Hi everyone
I just joined up (posted my introduction in the thread). This is about my 3rd or 4th time trying this in recent weeks. I've been on other sites which I've found either unhelpful, immature, dismissive or wholly inappropriate. I've seen a lot of people really help each other and just interact and talk with my recon of Susan's place so I'm giving it a try.
I apologise in advance for the essay :-\
I'm a 30 year old married person. I am living with Gender Dysphoria. I've only recently come to terms with this after years of battling back thoughts and feelings and burying them to the point of bursting.
It's all I've been thinking about lately. It consumes me. Wishing and hoping that I would suddenly, magically wake up a woman. I've been having anxiety attacks. I've been to my GP and lied my butt off to her about why I feel I've been having them but she referred me to therapy which is what I really wanted anyway as I can't cope with it. My initial session went well and they were really welcoming and understanding. I'm just waiting for a therapist to be free but hopefully not too long fingers crossed.
I love my wife, I'm still attracted to my wife. I'm afraid of losing her. I recently told her about my identity issues but I did it the cowards way. I told her when she wasn't at her full facilities which made things a million times worse. She has since forgiven me for it (which I'm grateful for) and she's supportive of my pursuit of therapy but she's said a few times she wouldn't accept it if I were to transition in the future so it feels like a lose/lose situation to me which really get's me down.
I find being Abigail online helps ease my anxiety and is rather liberating. There are parts of me that wonder is this even real what I'm going through. Sometimes it doesn't feel real it just feels numbing. I don't really know where I take my life from here. Therapy is the next thing then one step in front of the other after that whichever way I go.
Thanks for reading
Abi
Welcome to Susan's Place, Abi!
I hope you're not going to lie your butt off to the therapist. Most of us are working towards the end of living a lie. Transitioning is tough. It's likely to cost you everthing. It's frequently the only choice we have, though. Despite the losses, most of us do find peace with our decision. Good luck with your journey. :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Hi Abi. You will see by reading the experiences of many other members that Devlyn was right not to pretend that it will be plain sailing. I hope that everything works out best for you, though.
Hi Devlyn and Mary.
Thanks for the welcome. It's appreciated.
Don't worry I'm not going to lie to the therapist at all. I did meet with one last week for an initial consult and told her everything. Took me a bit of time to work up the courage but got there. So I'm hoping that she matches me up with someone compatible and who will be able to meet my needs.
I am nervous and excited for my next session. I feel it's a start on a very long road. :)
Hi Abi,
The process takes time but when it finally gets going and all road blocks cleared then it goes very fast. At a point you will realize there is little or nothing left to do but be yourself.
Good luck on your journey
Quote from: Rachel on August 12, 2018, 10:00:18 AM
Hi Abi,
The process takes time but when it finally gets going and all road blocks cleared then it goes very fast. At a point you will realize there is little or nothing left to do but be yourself.
Good luck on your journey
+1 for that right there!
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: ItsAbiKay on August 12, 2018, 03:22:25 AM
. . . so it feels like a lose/lose situation to me which really get's me down.
Are you being completely honest? I can understand how this is the predominant feeling that you are having right now. Perhaps even seasoned with a touch of panic as well. But the reason you are posting here, going to a Doctor and asking for a referral, going to an intake session and confessing your thoughts, making plans to go see a gender therapist. One doesn't do all this when staring down a lose/lose situation. Is it that you actually, for the first time, see the opportunity for a pretty massive win here? Perhaps even the biggest win of your whole life. The chance to live out in the open as your true self like pretty much everybody else in the world. Not having to settle for the cold comfort of only living your dreams online anymore but living out of the closet on your own terms. I guess all I'm saying is that it's not all lose/lose from where you are now. There is light at the end of the tunnel and my guess is you've finally caught a glimpse of it.
The decision to accept who you really are is the hardest. The rest is just process. I was so uncertain of the future I was almost willing to do something... foolish. But, I faced the fear, got rid of the road blocks and its the best decision I ever made. There will be a lot of work and potentially a high price in terms of relationship. I've lost my wife because I transitioned but you know what? I'd do it again in a heart beat.
Look at this as an opportunity to live as you... and not have wish,hope, and pretend for the rest of your life.
Don't think this is a decision anyone takes lightly, it can cost you everything or you can lose nothing and gain everything.
Whatever the outcome, surely living as your yourself outweighs most things.
