So, I wear womens clothing...does that make me gay?

[aaronst]

I recently found out that I enjoy putting on and wearing womens clothing. I just recently tried it and found out I like the feeling of it...does this make me gay? My best friends are girls, and so far they have been supportive, even offering to let me borrow their stuff, but I just need to know. Does dressing up in girls clothes make me gay?

[Janet_Girl]

Absolutely not.  It could be a number of things from Cross dressing to Transsexual.  If you are worried about it, find a good gender therapist to explored your feelings.

[Silver]

The only thing that would make you gay is being sexually attracted to the same gender.

[tekla]

Having sex with other guys makes you gay.  Nothing else does. 

[aaronst]

Alright. Thank you. It has been bugging me. I appreciate you telling me. It is a huge load off my back

[Calistine]

Most crossdressers are actually straight.

[Hermione01]

The only thing that would make you gay is being sexually attracted to the same gender.

I agree.

Having sex with other guys makes you gay.  Nothing else does. 

You don't have to have sex with another guy to be considered gay, just having a sexual attraction to same gender as SilverFang mentioned.
There are plenty of gay virgins.

[aaronst]

Why, is there something wrong with being gay?

No, it's just my sexuality was confusing so I didn't know what I was. I've never done anything like this before

[aaronst]

No, I just I dunno. My friends were teasing me about it a bit(harmlessly but it still got me thinking) So I just starting questioning myself. Like what iif they are right, and wearing this makes me gay. Or what if it doesn't

[tekla]

You are what (or who) your doing.  Sex is one thing where reality trumps fantasy dead to rights.  You might think your are one or the other, you might lean this way or that, your attractions might go hither, dither and yon, but you never know until you go - or, as I tell my dates, hey, it's only kinky the first time.  All the dreaming of barnyard animals during your masturbation sessions does not make you a zoophile, only the actual action does.

[Hermione01]

You are what (or who) your doing.  Sex is one thing where reality trumps fantasy dead to rights.  You might think your are one or the other, you might lean this way or that, your attractions might go hither, dither and yon, but you never know until you go - or, as I tell my dates, hey, it's only kinky the first time.  All the dreaming of barnyard animals during your masturbation sessions does not make you a zoophile, only the actual action does.

That's not true. A man that fantasies about children, is a pedophile, even if he doesn't act upon it. It's against the law and nature, and so is beastuality.
These types of over generalizing is often a knee jerk reaction when a guy fantasies about the same sex. He thinks if he never acts on those impulses, technically he's not gay. Wrong.


And to the op, dressing in women's clothes doesn't make one gay, but if you're fantasizing about other guys, well that does. Clothes do not represent your sexuality.

[Deanna_Renee]

aaronst,

I fought with that line of thinking for years. Out of my own ignorance, I secretly thought that since I wore women's clothes that I had to be gay, but I knew that I was not gay. This left me with a big hole for many years. I was of the belief that cross-dressers were transvestites and drag-queens and that transvestites and drag-queens were some form of gay men. (I now know better, I don't mean to offend anyone, it was just my ignorance at the time.) So, since I knew I wasn't gay, that meant I wasn't a transvestite or a drag-queen but it didn't explain why I felt the need to wear women's clothes. It also never explained why I always felt that I wanted to be a girl, or that I should have been a girl. Well, I finally found my answer a little over a year ago. I'm transsexual.

I'm not gay (well maybe lesbian). I'm transsexual, and I'm okay with that.

I'm also not saying that since you like to cross-dress you must be transsexual. Not at all. There are a lot of reasons men wear women's clothes - it could just be as simple as you love the feel of the clothes. As Janet suggested, if it is something that is concerning you (and I'm assuming coming here and asking, it concerns you) then maybe seeking a therapist to help you sort out these feelings, urges, whatevers.

And vexing, there is nothing wrong with being gay, if you are gay. There is a problem with being homophobic. I'm not homophobic. Jury is still out on the gay part. Not sexually attracted at all to men (sorry guys). At least not at this point.

Deanna

[Alyx.]

No, it makes you a lumberjack. Have some lumberjack pride, man!

No, cross dressing does not make you gay. In fact, in and of itself, I'm not sure it makes you anything...

[Deanna_Renee]

I'm well aware of that; I was asking Aaronst the question, not you.

just thought I'd give an answer - it just seemed to be hanging there looking for some attention.

@ Heartwood - so that is what I've been doing wrong all these years. Should be cuttin trees? Darn

[Alyx.]

just thought I'd give an answer - it just seemed to be hanging there looking for some attention.

@ Heartwood - so that is what I've been doing wrong all these years. Should be cuttin trees? Darn

Well, obviously.

Monty Python humor is always a good guide by which to live your life.

[LordKAT]

No, it makes you a lumberjack. Have some lumberjack pride, man!

No, cross dressing does not make you gay. In fact, in and of itself, I'm not sure it makes you anything...

except a non-nudist?

[Deanna_Renee]

except a non-nudist?

Well, KAT, being a nudist would negatively impact the effect of being a cross-dresser, too. Imagine how hard it would be to distinguish between a male and female towel? I suppose pink vs. blue.

Apologies to the OP for taking his very serious question and derailing it. We mean no disrespect, some of us just tend to laugh about ourselves and have fun (once in a while). I hope you are able to find some answers here, there are a lot of people in a lot of different boats, some may look a lot like yours. Best of luck aaronst.

[PhSensei]

Your question is something that all of us ponder at some point.  Because we slip into female clothes and feel good we question our maculinity and our sexuality.  Its a normal part of discover.  The clothes you wear don't define you, its what's inside that defines you.

I had the same questions and I spent about 30 years beating myself up and trying to sort this out.  Fortunatly there are sites like this that can help you see that you aren't alone.

Also, its entirely possible to be a hetero crossdresser and meet women that accept and encourage you to be you.  I'm married and my wife love and encourages my CD side.  Its just part of our life together.

[aaronst]

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate it. Now if only I could get some pretty underwear or something. I can't really go into anywhere and buy it, without looking weird.

[PhSensei]

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate it. Now if only I could get some pretty underwear or something. I can't really go into anywhere and buy it, without looking weird.

Fredericks.com is a good place to start.  Also check out the online stores for Macy's etc too.

Confide in a female friend who can take you shopping works good too!.

Good luck!