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Just whining

Started by Silver, April 08, 2010, 02:23:38 AM

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Silver

Meh, I've had a sheltered, easy life. Very much so. I never had emotional problems, really before now. The closest I got was a not-very-healthy relationship with my mother.

I'm like a fish out of water here, I get all depressed like half the time and of the other, functional, sane half a lot of my motivation seems to have been drained. I'm making too big a deal about a real problem, but really not a real problem that should affect me that much. My grades aren't the best right now, but that's probably just laziness.

I just have to suck it up. And before I do something like this that is necessary and in the end beneficial, I usually let it out a little. So that's the function this serves. I see others, others I previously looked down on and realize I have a lot to learn. And so I shall start now. Seems like I took decent length break, and pretty much stopped maturing at 13 so I'll try to stop being such an idiot. A lazy idiot, at that.

And my SO. . . where do I start? SO is male. I do like him, although I'm not really sexually attracted to him much anymore. There's this girl. . . and well, it's obvious where this is going. She's beautiful, but I've got no chance. And I've already seen her with this guy, and she knows me as female (probably not gay, and anyway I don't really fancy the idea of being part of a lesbian partnership) and on top of all that I'm not charming or by any means good with girls. Usually their odd social practices tend to confuse me, and I just don't have that kind of easygoing personality that's so good for those uncomfortable situations. Need to work on that.

Actually, on a side note, those personality-career tests always tell me I should be a programmer (combination of little social skill and perfectionism) :laugh:
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