I've realised with guidance from many others, you only get one go at this life & you need to live for your yourself or face depression and regrets on what never was and should of been.
I'm only just starting my journey and have untold fears of losing my wife and friends but inside you just know you have to do this.
Hope you find answers in therapy as to what's right for you, just be open and honest.
Good luck
Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
Thank you all so much for the support and the advice. I know this isn't going to be a quick process. What I meant by lose/lose is I'm stuck in this scenario for my entire life or I lose my wife which I can't bear the thought of. I do feel stuck.
I feel living free as myself should be my priority but it's hard because I don't want to hurt anyone else in the mean time. I am really hoping therapy can help me out with my conundrums.
(Hugging Abi)
Abi, you are safe here and among friends who don't judge.
Feel totally free to express your thoughts, dreams and hopes as well as your pain and despair. Susan's and maybe a therapist's office are the only places for some to feel free to let out their inner selves - and that is OK.
I know you fear losing your wife but don't judge the future from her initial reaction. She is upset and angry because, in many ways you pulled the "trust" carpet out from under her; if "he" has managed to hide this for so long... Yes, some marriages fail after wives won't adjust but the more you read real women's stories here, you will find that a great deal of these wives have become their mate's staunchest allies. The "Significant Others" topic could be a great resource to ease your mind.
Susan
Hiya Susan.
I do feel like I'm able to express myself without judgement which is a great help. Things are really good between my wife and I at the moment but I imagine there is a good bit of denial at work here.
I'll have a nice bit of free time tomorrow so I'll check out The Significant Others section and hopefully it will be of benefit.
Thanks for the advice.
Abi
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Hi Abi, and welcome!
Confronting our identity issues is tough and scary. I know the fears that come all my with this because I have them too. It was only recently (since April) that I began dealing with this. I'm not married and I don't have any children, but I do come from a family that doesn't understand transgender people. My transgender sister came out a few years ago and did not receive a warm embrace. She is still loved and a member of the family, but the family still does not approve of her trans identity. They don't know about me yet, since I have yet to transition.
First thing I would suggest is seeing a gender therapist. As was already mentioned, be completely honest in your sessions. The therapist can't give you the help and guidance you need if he or she does not have all of the facts. I too was scared upon my first session. I told her things I have never told anyone else regarding to my authentic self. I even tried to hide those things from me! Still, I knew if I wanted help I had to be honest. Today, I look forward to my sessions. Besides here on Susan's, therapy is the only place I can open up about my being trans. Whether or not you transition is completely up to you. No one else can decide that. No matter your decision I wish you the very best in your journey.
Hugs!!
Danielle
Quote from: Devlyn on August 12, 2018, 06:52:32 AM
Welcome to Susan's Place, Abi!
I hope you're not going to lie your butt off to the therapist. Most of us are working towards the end of living a lie. Transitioning is tough. It's likely to cost you everthing. It's frequently the only choice we have, though. Despite the losses, most of us do find peace with our decision. Good luck with your journey. :)
Hugs, Devlyn
@Devlyn
It's such a simple thing, but it's actually really nice (coming from some other places on the internet) to hear someone just straight-up say that transitioning will likely (or very well could) cost you everything. It's true, and that's one of the many challenges we face. But there is so much to gain that I never really think about the losses :)
Quote from: Danielle Kristina on August 15, 2018, 02:24:48 PM
As was already mentioned, be completely honest in your sessions. The therapist can't give you the help and guidance you need if he or she does not have all of the facts.
Hi Danielle.
Thanks for the welcome and the hugs. Still waiting on my appointment. It's slow going but patience is one of my strong suits. Have no fear I'll certainly be open and honest with the therapist. I've nothing to hide from them any more. I'm not in denial about myself any more. I've spent far too long in denial. I'm still scared but trying to cope. My heart of hearts is saying transition in time but my brain is in control and it's petrified. Hopefully opening up with the therapist will help me with that.
Quote from: I_Am_Hazel on August 15, 2018, 07:45:13 PM
@Devlyn
It's such a simple thing, but it's actually really nice (coming from some other places on the internet) to hear someone just straight-up say that transitioning will likely (or very well could) cost you everything. It's true, and that's one of the many challenges we face. But there is so much to gain that I never really think about the losses :)
Putting it out there like it is...just another service I offer. :)
Hugs, Devlyn
Hi, Abigail, and welcome! Congratulations on having the courage to reach out!
