18 year old son/daughter just committed suicide :(

[aisha]

if we could all just listen a little bit more

[yabby]

i am extremely sorry for what happened to your daughter Kimmysmom, my sincere condolences

[Kimmysmom]

Wow...I appreciate all the support and love.  I'm sure Kimmy does also!  God Bless you all!  BTW...I have received some very "specific" messages/confirmations from my son through a medium already.   

[PolarBear]

Dear Kimmysmom,

I'm very sorry for your loss. It is a great loss you and yours have suffered. I can only hope that you are able to find comfort with the people around you.


Vincent.

[randi1214]

When I was repressing my gender problems I was terribly depressed.  Everyone tells me I'm Bipolar.  I don't think I'm that bad, but maybe.  I used to come up with the strangest reasons why I needed to end my life.  Now that I'm not repressing much; I'm still moody, often still depressed, and sometimes pretty nilist.  My point is it's pretty hard to help us.  My wife was going nuts when I was suicidal and she wanted to know what she could do to help.  I've thought about it for years and I'm very bright.  To this day I can't tell you what would help.  Listening maybe, but it almost has to be someone who is going through exactly what you are suffering before you can want to listen. 

I was dealing with an issue this week and these guys were giving me all these platitudes and telling me everything was fine It did nothing for me.  First of all I didn't think they were really listening to me.  The kind of listening that is not waiting to respond, but the one that wants to understand how I feel before they say anything.   And then say what they think very slowly.  Until I think you can see through my eyes I don't trust your words.  This is very hard to do.

I hope you know mortality is not the end.  He has a very caring Father in Heaven and things will work out fine. This is just a stop over, and your paths are linked eternally.  You're his Mom always will be.

Randi

[Call Me Joe]

That's so sad. I'm an FTM myself (the mirror of your son), and I'm not so honest with my parents, either. I remember going through countless 'rough patches' where having a parent would have helped a TON.

I told one of my parents once, and it turned out to be the opposite of supportive. I told my stepmom, and she thought I wasn't that serious about it. She said she was supportive, and I'm sure she's trying to be, but her ignorance really drags me down. So I'm back to square one on that deal.

It's a huge thing to come out to your parents. Be glad Kimmy got that far on his own; you raised a fine kid. If I have a suggestion, if you retell your tale to other parents, tell them to be so supportive that they're embarrassingly, flamingly supportive beyond good reason. It's a thousand times easier to get flustered with a parent who's being oversupportive and embarrasing than a parent who's being undersupportive and hurting you where it hurts the most.

[NDelible Gurl]

I am very sorry to hear about your loss. Suicide is a horrible tragedy. It leaves so many unanswered questions and self-doubts. My family has been touched by this and many of us are left with- why? In our case it wasn't an obvious issue. I still don't know why it happened but we are moving on one day at a time. I feel the departed will want to know you are taking care of yourself and find comfort in that.

My heart goes out to you. {{{hugs}}}

[Stevie Stevens]

I just read through all of these comments. By the time I was 18 I thought my dad was going to kill me because of my transgender activities. I was already depressed and that just made it much worse. I could have done something drastic, but my mom and older sisters got me through it.

When I was 24, my dad died of an illness. Even after all of his feelings against me, I still felt very bad that that happened. And the fact that my female relatives got me through the tough times made me feel even more that I needed to be part of the feminine world and not any sort of manly world.