Author Topic: One New Life to Live  (Read 724 times)

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Offline Laura1951

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One New Life to Live
« on: July 08, 2020, 03:48:39 pm »
Apparently, having a Master's degree still means you can be stupid. OK, uninformed.

Until now, I had no idea people were writing about their lives here in the Blog section. I should have caught on earlier, given that Danielle has been writing here forever. LOL

So, I'll be using this section to share the minutiae that doesn't fit within other areas of this site. I'll continue writing about my HRT in the HRT section, my FSS in the FFS section, and my major questions in the MTF section.

And here it goes.

Laura
One New Life to Live (My personal blog)

Laura's HRT Journal     |     Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2020, 04:22:03 pm »
Below I've linked to the the major threads I've created

My HRT Journal
Currently, I post once a month on the anniversary of starting HRT. My avatar is updated each month as well.

 My FFS Journey
Posted less frequently, my FFS is currently postponed due to COVID. As conditions change, my FFS journey will be chronicled here

 Should I Stay or Should I Go?
The difficult decision to pick up stakes and move to a new city, including advice from different perspectives.

 Is Facebook Outing Me?
What happens when Facebook’s algorithms connect your dead name and new name’s profiles. A cautionary tale.
One New Life to Live (My personal blog)

Laura's HRT Journal     |     Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Offline davina61

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #2 on: July 08, 2020, 04:38:05 pm »
Welcome to the life and times page!!!
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever

Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2020, 06:54:06 pm »
I want to chronicle something that’s been haunting me the past few weeks, if not the last six months, and while I really don’t want anyone to respond to this post, I simply need to put this pain down in text.

Since retirement six years ago, and the subsequent explosion of my second marriage and the following, three-year divorce process, my favorite hobbies have been playing tennis, flying, and reading, pretty much in that order. I’m not a particularly good player, average at best, but for someone with ADD who has difficulty making friends, it provides me both the exercise I need and the social contact my soul thrives for. I really do like and value the people I’m with. One of women I regularly play with was the first person I’ve come out to a year ago.

Since late December, I’ve experienced a variety of physical problems (knee and back pain) that have cut back on my tennis playing as I navigated the physical therapy to get better. Getting old is a bitch, but I’ve had knee pain before and I know the steps to reduce the swelling and eliminate the pain. It always takes a few weeks without stressing my knee, which means little or no tennis, but you gotta do what you gotta do.It’s frustrating though.

I really enjoy the people I’m privileged to play with, particularly since they’re all much better players. They never say, but I always know, that I’m the weakest player in a foursome. That hasn’t really mattered to me until recently as I’ve been dealing with pain recovery while still trying to play. The feelings that I’ve been disappointing the people I care about have grown quite rapidly, and hearing some of their comments, whether serious or not, about missing shots I should have gotten, has been a tipping point.

Finally, 10 days ago, I decided I really needed take a few weeks off from playing to give my knee time to heal. At the same time, my feelings that don’t belong with these better players have grown stronger. They do quite well without me, and in the 10 days past, I’ve not heard from them.

Emotionally, the past 10 days have been difficult and I’ve cried more times that I’d like. I’m not a person who reaches out when in pain, so I’m suffering this alone. My days have been filled with regular chores, reading, and Netflix. I don’t know if I’ll ever return to tennis though. I’m not sure if I can handle disappointing people I care about, so drifting off and away is how I’m handling this right now. That’s one of the reasons I created the “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” Thread. Having sisters here to talk to helps.

And so, there’s my situation. Please don’t reply.

Laura
One New Life to Live (My personal blog)

Laura's HRT Journal     |     Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Online Northern Star Girl

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #4 on: July 08, 2020, 07:01:25 pm »
@Laura1951
Dear Laura:
As you might already know from reading many of my postings and comments around the Forums I always make the suggestion to members that keeping a journal is good therapy.   Not only with our own journal/Blog threads but also I always recommend keeping a more private and personal "old-school" Pen&Paper journal at home.   

I keep personal journal at my home which is full of colorful doodling, sometimes illegible and hurried writing, snapshot photos, notes about doctors appointments, my romantic endeavors, my coming out trials and tribulations, and other writings about those that I am friends with, those that accept me, those that do not accept me, and my issues with my non-accepting parents and family, etc, etc.
 
