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I talked with my ex-wife

Started by stephanie, August 02, 2005, 06:52:00 PM

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stephanie

A few nights ago I talked with my ex-wife about my gender identity issues.  At first she thought I was joking around but once she realized I was serious, she was very supportive.  I was surprised by how much she knew about the processes involved in sex reassignment; we never really talked about this while we were married.  As we were saying goodnight, she told me that I can talk to her any time about anything.  She has always been that kind of person.

I'm still trying to line up a therapist, but at least I know there's someone in my social circle that knows and accepts what I'm experiencing.  It was a great relief.
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stephanie_craxford

Quote from: stephanie on August 02, 2005, 06:52:00 PM
A few nights ago I talked with my ex-wife about my gender identity issues. At first she thought I was joking around but once she realized I was serious, she was very supportive. I was surprised by how much she knew about the processes involved in sex reassignment; we never really talked about this while we were married. As we were saying goodnight, she told me that I can talk to her any time about anything. She has always been that kind of person.

I'm still trying to line up a therapist, but at least I know there's someone in my social circle that knows and accepts what I'm experiencing. It was a great relief.


Hello stephanie,

It's always comforting and a relief to know that there is a friendy supportive ear out there you can turn to, one who you can actually talk to, who will listen and not judge, even if it's your ex  :)   The trans world is becoming more "out there" these days, with the many TV show about the subject.  Many have an idea about it, but there are lots who don't know the "why's", even many of us transsexuals don't know why they are like they are.

Once you have lined up a therapist you should be able to add him/her to your list of supportive people, add them to your friends here, and before you know it you have a whole crowd of friendly supportive people.  Trying to tackle your issues alone is very daunting and can lead to failure but having a support network you can depend on and turn to in times of need can often relieve the stress and pressures of the journey, not get rid of them, but at least relieve them...

Take care and good luck in your seach for a therapist.

Keep us posted,

Steph
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Kimberly

stephanie, if you are still having a problem finding a good therapist and you haven't already perhaps look at an online therapist such as Dr. Bushong. I am starting to feel guilty mentioning him all the time but I am happy with him, for what that is worth.
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beth

that is so great Stephanie! my ex is supportive too and it is a great help. good luck on finding a therapist. it sounds like you are doing well and that's wonderful







beth
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stephanie

Thanks everyone!

As far as therapists go, I don't have a problem finding one, I have a list of three in my area.  The problem I have is actually picking up the phone and making an appointment.  I'm worried about my work schedule interfering with it, since I work 9-5 every day.  I can't seem to get ahold of anyone after that time, and I don't want to call from work, in case anyone barges into my office while I'm on the phone (they have a tendency to do that, even when the door is closed, how rude!).  And I'm also just nervous.

Tonight I'm going to go walking with a friend of mine, and I'm considering telling her, since I think she's also very accepting and open-minded about most subjects (she tells me a great deal about her and her husband's sex life after all).  She would be the first person I've told face to face.

Wish me luck (again)!
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stephanie_craxford

Hey there stephanie

Talk is cheap, so talk away  :) there's nothing to loose there, just don't smother your friend with your issues, unless she asks, and you are sure she can handle them.  As far as picking up that phone, I can relate to that.  It's a very scary thing to have to do, it's almost as if you are making an admission that you have been hiding this deep dark perverted secret to a complete stranger, hey wait a second, you are  ;D ;D ;D well it's not perverted and it's not dark  :)  Don't worry about your work schedule interfering, with therapy, that's putting the cart before the horse.  Talk to the therapist and make an arrangement, after all I assume you will be paying for the therapy, so the therapist should be a little flexible.

Seriously though... Make that phone call!  People barging into your office while you are on the phone is a lame excuse don't you think.  Lock your door, put  a chair under the door handle, better yet go to a pay phone.  Just think of it as the first step that begins your journey.  It's a hard thing to do but your journey can't start without that first door being opened.

Go for it.

Steph
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Cassandra

Stephanie,

I appreciate were your coming from. I can't help but think your hesitation at the office has more to do with your apprehension about making the appointment with the therapist than being discovered making the appointment. Hey they don't know who your talking to. For all they know your making a reservation at a restaurant. Take a deep breath and make the call.

Remember even the longest journey begins with but a single step.

Good Luck and Good Journey

Cassie
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Kimberly

Something that might help to remember is the ever-popular "BABY STEPS!"... Rome was not built in a single day and other such similar thoughts, or as Cassie just said, a journey starts with but a single step.

The moral is focus on that step and take it, worry about the next another time.

This is *after* you have planed out a good, reasonable and safe course of action and you just need to act upon that plan.
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stephanie

The office thing was a pretty lame excuse, wasn't it?  I was hoping it wasn't that transparent (or was I?)

Anyway, my friend canceled on me because she's getting ready for a trip.  Oh well.  Tomorrow on my lunch break I will make that call!  I promise.

Thanks for the support (again) everyone here is just wonderful!  All I was waiting for was everyone to start chanting "do it! do it! do it!"  :)
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Shelley

Hi Stephanie,

You sound a lot more sure of yourself than your earlier posts. It does sound like it is time for you to do it. So go ahead and make that call girl.

Hugs Shelley
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