When did you start to realise

[JungianZoe]

First memory I have of it is at 4 years old, when my only friend in the world was a little girl who lived across the street, and praying at night that I'd wake up a girl the next day.  It wasn't that there weren't other kids on my street to play with, but the boys played so rough that I couldn't stand them.  They also played with toy guns and stuff that I didn't like at all.  Dolls and tea sets were my thing from day one.  I didn't have a violent streak in my body, even with toys that were made for such abuse.  Why hit anything when you could give it a hug?



That pic is from the Christmas after I turned 2... apparently, I always felt that way.

[Yakshini]

I don't remember one single moment of realization, I kinda always knew something wasn't quite right. As a little kid I remember dissatisfaction with the fact that I was female, but it remained as simple dissatisfaction until I was in Middle School and I started hating that I was female.

[Dark Angel]

Around 3 years old. I remember trying on my sisters dresses and wondering why I couldn't wear them too or grow my hair out like her. I wanted to be pretty and not play with male toys. I hated my "downstairs mixup". Unfortunately my parents were hardcore conservative and I had to hide my feelings. Rough childhood...

[cynthialee]

Around 3 years old. I remember trying on my sisters dresses and wondering why I couldn't wear them too or grow my hair out like her. I wanted to be pretty and not play with male toys. I hated my "downstairs mixup". Unfortunately my parents were hardcore conservative and I had to hide my feelings. Rough childhood...

I totaly lived in an uber conservative grandmothers house for a number of years.

[Cristóbal]

I mostly..denied myself. Since I was in elementary school, all my crushes were on girls. I'd play with the boys a lot and I'd make friends with them more easily( not to mention, I'd wear only boys clothes). But when I talked to girls or became friends with them I'd tease and hurt them most of the time. Towards the ending of 5th grade I came out to a friend. I told her that I liked a girl, and she freaked out and said I was being controlled by Satan ( Her family are highly religious Christians. She even though highlighting the holy bible was satanic.) I also didn't like it that she referred to me as I lesbian so I told her I was joking..though she was cautious and didn't give in to easily. In middle school I'd make and write things to this girl I liked, one particular girl, though she took it as a friendly gesture. As 7th and 8th grade came by I grew more attached to her and she kissed me, I got scared and of course ran away (rejecting myself again) My freshman year, I got a comp and I  was looking around the internet and found a site talking about mtf's so I looked into them because the topic interest me and I came across the Maury show that showed an ftm. I looked at him in awe and there i realized what I wanted to do with my life and it just clicked. I am a man! 

[Herwinteress]

For me it was in middle school, 7th grade.  I came home from school one day and knew I'd be home alone for awhile.

Without giving it much thought, I went to my mom's closet and started trying on her dresses and shoes.

I remember sitting on the couch dressed up thinking "Why doesn't this feel weird? It should feel weird, right? What's wrong with me?"

It wasn't long after that where I started feeling REALLY envious of girls at school and knowing I wanted to live the life they had and be one of them.

[riccirules]

I remember being a tomboy most of my childhood, and loving it when strangers would refer to me as "son".
But I never came out to anyone until I was 13.
She spilled the beans to my brother, who told my father.
I told my dad he was lying (because I didn't want to get punished/hurt/etc.).

I came out to all of my friends recently.
I also came out to the housing department at my college a few days ago...(on June 30th, to be exact).

I have not told my family yet.

[Renton]

Something always felt "off" during my early childhood, but I didn't get any strong feelings until about middle school. It was truly painful to watch my male friends grow and develop differently than me, but the idea of it being a gender issue never occured; it was mostly because I didn't even know that GID and transsexuality existed. It wasn't until high school, when a LGBT group visited my health class, that I truly found out what the issue was/could be.

[N.Chaos]

I can't put a specific date on it. When I was a kid, one of the things my mom insisted on was buying me whatever the hell kind of toys I wanted. So (as I've probably said before on here) I had barbies wearing Transformers armor, and the Transformers lived in a big, pink mansion. I was all over the place as a kid, but I always, always wanted to be a knight. I saw "Dragonheart" as a kid, and I seriously wanted to be Bowen when I grew up.

While I was growing up, I wore jeans and t-shirts. I got forced into dresses on special occasions, and ended up getting them muddy/ripped/ruined. So, my mom stopped making me wear them. I catholic school, I wanted to off myself for being forced into jumpers and skirts, and rejoiced (as much as someone in a horrible school can) when I hit 6th grade and was allowed to wear pants.

I feel, honestly, that I've always been like this and just didn't know the word for it. I can't count how many times during high school, I'd tell people "I'm in the wrong body, I should've been a boy". People have always treated me more male, and when they didn't it's always offended me off and sickened me. I remember wanting to cut my chest off when I was 13. I never questioned my attraction to girls, but I always felt weird and called myself gay for liking guys.
I could list things off virtually forever. I just couldn't take it at the end if college. I couldn't keep lying, couldn't keep being someone I was.

I just remember this brief phase where I tried to force myself to be a girl, and I hated it. I felt disgusting, I felt like I had to tell everyone I met "This isn't me, this is a goddamn costume and a role that I hate".

[Wild Flower]

Sailor Moon. age 5.