I am a volunteer firefighter, and we have a saying in the fire service: "Risk a little to save a little. Risk a lot to save a lot." Transitioning within a marriage is a case of having to risk a lot to gain a lot. I couldn't come out to my wife until I was okay with the idea that she could make up her own mind either way: to stay or to leave. Would she prefer to live with a man only, or would she take transitioning to be included under "for better or for worse"? There is no right answer: I had to give her the right to make that choice herself.
Lucky for me, she decided to stay. I hope you have the same good fortune.
To echo what Devlyn said, here is a paragraph from my coming-out letter:
I had a choice between growing angrier and more miserable every year, or allowing myself to find peace by letting the person I have always been come out of the darkness. It was a simple, yet terrifying choice. By choosing this path I knew I could lose everyone I hold most dear -- my wife, my daughters, my family, and my friends. Try to imagine how much pain someone must be experiencing to make this choice, knowing what could be lost.
My acceptance of myself was an epiphany, then came the hard part -- telling everyone else. My wife and I have been married for 34 years and have two daughters (ages 20 and 23). Telling my wife was the hardest thing I ever did. I couldn't get the words out, so I gave her a letter one night while lying in bed. Our relationship was stretched way beyond the point where I though it would snap, but somehow we stayed together. Seeing a good therapist really does help. It took my wife well over a year to finally accept me, which included many nights in separate bedrooms. She has said that she does love the person I have become, but some days are still difficult for her.
If you are interested, my journal thread is here: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,233104.msg2076844.html#msg2076844
Thanks Jessica. I appreciate you sharing your journal with me. The more material I have to expand my knowledge is great. Your journal on the trachea shave I thought was great because I had heard of it but never actually read about someone going through it so thanks for sharing.
On another note. I did have my first session with a therapist this week. It went really well and really positively for a first session. She was very understanding and I feel safe talking to her. She got the whole story (well as much as you can fit in 50 minutes). I don't get to see her again for a few weeks as she is away and so am I but she wanted to fit me in before she went so we can get to know each other. I came out of the session feeling positive about everything for the first time in a while. It didn't last but these things rarely do. If I felt that good about myself once I can feel that good about myself again. My journey has well and truly begun.
It's been a few weeks since I posted. Just done a fair bit of lurking. Still here and still struggling but pushing forward. I feel a sense of envy when I read about so many brave ladies on here and other places who are living the lives they want and deserve to live.
I've had more sessions with my therapist but it feels like really slow going. Which is natural, there is no magic fix. I'm still unsure what's going to happen with me at the end of it. Some days I still feel so low and miserable. I do keep a personal journal now though where I chronicle everything I feel and everything I go through. That thing is really filling out.
I did get in touch with organizations in my country to get an idea of what steps would need to be taken to move forward if I choose to move forward. I have a wealth of knowledge at my fingertips and at least I know what steps it takes and it can be done without too much opposition.
I'm hoping that for my next session with the therapist we can really touch on my gender dysphoria. At the moment we've just talked about things at home and with my family background as it's fractured. I suppose it's all there and need to be talked about but I hope next week we can talk about it a little more. I think that's it from me for now.
Thanks for reading
Abi x
Quote from: Devlyn on August 12, 2018, 10:03:08 AM
+1 for that right there!
Hugs, Devlyn
Agree on that once that transition train starts there is NO stopping it!
Hello Abi
I think you are absolutely right both to research and gain knowledge and also to seek therapy.
I wish you success in your future therapy sessions. I think you have just reached the point of acceptance of yourself and a gender therapist should now be able to advise and guide you accordingly.
Hugs
Pamela
Hi Abi, I like your name. I am a little late to your thread and hope you don't mind if I chime in with a few questions. I know you stated telling your wife. Are you able to include her as you discover your feelings with the therapist? If you and your partner are close and love each other, I would hope you would be able to work on this issue with communication open between you two. Of course there is always the risk to your marriage with this thing you are both dealing with. My personal opinion (being someone who stayed with my partner through full transition) is that including your partner will make staying together more likely as opposed to excluding her from the thought process. Partners, from what I've seen, want honesty and get upset with surprises like decisions being made without there input. (SO's invited to speak to this) I get from what you have written that you don't know how this ends. I think if she is involved in the process, any beginning stance on her part may be pliable, open to evolving. I know of no one whose dysphoria magically goes away. There are multiple possible paths to dealing with it. I commend you for not trying to run from this any longer. Denial is something I did for 50 years, and it got me nothing but pain. Stay positive, good outcomes are possible. Oh my name is Moni. Welcome to Susan's!