I find that it is definitely very good personal therapy to write out my feelings and venting...  and ponder my situations in my journal.  Just writing out these things can help me to sort out my priorities and to find ways to help positively solve my issues.

I am so very glad to see that you have now started your own BLOG/journal here on the Forums.
When you report good news we will all rejoice with you and be happy for you... and when you write not-so-good news we will lend you our ears to listen and our shoulders for you to lean on.   We are your biggest fans and we are always rooting for your success and happiness.

My home journals (I have several now) are not in any kind of a fancy book and not with a clever cover...  mine are rather plain 3 ring notebooks that allows for adding pages and inserting lots of notes and scribbles and some  photos too.   
Whatever works for you is important, after-all it is YOUR JOURNAL to do with what you want.

I often find myself leafing through some of the past entrees of my BLOG/journal postings here on the Forums and my personal journals that I keep at home and will sit and read it for hours on a cold rainy night sitting in my comfy chair sometimes with a smile and laughter, sometimes with satisfaction with my decisions,  and sometimes with tears in my eyes.

NOTE:  I was pleased to also see that you were very successful with
including URL Links to some of your created threads... nicely done.


Thank you for sharing your thoughts....  I will be eagerly following your postings.
Hugs and best wishes to you....
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #5 on: July 09, 2020, 07:24:27 pm »
The following two posts could have been made in the Coming Out section, but I'm adding them here instead because they are highly personal.

Four years after Laura appeared to me and her therapist and one year after coming out to a close friend, I reached out this morning to someone I knew in my former work life. I had written the coming out letter more than a month earlier, bu it took some time to gather the nerve to send it. Coming out is difficult so starting with the low hanging fruit is never a bad strategy. It helped that my friend was gay and that he and his partner had moved from my city north more the 10 years ago. We still kept in touch and would connect at conferences a few times a year, but I've been thrilled to see both his academic and professional growth, as well as his amazing family.

Below is the letter I sent to him. I'll share his response in the following post.

Dear XXX,

Congratulations on earning your doctorate, XXX. I never cease to be impressed, and happy, when I read your FB posts and see your family in action.

I wrote this more than a month ago, but it’s taken time and courage to send it. In the spirit of Pride month, I wanted to reach out to two friends from my former work life to share something deeply personal and hope it is received with acceptance, empathy, and discretion.

Basically, I’m transgender.

This isn’t something I’ve chosen since I’m well aware of the pain and rejection many in the trans community face, as well as murder from those who are somewhat threatened by us. The level of discrimination against us seems to be increasing during the Trump administration, which doesn’t help with our dysphoria. As this point, I’ve only come out to two of my post-retirement friends and was relieved by their love and acceptance.  I’ve held this close to the vest, though, because most trans are rejected wholly, or at least in part, by their family and friends. It’s not uncommon for us to pick up and move to a new city to establish our new identity. I’m considering this option as well, given that the Human Rights Campaign gave <my city> a D- in LGBT rights. Being trans does uproot us in so many ways.

I suspected I was trans when I was 12 and dressed for a year before stopping out of shame. I had no idea there were others like me, so I buried this for the next 50 years. Four years ago, during a year I spent in therapy after my second marriage imploded, I came out to myself and to my therapist. I felt both relieved and scared at the same time.
During the following three years, I started and stopped hormone treatment at least five times, quitting out of fear of the future and purging more sets of clothes than I care to admit. Still, even when I tried to return to life as man full time, Laura (my chosen name) would peer back out after a few weeks. In the end, I accepted that I couldn’t deny my identity, so finally I began, in earnest, HRT (hormone replacement therapy) nine months ago. I had been scheduled for facial feminization surgery (FFS) last month, but COVID has postponed that until next fall or winter. FFS won’t make me a woman but for most of us, it reduces some of the effects testosterone has had on our faces. I may face a difficult decision about how I’ll live my life depending upon how successful FFS is.

Passing is the hurdle we must leap over if we want to blend into society. While some trans women throw caution to the wind and go full-time, regardless of their ability to pass, being an introvert forces me onto another path where I have plenty of company.

