common that is."

From what I gather, I would say all to very common 4years. as to complete honesty as in revealing things the therapyst isn't seeing or asking about, have caution.  We all have things we bottle up and some of these really are seperate issues and should be delt with, but dealing with them at this stage can seriously slow up or retard your initial investigation into GID, though some of it may be critical to understanding your present.  Its just something you have to work out and if other problems really are serious, very hard to keep out of sight to one who knows his job, and will attract his curiosity.

As to the attitude expressed in the above quote, it is not likely you will come to many useful realizations during the process, but I can sympathise with it.  Personally, I have always found more personal meaning by discussing the same things with people who have been where I am at and beyond and I feel comfortable talking with.  You can accomplish a lot in simple conversation with the right people.  Fact is though, I have a deep resentment of the professionals and it is hard for me to establish the proper relationship with them.  My problem, not necessarily theirs.  It is simply a matter of their tactics in the past.

As to actually needing them beyond their acknowledgement of the problem, it's mixed.  As I said, if you have the right friends, you can arrive at the same things for the most part.  that said, a good solid relationship with them can be invaluable if you decide you need to take it all the way and need paperwork from them.  Even if they recommend HRT, they may want to withold or further investigate before doing so if you have not kept regular appointments, or they feel you have evaded them.  These do not have to be all that frequent.  Assuming you are a fairly stable person, at least in respect to being able to deal with most problems and function in society, you may not need to go in for sessions more then every couple of months or so.  remember though, you only get out what you are willing to put in.

Good luck with it all

Terri

[4years]

*nods twice*
That is rather what I gather as well.

My only real complaint is most people have not been looking inside for as long as I have.
I have a pretty decent idea of what ails me, and I'm well aware I've been looking at the forest so long I no longer see the majority of the trees, so to speak.

Or in fewer words, I'm not opposed to trying.
I'm actually quite fond of psychoanalysis and the like, I've long found it a very fascinating topic.

Anyway, it should be interesting.
Thank you for your comment Terri.

[4years]

All right, my first experience with professional therapy leads me to believe...

Therapy good.

The problem with self-therapy is sometimes (or often depending) we misattribute things, or more commonly overlook things.

Well, I've overlooked a few things. Oh well. This is going to be one heck of a ride

[Jessica]

I have been in therapy for awhile but I was in therapy for Depression and it wasn't until I trusted my therapist before I revealed my gender issues, that alone took 2 months or so.  Then he diagnosed me with GID and got rid of me as fast as possible telling me he didn't know anything about this and he passed me off to someone who has some experience with this.  I have yet to see a therapist specifically for GID, my first appointment is this coming Tuesday.

I think I definately need Therapy.  My best friend (my wife) is firmly convinced I am possessed by a demon and she has just about all of her friends praying for me.  I agreed to go to a 'Christian Marriage Counseling' session with her, to a counselor of her choosing last night.  We haven't made an appointment yet, but I figure the worst they can do is tell me what an evil person I am, and I think I am quickly reaching the point where I don't care anymore.  I'm not sure if it's a hopelessness or an acceptance yet.  Anyway, I am going to be in two therapies.
The first for gender dysphora
The second for christian marital counseling

So far, I have found therapy mostly useless

[nicole_dianelle]

was wondering...as long as u are under going HRT u are require to see a shrink until ur SRS? am i correct or did i miss my mark?
and how long does one wait until they give them the thump up for SRS?

[4years]

The SOC states, "Two Letters are Generally Required for Genital Surgery." However it tends to vary between surgeons and places.

As an example, excerpted from, PAI's requirements (Dr. Preecha)

• Patient must be at least age 18 years of age. Patients will require permission from parents if under 20 years old.
• Patients must be diagnosed with at least one of the following disorders:gender identity disorder, gender dysphoria, or associated conditions.
• Patients must have undergone at least one year of antiandrogens or/and female hormones.
• Patients are required to have lived full-time in the cross-gender role for at least 1 year (supported by Identification Documents).
• Patients must have approval from a psychiatrist (MD), psychiatric social worker (PhD), or clinical psychologist (PhD).

Duration of therapy varies as far as I know, I believe the general concusses is when both parties feel therapy is no longer needed. I am not absolutely certain of that however.

As Jessica mentioned, therapy for the wrong reasons or with the wrong person is basically worthless. With the correct person and correct reasons it is generally beneficial at worst and can be greatly beneficial.

[nicole_dianelle]

there is nothing the shrink can tell me that i already don't know about myself and i ben a tv for little over a year now. but thanks that is a great help for me. at less i know what is to be expected of me.

[4years]

Sometimes it is different wording of a subject we already know. That made me look at the topic a little bit differently and that made all the difference. I'm still not convinced my therapist is 100% correct but I'll dance. He's fun to chat with if nothing else.