Quote from: pamelatransuk on September 15, 2018, 05:44:53 AM
Hello Abi
I think you are absolutely right both to research and gain knowledge and also to seek therapy.
I wish you success in your future therapy sessions. I think you have just reached the point of acceptance of yourself and a gender therapist should now be able to advise and guide you accordingly.
Hugs
Pamela
Hi Pamela. Thank you so much for the words of encouragement. I really appreciate them and it's one of the reasons I keep coming back to Susans.
Quote from: HappyMoni on September 15, 2018, 09:48:38 AM
Hi Abi, I like your name. I am a little late to your thread and hope you don't mind if I chime in with a few questions. I know you stated telling your wife. Are you able to include her as you discover your feelings with the therapist? If you and your partner are close and love each other, I would hope you would be able to work on this issue with communication open between you two. Of course there is always the risk to your marriage with this thing you are both dealing with. My personal opinion (being someone who stayed with my partner through full transition) is that including your partner will make staying together more likely as opposed to excluding her from the thought process. Partners, from what I've seen, want honesty and get upset with surprises like decisions being made without there input. (SO's invited to speak to this) I get from what you have written that you don't know how this ends. I think if she is involved in the process, any beginning stance on her part may be pliable, open to evolving. I know of no one whose dysphoria magically goes away. There are multiple possible paths to dealing with it. I commend you for not trying to run from this any longer. Denial is something I did for 50 years, and it got me nothing but pain. Stay positive, good outcomes are possible. Oh my name is Moni. Welcome to Susan's!
Hi Moni. Nice to meet you. I don't mind anyone chiming in. I'm happy for any one to chat with me about anything. I just appreciate you taking the time. It's certainly not easy for me to still talk to her about it. It's like something we know is there but most of the time we skirt around it and don't actually talk about it. I do hope in time that it is something that would become more open in our relation ship and I want to about it and not bury it. We do love each other and we're one of those zany, wacky couples that have their own secret languages and words and mannerisms and I love it it's great. I feel like we're the only ones we can be ourselves around. There is no doubt about it though. Me coming out to her and the manner in which I did it has definitely strained our relationship. The trust is shattered and I understand that. I definitely wouldn't make any major decision in my life without first talking to her about it and including her in it. I wouldn't sneak behind her back and start down the road of physical changes or anything like that. That's one of the reasons why I'm facing up to this now because it's not going away and I know myself that I'm not going to be able to handle it otherwise. There is definitely a sense of denial about us as a couple for sure. It's just if we can get past that or not but I'll be trying and she'll be there with me every step of the way unless she doesn't want to. Thank you so much for the warm welcome and input. As I said above I do greatly appreciate it.
Abi, you are being so brave. I admire you for being level headed. And you may feel low at the moment but you are being incredible, asking the right questions and seeking the right help. Inspirational. In some ways I am probably a few steps behind you but in others a few steps ahead... but I've nowhere near your courage. You hang in there and be brave. Everybody's courage here is just wow. I've never felt so frightened and alone as I do now... and I came to terms with who I was a long time ago. So to be doing that now, the bravery is just incredible. Seeking therapy and coming out like that to your wife... really impressive. I came out to my wife before we married, it was her support that convinced me to marry, but alas it ended up being too much for her and I lost that support. But at least I don't have to face coming out to her again. So you did a very brave thing, much braver than me, when I came out to my wife, I had nothing to lose (I do now though), you had everything to lose and you showed so much courage in that. Wow. I am blown away.
Quote from: Nym on September 15, 2018, 12:23:20 PM
Abi, you are being so brave. I admire you for being level headed. And you may feel low at the moment but you are being incredible, asking the right questions and seeking the right help. Inspirational. In some ways I am probably a few steps behind you but in others a few steps ahead... but I've nowhere near your courage. You hang in there and be brave. Everybody's courage here is just wow. I've never felt so frightened and alone as I do now... and I came to terms with who I was a long time ago. So to be doing that now, the bravery is just incredible. Seeking therapy and coming out like that to your wife... really impressive. I came out to my wife before we married, it was her support that convinced me to marry, but alas it ended up being too much for her and I lost that support. But at least I don't have to face coming out to her again. So you did a very brave thing, much braver than me, when I came out to my wife, I had nothing to lose (I do now though), you had everything to lose and you showed so much courage in that. Wow. I am blown away.
