I can certainly see the importance of the "Do I pass" thread and I think it is a very important thread to have. I know when I was transitioning, I would def want to post in there to get honest feedback.
However, I have noticed somewhat of a trend in the thread. I didn't know if I was the only one; but there seems to be some people who respond "oh you def pass" when it is clearly evident that the person posting those pics would not.
Now, don't get me wrong or misunderstand me. The great vast majority of all the girls posting in there will pass one day. I can def see their features become more feminine when undergoing hrt, etc etc but I would assume when you tell a girl "oh you def pass" would be damaging if they currently do not. To me, this could be a very bad thing because the girl can become very confident in their ability to pass (confidence is great) but what happens when they go out in the world and gets clocked or has a bad experience? It could really effect them in a negative way.
With that said, No one should ever say "no you don't pass" without offering any suggestions to help them approve their appearance, clothing, etc etc. As I came to understand that thread, people with experience in living real life experience or who has done things better their reflections could pass their words of wisdom down to other girls who are just starting the process.
There are some girls who do offer honest feedback on what to do to help the girl out. I have seen excellent suggestions that would help the girls out but mostly this thread i am creating is about those who pretty much pastes a copied "oh you pass" after every pic laid down.
To me, telling a girl "you pass" when they clearly are not there yet is just as damaging as telling a girl "you don't pass" without offering suggestions to better their look.
I don't know....maybe it's just me but if I was in the beginnings of transition, I would feel a little "belittled" if someone told me I passed without any explanations when I knew down in my heart I had a long ways to go.
One of my best friends were very honest with me when I was transitioning. She would say "you are getting there! But you may wanna trim those eyebrows a bit" or "sweety, you just started HRT, you need to give yourself some more time before features change." Those were very critical comments to me. One friend was even honest to me and told me that my hair would clock me everytime. She gave me suggestions and after a hair transplant in the forehead region I became more confident and I tryly appreciated her honesty. If you look at the thread that has our before pics...look up mine. You'll see exactly what I am talking about.
When someone comes to me and asks if they pass I always tell them that I look at these features to determine if someone can blend in.
1. Their voice. You can be the most beautiful woman in the world but if your voice is masculine, no amounts of FFS or makeup or HRT will help.
2. Hair. Your hairline is very important. If you have a very receding hairline (like I did), that will get you clocked pretty easily too.
Fortunately, both of these steps can be easily fixed. Voice can be fixed if practiced. And your hair can be fixed through transplants and if you cannot afford that, you can find an awesome inexpensive wig that looks extremely lifelike. (When it comes to wigs, there is a good inexpensive wig and there is the expensive wig that really looks fake..it just takes a lot of research and what hair style conforms to your face better).
But yea, for the most part. If someone really looks like they may not pass to well, don't just say "oh you pass!" Be honest! But with that honest show respect and offer suggestions that would help her!
