Split genders at home and in public

[Frank]

I have noticed that at home I can actually tolerate having my family call me she or the short version of my name. In fact, it's a little odd if they call me my male name so they just use the letter and everyone is happy. In public though, I'm undoubtedly male or I'll pitch a fit.  But I find it a little frustrating, it's kind of like being trapped between genders...or being a nothing... What do you think?

[Taka]

um.. maybe it's just old habit? your family is a place where your sex or gender shouldn't matter too much anyway, home to me is a place where i can just be, without having to be "something". would be much more reason to worry if you were ok with a boy/girlfriend calling you she or your female name?

[JohnAlex]

I can kinda relate.  For me, it's at my grandparents' that I don't mind being a "female." 
At my other relatives who I'm out to, I wouldn't let them call me by my old name or call me a girl.   

But because my grandparents are so against gays and trans, I never plan on being out to them as long as they live.  So I've accepted that I'll always be a girl to them, and I actually feel kinda relaxed around them.  I don't feel like I have to bind or wear strictly male clothes to help me pass.  I can wear what is comfortable.
It's alright with me.

[jessman3]

I'm not out to my extended family yet, as I only see them once in a great while at family gatherings. So when I do go, they call me by my birth name and "she". It doesnt bother me as much, but it still gets to me a little. Mostly because my family is very matriarchal, and therefore all the girls are cliquey, which I've never been fond of.
But the one thing I am noticing, is that I forget to answer to my legal name haha
I've got to come out to them soon >.>; lol

[Sam-]

I don't know if this is the same, but I am much more comfortable with people I'm close to referring to me as "she" and such, rather than people I don't know. Store clerks and people I'm just meeting (etc), it PISSES me off so bad when they read me as a girl. But I think when I'm already close to someone it doesn't matter so much because they know the real me, they know me so gender isn't a big deal cuz I'm just me. But someone new, one of the main things in their mind will be that I'm a girl because they don't know anything about me. Does that make sense?

[bradlee2100]

I'm the same way.  In public I'm Braden, though at school I go by Braden but everyone knows me as female bodied so they call me she; some people that know me but are not close to me still call me by my birth name, but I tend to ignore them. My art teachers confronted me and pay close attention to how my friends address me so they call me he. And of course, there are the teachers that call me m'am and what not.
At home I'm the same as I always been, birth name and female pronouns, but my mom uses male pronouns when talking to my dogs, which I admit is awkward but still pretty awesome.
I guess it's just part of the whole process though, which is also a relief for me since I'm actually starting to get somewhere.

[Jav]

So it's day 25 of my HRT. And last two times I had to see my ex, she calls me "she", "lady", "woman", all in anger. I freaked out big time. Realised that whatever the modicum of lingering love I had for her was just plain gone. And we became a history partly because she refused for years to acknowledge my deep visceral need to transition... I can be a bit tolerant with people I have not yet told, but with someone I was married to, nope, just no go.

[kalshady]

I feel like Im living a double life. Out in public, wit friends, or at college I am Kal, the man that EVERYBODY knows I am. But at home, I am (birthname), the female. My parents refuse to use the correct pronouns even out in public (which confuses the ->-bleeped-<- out of people and seriously irritates me). Very rarely but every so often they will refer to me as Kal. Its definitely a weird situation... feeling stuck in between genders bc of others.