I am deeply in the closet, XXX, and unsure if I’ll be able to live full time at some point. For me, outing myself can only be possible if I pass and then I’m still anxious about whether I should still hide this from my family and friends from my former life. Many trans women experience the same dilemma. Currently, I live my life as a man when I’m outside but I’m Laura when inside or on occasional trips to other cities. I’m expecting to begin excursions to the coast or SF as Laura more often beginning later this summer or fall. Beginning with trans-friendly places as well as trans support groups like River City Gems will probably be the next steps into this new world I’ve embraced, but fear of rejection from my neighbors, family and friends continues to shape my view of the future, though. Still, I’m resolute about the path I’m on, so I felt the need at this point to share my story with you.

I'd appreciate your discretion.
Sincerely,
Laura, aka <deadname>
One New Life to Live (My personal blog)

Laura's HRT Journal     |     Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #6 on: July 09, 2020, 07:27:52 pm »
This afternoon, my friend wrote back in a letter I couldn't finish the first time because of tears of happiness. Below is his response.

Laura,
Thank you so much for your email. In true IT-head fashion it took me a second because I didn't recognize the name and wondered how Google's althoriums had figured out I had a doctorate and spammed me. :-)

First, let me just start by saying I love, accept, and support you in any form. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your story with me. It was deeply personal and I am honored you chose to share this story with me. You have been one of the biggest mentors in my career and have always found you to be a wise and inspiring educator and human. That will never change and if anything grew a little deeper today. Second, I know how liberating these emails can be. While our journeys are very different I can only imagine that each coming out experience while both nerve-racking is also somewhat freeing like it was for me. I know when I was coming out it was kind of like I couldn't stop telling people even though I was also saying, "don't let anyone know." The ability to just be yourself with someone is exceptionally liberating.

Please let me know if there is anything I can do to support you on your journey. I would say, step one is definitely to get out of <city name>. We left 12 years ago now and have never left back. The level of ignorance in that community is stifling. No place is perfect and there are certainly some wonderful people in <city name>, but there definitely better options for LGBTQ+ folks. About 30 minutes ago I went to my neighborhood Target and about 5 minutes into the store realized I had a giant pride t-shirt on when this older grandma told me she loved my shirt and wondered where I got it. I am pretty sure I would not have had the same reaction at the <city name> Target.

As an educator I imagine, like me, much of your hope for the future comes through hearing about and working with kids. If you run out of things to read I attached a copy of my dissertation. I don't know if you already know this, but I focused on understanding the school evaluation and selection process of 12 LGBTQ+ students at my school. Their stories were so inspiring. If you read anything read the participant vignettes and findings. You will really hear their voices there.

Take care and please keep in touch. When COVID is somewhat over I have a wonderful school for you to come visit.

One New Life to Live (My personal blog)

Laura's HRT Journal     |     Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Offline davina61

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #7 on: July 10, 2020, 02:45:01 am »
Thats nice, you have a very good friend there. When folk are true friends they accept no matter  what.
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever

Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #8 on: July 10, 2020, 07:43:46 am »
Thats nice, you have a very good friend there. When folk are true friends they accept no matter  what.
So true, @Davina. While I was a bit worried about outing myself, I felt blessed with his support. One new day at a time.

Laura
One New Life to Live (My personal blog)

Laura's HRT Journal     |     Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #9 on: July 22, 2020, 10:15:54 am »
I’ve been pondering about the two paths outlined in my Stay or Go  thread. One path would allow me to stay in my current city, in a house and neighborhood I love, and an alternate path that would take me to a city about an hour north which is much more LGBT friendly. This is certainly a difficult decision, so I’m giving myself enough time to explore both paths.

Staying would mean several things, including coming out to my neighborhood, as I’d be leaving the house more often, if not all the time, as Laura. Taking this path, were I to go full-time, would impact, and possibly remove playing tennis at the club I belong to. My best friend, the first person I came out to and a fellow player, believes that while some people at the club will be accepting, the women will largely be critical and will tend to talk behind back. Can I handle playing as Laura when I’ve played as <dead name> with these same people for many years? Can I handle being rejected by my fellow players? Will I have to stay <dead name> when playing tennis, while being Laura the rest of the time? Can I handle running into one of my tennis friends at the store when I’m Laura and they’re unaware of my transition?

All good questions, but ones I need to ponder if I want to stay. To explore this path, I’m taking @SarahC’s advice to come out to a few people at a time to test the waters. This will allow me  to take the temperature of fellow players about whether I can stay. I’ve asked my best friend for her advice about which low having fruit to start with.

