The Tree of Knowledge

[Alyssa M.]

My therapist proposed the notion that we have "bitten the gender apple," and are thus, unlike cisgendered people, painfully aware of our gender.

In another thread, Maebh proposed the following ...

Following on Nichole and Pennyjane post a thought occured to me: If tomorrow a magic pill could "cure me" from being who I am and who I feel I am so as to make me "normal" would I take it?

When I was younger, confused and wanting to fit in, I might have, but today I can say that I wouldn't.
At this stage of my journey my TGism is not a curse anymore, on a contrary I can now see it as blessing. It has given me so much...

As a result, the following song has been stuck in my head all day:

Adam lay ybounden,
Bounden in a bond;
Four thousand winter
Thought he not too long.

And all was for an apple,
An apple that he took,
As clerkès finden
Written in their book.

Né had the apple taken been
The apple taken been,
Né had never our lady
Abeen heavené queen.

Blessèd be the time
That apple taken was.
Therefore we moun singen
Deo Gracias!

This is an old notion in Christianity, "felix culpa," the "fortunate fall," and one that drives me nuts. It's too Panglossian: sin and death and hatred and conflict all come into the world was all worth it, that we might have the blessing of someone cleaning up the mess? And I suppose it was all worth it that Candide and company might tend their garden and discuss philosophy? Sorry, I don't buy it.

I guess it comes down to the question of what struggles and challenges in our lives are worth it, and which ones would we have been better off avoiding? And where on this scale do our struggles with gender identity fall?

These not questions that I think I can really answer. But I guess they are also ones I can't help but ask.

Thoughts?

~Alyssa

[whatsername]

Being cisgendered, but a feminist, I come at this topic from a different angle, but similar.  For myself, and other feminists I've talked to, there is a definite "apple biting" element to studying life and society from a feminist perspective.  All of the sudden you cannot help but to see the gender issues, the sexism, the misogyny underlying so much of life...  At times I have wished I could just "turn it off" again, to enjoy this movie, or this book, or just so I wasn't so painfully aware of whatever thing had come up at the time.

But would I go back?

I've asked myself that quite a few times.  And for me, the answer is always a resounding HELL NO.  It is worth it for me.

Of course, it is easier to hide my feminism from the masses than it is for many trans people to, and I haven't heard of a feminist being killed for her hairy legs or big mouth (personal examples  of my feminist outward expression lol), so the two examples don't run totally parallel...but, yah.  That's mine.

Great topic, btw.