Finally Expressing Myself

[inna]

Hi sweetie, I know it must sound weird to be called that when all your life you spent on bulking up the image , but that is just that, "an image" not YOU!
Who you are is way deep inside your soul, and I know the confusion and pain which accompanies the lie we have been carrying for a lifetime. I am so glad you are here and starting on your way to the truth, through such you will also find love and happiness in being just your self, the true self. I kept this revelation for 40 years and about 30 too long but the times and peer pressure didn't allow for anything else. You live in much better times in much better country, and believe me, when time has come to reveal my inner secrets almost every one including strangers I just met were warm and accepting of my journey. I can't hide I have lost my fathers so called love and marriage of 22 years but I now understand I have really lost nothing, for I have never truly had it in the first place. Like your brother, if someone loves you unconditionally, they shall remain that way regardless of where you go with your life. Have courage, but don't be afraid to cry, those tears cleanse your soul and mend broken heart.
Listen to you heart through which the truth will flow and follow it, it is the only way.

With all the love, Inna.

[madirocks]

thank you inna! this means very much to me. i certainly feel more at peace about myself lately. granted, i'm ready to move on lol, but i'm certainly much happier with who i really am. even my coworkers have noticed it as well. the other women at work have talked to me a lot more, and i finally feel it's okay to have real conversations with them. it puts a smile on my face every time! i know there's not going to be very many people excepting of what i'm going to go through, but i've been through worse before. and the funny thing is, i was just going to continue how i was hoping that my feelings would just dissappear. but, even funnier is that i know at some point every one sees their future self. and, whenever i was saw my future self it was as who i really am inside. i'm sure it sounds silly, but i suppose it means that is how it was meant to be all along. for years i've struggled with trying to decide what i should do next, but it was all because i was trying to please everyone around me rather than myself.

there's a bright future ahead of me and i'm extremely excited!

[inna]

I am extremely happy that you are committing your self to inevitable, it is a courageous act, I have no doubt in your strength. But such strength does not come from muscle or brute force, as military would like us believe, but from the power of truth and your own heart.
For most, so called real man, such devotion to truth is too far to grasp and they prefer to remain tough on the outside, ridiculing everyone who is different, due to their own fear and guilt and surrounding their hearts with concrete shell.

I made the move to embrace my reveal after several months here, talking to girlfriends and growing in strength and realizing I was "Normal" that my life as Inna meant something special and that there was a reason for Inna's existence, just as there is a reason for your inner being to exist free of prejudice, pain and suffering.

Yes there is a bright future ahead, and being younger you have a clear shot at achieving the most desirable outcome in your transition. I hope to be talking to you often, and wish you the best on your first visit to the therapist