Path Two would require me to sell my house and rentals and move to a more accepting city an hour away. I’ve begun to investigate this path as well, looking at current sales and new construction. I plan to drive up there today to check out a new house that has potential. I’ve also put one of my rentals on the market to free up cash for a sizable down payment, should I take this path. Important questions to consider: How will I feel about joining a new tennis club in my new city, where the tennis pro there previously was the pro at my local club? Can I make new friends as Laura? How will my new neighbors adjust/react to Laura? Will I be able to pass and blend in? My best friend questions whether I won’t pass. She thinks I look fine now and with FFS, I could hopefully reach a tipping point in my confidence about my appearance.

I won’t make a final decision for several months and might wait until after my FFS. Time, and reactions, will tell.

Laura
One New Life to Live (My personal blog)

Laura's HRT Journal     |     Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Online Northern Star Girl

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #10 on: July 22, 2020, 01:40:45 pm »
@Laura1951
Dear Laura:
So sorry for my longish reply but I felt that your situation that you described required a reply from me that was more that just a few words.

Very serious and very difficult personal decisions that you are pondering regarding how you are going to continue in your transition journey.

Obviously staying where you are now, simplifies a few things but much complicates other matters as you described.

I am aware that you had the patience and tenacity to have read all of my journal blogs and followed may path as I became full time and relocated to where I am now.   Please know that in a small very conservative town here in Alaska, full of loggers, fishermen, outdoors men, etc....  that this is not a LBBTQ friendy place by any means.   

I know it was a wise decision that I made that instead of moving up here and immediately bloldly announcing, Hi, I'm Danielle, a transgender woman (which would have went over like a lead balloon) I made a point to be seen only as a woman that was starting a small self-employed business.  I was fortunate that I was able to pass full-time without FFS or Voice Surgery.   Also I made a clean break from my old accounting job in a mid-size company the day before I decided to become full-time.  I had some contacts in an accounting CPA forum that I was involved in and found that one of the members was retiring from his business and was looking for someone to move up there to establish and replace his closing tax prep, financial planning and CPA business.   I have never been married, no children, none of those considerations and nothing holding me back.   I know that for some of our members that have those encumbrances that the decision to pick up and move is much more complicated, involved and serious considerations that have to be carefully thought about.

As you know, after a few months more than a year I was finally clocked by my Dental Hygienist, it was then I decided to make make the announcement myself about my "secret" past ... instead of the possibly vile and acerbic gossip that could have gone on if I didn't take charge of my situation.   Because I had established myself for more than a year as a business woman and was involved in civic activities and social circles... it came out much better than I ever thought.   Tied in with that is that I do not shove my transgender status in anyone' face... I dress and speak conservatively and respectfully.  The big gauntlet I was able to navigate several months before I was clocked by my Dental Hygienist that cemented my self-confidence and self-assurance as a woman was with my Gym-Gals group (of which my Dental Hygienist is in that 6 woman group with me) in the women's locker room and showers...  obviously a nerve wracking experience for any transgender person.

OH, by the way, there are no Tennis Clubs up here, but I am involved in my Gym-gals group with 5 other local women, also a Book Club with mostly women and a few men.

I wish that I had words of wisdom for you to assist you with your difficult decision that you so aptly detailed on this thread of yours.   
The final parting words that I wish to say it that you think carefully, consider all the possible relationship and financial considerations.... and don't jump into anything quickly.... slowly and carefully is my advice.

HUGS and best wishes to you. 
Danielle


I’ve been pondering about the two paths outlined in my Stay or Go  thread. One path would allow me to stay in my current city, in a house and neighborhood I love, and an alternate path that would take me to a city about an hour north which is much more LGBT friendly. This is certainly a difficult decision, so I’m giving myself enough time to explore both paths.

Staying would mean several things, including coming out to my neighborhood, as I’d be leaving the house more often, if not all the time, as Laura. Taking this path, were I to go full-time, would impact, and possibly remove playing tennis at the club I belong to. My best friend, the first person I came out to and a fellow player, believes that while some people at the club will be accepting, the women will largely be critical and will tend to talk behind back. Can I handle playing as Laura when I’ve played as <dead name> with these same people for many years? Can I handle being rejected by my fellow players? Will I have to stay <dead name> when playing tennis, while being Laura the rest of the time? Can I handle running into one of my tennis friends at the store when I’m Laura and they’re unaware of my transition?