Hi Nym. It's nice to meet you. It's easy enough to be level headed I've always been a laid back person and logically. I'm nothing special just taking things one day at a time and keep moving forward. Don't sell yourself short, Nym. You have your own courage too. Coming out to your wife before the wedding was extremely brave and courageous. So is being here now and talking with everyone. Any move forward for all of us is courageous. We're all here to support each other its one of the great things about this site. You're never alone. We're all here for you any time just reach out.
Hugs x
Abi
@Nym and Abi,
I wish things were easier for you. I told my partner before we married in 1979. I was fortunate in that she accepted me and we are still together now. The key there was 'she' accepted me. I transitioned starting in 2015, so I did not accept myself for a looooong time. What you are faced with is amazingly difficult. You are right about the things we stand to lose. Telling someone? Well, we do it sometimes in weird ways, but it is not meant to disrespect the person being told, it is just so scary. I expect in time your wife will forget the 'how' of how you told her.
I would caution you both on one thing. You look around this site and see people who have done so much on their paths of becoming their true selves. It might be easy to be in awe of them and think they have some magical ability that you don't have. Don't discount your potential to make changes in your life. I can't tell you the number of times I looked ahead at my transition and said, "Oh, ah, I will never be able to do that!" Yet, I did. You can call it bravery, you can call it desperation (my personal favorite), but being yourself is a powerful motivator. Not being yourself is painful, very painful. Sorry if this sounds preachy. It isn't my intention. I just think we all sometimes need to be told that, positive outcomes are possible and they happen when you start to believe they are possible.
With warmth,
Moni
Thanks Moni. It definitely did not come across as preachy and I suppose I am starting to see my own potential for the capacity to make changes in my life. It's just a long hard road as you know yourself and so does everyone else here.
I had another session with my therapist today. Only out of her office a few minutes but I feel amazing after it. We've talked about me having Gender Dysphoria before and other aspects but today I was comfortable enough to open up about Abi when she asked about it. It was the first time she really probed to see what was there. Asking what kind of woman she is and did she have a name and what would she think of the predicament that I find myself in. I told her things I've never been able to say out loud to another loving soul. "Abigail is a strong, smart, take no crap woman who is confident in herself, her appearance and abilities". Saying those things to her was freeing. I was able to talk about my experiments cross dressing and the confidence I have taking pictures of it. It felt like a real corner being turned today in my sessions and she said that she was happy for me that I was able to express myself. She also said every time I talked about Abi that I had a smile on my face and I didn't even notice. I did have an anxiety attack in the middle of it but got through it. The fact that someone is actually proud of me for just being myself and talking about myself almost reduces me to tears. It makes me believe I am not strange or wrong. For the first time today I saw a future where I was happy. I hope you comes true.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Yay! I love to read about people turning corners in their progress. That sounds like a big one, and I am happy for you. Here's to that happy future that you see.
Quote from: ItsAbiKay on September 18, 2018, 07:32:49 AM
Thanks Moni. It definitely did not come across as preachy and I suppose I am starting to see my own potential for the capacity to make changes in my life. It's just a long hard road as you know yourself and so does everyone else here.
I had another session with my therapist today. Only out of her office a few minutes but I feel amazing after it. We've talked about me having Gender Dysphoria before and other aspects but today I was comfortable enough to open up about Abi when she asked about it. It was the first time she really probed to see what was there. Asking what kind of woman she is and did she have a name and what would she think of the predicament that I find myself in. I told her things I've never been able to say out loud to another loving soul. "Abigail is a strong, smart, take no crap woman who is confident in herself, her appearance and abilities". Saying those things to her was freeing. I was able to talk about my experiments cross dressing and the confidence I have taking pictures of it. It felt like a real corner being turned today in my sessions and she said that she was happy for me that I was able to express myself. She also said every time I talked about Abi that I had a smile on my face and I didn't even notice. I did have an anxiety attack in the middle of it but got through it. The fact that someone is actually proud of me for just being myself and talking about myself almost reduces me to tears. It makes me believe I am not strange or wrong. For the first time today I saw a future where I was happy. I hope you comes true.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Hi Abi,
Glad to hear you describe your visit so positively. You actually gave me a flashback. When I was in college, many years ago, I came out to a guidance person at my school. I wrote this woman a letter that essentially said that I didn't know if I could continue life as a guy the rest of my life. I remember being invited to her office and barely looked at her, I was so embarrassed at that point. She expressed extreme surprise and said she would be open to giving me some of her old clothes, but she didn't know if it was ethical to do so. At that date, she probably thought of me as mentally ill. I am so happy that this is not how things are for you. I so vividly remember the feeling I had then. I said that I might have to live my life as a female, but it was said, as much as anything, out of frustration. I truly didn't believe it could happen for me. Today, it is truly amazing living every day as a woman. My glimpse from the other side of transition is more wonderful then I could ever imagine. Everything I went through was worth it. I have freed myself from so much fear. If I had a thought that she could still be alive, I would love to let her know how it turned out.
