My mom

[angiejuly]

 It is so hard lately. I know why I felt that releving feeling when my mom died. I was constantly told everything I think, want, and am is wrong. Little boys dont do that. Her frustration got so bad she would grab me by the sides of my head by the hair and shake me and screem at me for not being boy enough. She took me to a theripist to see why I am always playing with girls and acting like one. He said I dont spend enough time with my >-bleeped-< dad and other boys so I never learned how to be one. Then the cub scouts, boys only activities, boy scout camp, I was not allowed around girls at all.
I think her miniscule little christian brain could not handle her son being on of those freaks. So her torcher on me turned me into a violent freak just like her. ( not no more I`m harmless now)

Anyone relate so I dont have to feel alone? I no want sympathy just stories.
Aloha, Ang.

[justmeinoz]

I copped a little of that from my father, but nothing like you did. So all I can say is she probably felt she had tried her best, unfortunately it just wasn't very helpful.
Karen.

[angiejuly]

ya! But wile that brain tumor was taking her I was very loving and helpful. The past did not matter . I did love her and showed her that I just felt nothing when she past. Part of me wanted it and most of me wanted the suffering to end.

It left me letting me kids do, be, and think anything harmless they want. ( I don`t hate christans either)

[-CRaSH-]

It is so hard lately. I know why I felt that releving feeling when my mom died. I was constantly told everything I think, want, and am is wrong. Little boys dont do that. Her frustration got so bad she would grab me by the sides of my head by the hair and shake me and screem at me for not being boy enough. She took me to a theripist to see why I am always playing with girls and acting like one. He said I dont spend enough time with my >-bleeped-< dad and other boys so I never learned how to be one. Then the cub scouts, boys only activities, boy scout camp, I was not allowed around girls at all.
I think her miniscule little christian brain could not handle her son being on of those freaks. So her torcher on me turned me into a violent freak just like her. ( not no more I`m harmless now)

Anyone relate so I dont have to feel alone? I no want sympathy just stories.
Aloha, Ang.

I'm curious Ang. What do you have against Christians? I'm Christian, and I'm not like that.

[angiejuly]

I'm curious Ang. What do you have against Christians? I'm Christian, and I'm not like that.

Nothing! I hate people been missled. The missled are just that. However many  religious ( who deal in absolutes) Love to think they are above other people, species, and matter through a group psycosis. When someone thinks truth it can be agreed with but If the originator is insane than everyone agreeing does not make it truth. It makes it group insanity. Charles Manson , Adalf Hitler, would be our extreems, organized religions can be a lot nicer about there servitude over you and your mind. It is getting hard these days to find real christans anymore. Everybody seems to say they take what they can to believe to be truth and dump the rest as garbage. That is people seeing through the false metaphores and finding the truth. I am seeing a rainbow effect in peoples beliefs. That is people finding there true individuals and becoming in cantact with it. When that happens. You see the truth in things and it becomes very easy to dump the garbage .  The thought of believing what doesn`t feel right gives us anxiety.
Being in touch with the individual is what "God" is. You cannot touch anything else . It is impossible. You can only touch the minds perception of what you think is out there. This makes the possibilities endless. Those who know this started organized religions based on a rainbow of truths and lies to keep you from seeing it. With this you could send out military ,( later missionaries) to take control of all civilizations that might know about it as well. Take them over , rape the woman, kill the grown men and all who might know anything at all, brainwash the new civilization to think a certain way. The energy they put out puts those who took them in control  at the top. (There families own banks now). They still have control of your energy. Central Americans love to call themselves latin..?? Don`t they know what the latins came and did there? I see latin pride as an insult to the ancient Mayans, Aztecs, ect. My wife is Gautamalin and agrees. Latin pride is nothing more than  europian totaliterian pride. The philipinos I hang out with hate the anciant latins still to this day. ( that was a long time ago)

   From here I could go into propaganda, energy (- and +) , balance, universe,  but everyone knows this and most seem to be refusing to look at it. I do not hate anybody till they personaly really do something bad to me. I hope I have clearified myself. I try to stay in pitty and love though. Being human seems to get in the way sometimes..
I really do love you all though. ............. Sorry to offend   

 

[RN1814]

Keep ur head up

[bojangles]

Anyone relate so I dont have to feel alone?

Yes.

I'm not going to talk about it in a public forum, but you are welcome to e-mail me.

[Dominatrix ♥]

Wow. my mom dont know how i feel in the inside or atlest i think she dosnt know.
i do hangout with girls most of the time i got over 90 girls numbers in my phone and about 20 boys?
well idk sometimes i feel left out, and i dont know how my mom would take it. she does descriminate lesbiann gay bi ect.. i mean not like hate cuz she has 1 gay friend but i just dont know im scared of the future and reading this maked me get more worried but what i can tell u is that your mom made all that so u wouldnt pass by hard things like descrimination and other stuff.
bt im sure that shes happy that u made a decission and your happy with yourself. [: xoxo
-Nikki





Edited age ~Seph

[sunny-side]

I haven't been through that yet but I'm afraid of something similar.  I'm already a grown adult, but I still live with my parents due to not being able to find a job that could pay enough to move out.  My parents are not only the kind of Christians you describe where they think that anything beyond heterosexual cisgendered people are wrong, but on top of that my dad is a trained professional therapist who specializes in helping people become heterosexual or cisgendered... yeah.  I'm afraid that if I were to come out about my androgyne identity that they would tell me to either seek counseling or move out.  I suppose I'm just lucky that it's something that I don't even have to try to mask, they just write me off as a tomboy and that's ok.  I'd like to be able to share what I'm learning but I just don't see that ever happening, which is sad.