All good questions, but ones I need to ponder if I want to stay. To explore this path, I’m taking @SarahC’s advice to come out to a few people at a time to test the waters. This will allow me  to take the temperature of fellow players about whether I can stay. I’ve asked my best friend for her advice about which low having fruit to start with.

Path Two would require me to sell my house and rentals and move to a more accepting city an hour away. I’ve begun to investigate this path as well, looking at current sales and new construction. I plan to drive up there today to check out a new house that has potential. I’ve also put one of my rentals on the market to free up cash for a sizable down payment, should I take this path. Important questions to consider: How will I feel about joining a new tennis club in my new city, where the tennis pro there previously was the pro at my local club? Can I make new friends as Laura? How will my new neighbors adjust/react to Laura? Will I be able to pass and blend in? My best friend questions whether I won’t pass. She thinks I look fine now and with FFS, I could hopefully reach a tipping point in my confidence about my appearance.

I won’t make a final decision for several months and might wait until after my FFS. Time, and reactions, will tell.

Laura

***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #11 on: July 22, 2020, 08:47:57 pm »
Getting a réponse from @Danielle is like finding you have one more oatmeal raisin cookie that you’ve forgotten about.
It’s a welcome surprise.

The last few weeks I've become more aware of the emotional effects HRT has had on me. Always somewhat sensitive, I've found myself shedding a few tears when something touches me deeply, as Danielle's response to my post did today. I know how busy she is, even though tax season is finally over, so I do appreciate the time and effort she took to write a long, supportive response. I'm currently reading Catlyn Jenner's book and plan to drive an hour north to look at some new home construction in another hour or so.

In the afternoon, I drove an hour north to a bustling suburb to tour a model home I’ve scoped out online. I was not disappointed. In fact, touring the home only made me feel more comfortable with a possible decision to move north. Yes, there are still a variety of factors to consider: friends, a wonderful current house and neighborhood, and my tennis friends, so I’ll be taking a few months to weigh both path one and path two. In the meantime, I’ve comforted that the development I’m interested in won’t be sold out for another year. I have time, should I wish to build the model I’m in love with.

   | 

Laura
One New Life to Live (My personal blog)

Laura's HRT Journal     |     Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #12 on: July 23, 2020, 07:37:35 pm »
Received a post card, addressed to <deadname>, from a local OG/GYN who was advertising her services.

Boy, perhaps this HRT thing is working better than I thought.

Laura
One New Life to Live (My personal blog)

Laura's HRT Journal     |     Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Offline davina61

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #13 on: July 24, 2020, 02:32:10 am »
sneaks upon you dear!!
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever

Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #14 on: July 27, 2020, 11:11:07 pm »
Sometime in the near future, I’ll reach a fork in the road where I’ll have to decide whether to stay in my current location or move to a new city, an hour north of here. I’ve scoped out a new house I’d build in a nice development, but so many variables cloud the path to the fork.

Everything is dependent on how I feel after my FFS, which had been scheduled for June 16th. Had COVID not reared its ugly head, I’d be mostly recovered now and ready to judge whether I’d pass sufficiently to be Laura 24/7. That elective surgeries still seem to be on hold, I’ve no idea when this life-changing event will happen. October? December? March? It’s almost too much to bear. Stay here and tough out 24/7 knowing I’ll certainly be rejected by many tennis club members, or cut all ties and start over as Laura in a new city?  Stay and be Laura part time, remaining <deadname> when playing tennis? I know from others here that once the 24/7 itch happens, being just part time becomes increasingly painful.

Adding difficulty is knowing the longer I wait to make the call, the less likely that the development I’ve chosen will have houses left to sell. Yes, there are always more developments, but the house I’ve found is the best choice at a price point I’m happy with. Houses in this new community are much more expensive than in my current city, so I’d be scaling down to 1800sf. The floor plan is wonderfully open and I know I’d be happy living there.

Still, leaving behind a city where I’ve spent nearly 2/3 of my life is a tough call and the FFS delays are making my decision all the more difficult.

Laura
One New Life to Live (My personal blog)

Laura's HRT Journal     |     Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #15 on: July 29, 2020, 10:50:47 pm »
Coming Out

Today, I've reached out, via email, to a woman who is part of a foursome I play tennis with every Friday. Person One, the first person I came out to, is a member of this foursome. I've used most of the text from my coming out letter above, but I've added a personalized opening that comes just before I tell her I'm transgender. I'll update when hear back from her.