Moni
Keep fighting for what you want, Abi! Good luck!
@ItsAbiKayDear Abi:As others have commented, your report is wonderful news and a positive and happy report about your transition progress as you continue on to your goals.
Yes indeed, you have certainly "turned a corner" in your own attitude, self-confidence and in the eyes of your therapist.
It is so good to personally get along with our therapists... I know, it is their job to make one feel at ease but not all of them come across as friendly and helpful as you experienced at your appointment today.
You future is bright.... Life is Good.
Please, if you feel so led, continue to keep us updated on your life events regarding your transition.
Hugs, and well wishes,
Danielle
wow... I am just learning to open up. Someone is helping me from another forum to do that. Not so much being honest with myself, I've always been... but trying to rid myself of the fear to talk to people who can help me. That alone is a big step for me. So amazing work Abi.
Moni, that was a beautiful post you addressed to me and Abi. Thank you for that. I still think that the bravest people in the world are on sites like this talking about how they transitioned. It might be desperation that leads to the first steps but the courage is unbelievable. You know what it is like to be where I am now, so you must know how scary and confusing it all is.
I got a phone call today about my self referral for therapy. It is not a gender specialist but it is a first step for me and at this moment in time, I just need to become comfortable talking to people about this. These forums help a lot but I've always been better at writing my thoughts than speaking them.
Well done Abi. It is inspiring reading how you are taking these steps.
Quote from: Nym on September 18, 2018, 08:00:40 PM
wow... I am just learning to open up. Someone is helping me from another forum to do that. Not so much being honest with myself, I've always been... but trying to rid myself of the fear to talk to people who can help me. That alone is a big step for me. So amazing work Abi.
Moni, that was a beautiful post you addressed to me and Abi. Thank you for that. I still think that the bravest people in the world are on sites like this talking about how they transitioned. It might be desperation that leads to the first steps but the courage is unbelievable. You know what it is like to be where I am now, so you must know how scary and confusing it all is.
I got a phone call today about my self referral for therapy. It is not a gender specialist but it is a first step for me and at this moment in time, I just need to become comfortable talking to people about this. These forums help a lot but I've always been better at writing my thoughts than speaking them.
Well done Abi. It is inspiring reading how you are taking these steps.
Nym,
Even though I am 95 % done with the dramatic parts of transition, I like to talk with friends who are where you are. I remember that horrible fear you are dealing with. If I can say one thing that helps, I am happy to do that. I want you to find your way and in a selfish way it helps me heal from my past. I think those who are starting out need to hear that if they decide to transition, there will be people who will support. There are big risks but there are incredible rewards possible. You should be proud of yourself for starting to figure this out. If I can be of any help with you or Abi, I would be honored to do so. Keep smilin, it helps.
Warmly,
Moni
Thanks Kathy, Danielle, Moni and Nym.
I've had a few days to digest my session seeing as I posted here almost straight away after it with excitement. Honestly every ones kind words here are always a beacon of positivity. The session this week really did set me up for the week and put me in a great mood. It gave me a level of confidence I've never known. I even put my selfies up on my private facebook page which is part of a few groups and I feel confident in people seeing them. It's been eye opening and I know that not all weeks are going to be like this but you take the good with the bad and right now for the first time in a long time I'm feeling positive. I want to be true to myself and try and live the life I'm meant to and this can hopefully be the start of it.
Thank you all for the support
Abi x
It is so nice to hear of your positivity, Abi. I hope you will stay with us and share when you feel it. I would like nothing better than to keep hearing about your progress. It is so cool to see people figuring out what they need and getting there. With warmth and well wishes!
Moni
Hi Abi,
It is wonderful to hear that you are getting help and making progress!
Marion