Dear Person Four,

I have wanted to share something with you after playing tennis, but know you’re fairly busy with work so I’m taking the easy way out. Of course, Person One thinks I should tell you in person, but this takes some time to express.

For the past few months, I’ve been debating whether I need to move to <new city> in order to be myself, a decision I’ll make around December. I’ve already scouted a great house in a new subdivision and since construction hasn’t started, I have some time to decide. I’d rather stay in <current city>, though, where my friends and plane are. Having moved here in 1976, I love my house, my yard, and my neighbors.

I reach out to you because you were there for me last year when my last relationship blew up, and while it was my decision, I never told you the true reason I broke up with her. I was so appreciative you gave the gift of time and I’d like to think we’re friends. After we talked last summer, Person One and I got close after I shared my breakup story with her. It was that July when she was the first person I’ve told this to. You’re the fourth. She thinks club members, particularly women, will reject me outright and gossip behind my back, which is the primary reason I’m thinking of moving. I hope this is received with acceptance, empathy, and discretion.

One New Life to Live (My personal blog)

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Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #16 on: July 29, 2020, 11:14:05 pm »
Response from Person Four (female)

Oh my dear friend, I am so extremely touched that you feel safe to tell me this!!  Honestly, this information didn't make me react in any other way aside from feeling love for you, my dear friend.  I want to hug you so tight!!!!  I can feel your fear and pain in your email.  Quite frankly, I am very saddened because this tells me that you haven't ever been truly happy all of these years.  Oh, <deadname>, I have so many thoughts and feelings running through me and I'm trying to email you on my phone right now since I'm not home.  I wanted to respond to you as soon as I read this because I don't want you to be worrying about how I am going to respond. 

I will continue this tomorrow when I am at my computer, but just know that there is nothing you could tell me that would make me love you less.  Unless, of course, you told me you murdered someone.  That might throw a wrench in our relationship.  LOL!!

You have nothing to worry about.....this information is safe with me.

I love you!!!!!



A journey of a thousand miles is made up of many individual steps. Today I have tears of happiness knowing another friend accepts me as I am.

Laura
One New Life to Live (My personal blog)

Laura's HRT Journal     |     Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Online Northern Star Girl

  • Previously Alaskan Danielle
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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #17 on: July 30, 2020, 01:19:14 am »
@Laura1951
Dear Laura:
WOW-Whee....  that was a wonderful and certainly very affirming response from "Person 4"
I had "tears of joy" reading not only the response you received from her but also reading your very well put-together original email to her.

You conclusion is right-on so I am quoting it here.

Quote
A journey of a thousand miles is made up of many individual steps. Today I have tears of happiness knowing another friend accepts me as I am.

I am so very happy  for you..... and I am very glad that you shared this email exchange with all of us that follow your blog/thread.

Many HUGS and Best Wishes as you continue on.
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #18 on: July 30, 2020, 08:31:49 am »
@Danielle

I appreciate and value your kindness and encouragement, Danielle. This journey has been scary from the start, as it is for many/most of us. Susan's has been such a valuable support network to learn more about myself and share my journey and questions. I still feel somewhat at the beginning of my journey, but I know progress is made one step at a time.

Thank you for being an inspirational role model.

Laura
One New Life to Live (My personal blog)

Laura's HRT Journal     |     Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Offline Laura1951

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Re: One New Life to Live
« Reply #19 on: July 31, 2020, 12:52:14 pm »
Friday morning, I have a regular doubles group that's been together at least five years. Persons One and Four are part of this group. When Person Four arrived, she gave me a big hug, told me she loved me, and said that she cried when she read my coming out letter. I'm so thankful for her acceptance.

The fourth person in our foursome is a great guy and he'll be Person Five next week. One at a time.

When I got home, Person One, who is away this weekend celebrating her anniversary, texted to ask how things went between Person Four and me. I shared what I've told you and let her know that it's ok for them to talk about me. I do trust this group and if I'm going to stay in this city, I'll need support of the people I play with. Of course, these are the low hanging fruit, but I'm celebrating this victor.

Laura
One New Life to Live (My personal blog)

Laura's HRT Journal     |     Laura's FFS Journey.   |  Stay or Go



Tags: coming out