age and taking the plunge

[Centcomm01]

im 46 . and just now gaining the courage to realize whats wrong , sigh .. im worryed about age and pretty much everything that could go wrong can . my finances are garbage because of a lack of self worth i guess .. ive never felt "right" or correct .. and find myself at war with my self ive dabbled in CD and feel very comfy in womens clothing - oddly enough it doesnt cause a "omg" fetish reaction .. it just feels "better" i know the path im choosing is difficult and expensive , im worryed about medical issues . costs ect ect so far ive told a very few close friends and they have been positive .. my ex of 10 years was saying .. "ok.. why didnt you do it sooner .. im lucky in regards to looking my age i look younger .. im hoping to "pass:" i know i shouldnt expect miracles but im hoping to find people in my area that can help me .. im kinda lost on what to do first ( located in phx/tempe .. Arizona )any help or advice would be appreceated and apologys if this isnt in the right area ..

[justmeinoz]

46? Wish I had started at 46. I am 57 and have been on HRT for three months, and full time for about 6 weeks.
There are lots of girls and guys here older than you, so don't worry about being the odd one out here.

It's great that your ex is understanding, and your friends are on board.  I had to start out alone, so if you have female friends who can help with appearance and body language tips you are well ahead of the game.  I have had to watch the pennies too, so like a lot of the girls here, I started shopping in charity shops. Nothing wrong with it at all, in fact it has become trendy here of late.

The best advice I can give is to get good laser facial hair removal started as soon as you can.  My laser place was owned by a Dr, so could use a high powered medical laser which took about 6 sessions to remove virtually all the dark hair.  The grey ones left don't show after shaving.  If you decide transition is not for you, well you just don't have to ever buy razor blades again!   

  When I was unable to afford things, or was feeling uncertain, I would simply "people-watch" in the local shopping malls etc, to pick up female behaviour. If you are making slow progress it is still progress.

Karen.

[Tammy Hope]

I came out publicly just after my 46th birthday, and your finances couldn't possibly be worse than mine. You said - "in your area" - generally speaking, what area is that?

[Centcomm01]

money is a large concern - and thank you for the support im glad i found this site - ive been playing rpgs for years and online games ( always as a female ) so i have a lot of the "launguage" down . i even have a somewhat decent female voice..unless i get annoyed or irritated then it drops right back to a lower range my area is the tempe  pheonix area of Arizona USA, my ex whos supportive is now in cali, and cant really assist much and the other gal thats positive .. umm well i know more about clothing and makeup than she does .. my best friend ( male and totally straght ) said he wants me to be happy and to make D*m sure i know what im doing out of concen  for my health mental and physical and thats cool , i want to make connections locally to find out what i need to do , im pretty comfy with the idea of hormones ( although im terrified of needles ) and yeah good will is a idea i already had , online payless shoes is a awesome shop and i fit a small 10 womens nicely sadly my female wardrobe consists currently of 2 battered tops 2 skirts ( one of witch my lady friend gave me because it was just a hair too large for her my hair is still very male and thankfully my hair has a thin spot , and i really hope that can be fixed , the idea of surgery scares the hell out of me i made the mistake of going online and typing in "neo-vagina" and hitting images .... after feeling sick for 5 min ( talk about a dose of ice water ) i decided that yes .. i still want to do this even if i stay non-op i have always wanted / dreamed of being female as long as i can remember and ive made a practice of coming home from work changing clothing and staying dressed the way i prefer at home , im just a wee bit . ok a LOT confused on how to start making things happen .. what to do first as far as find a theripist .. doctor .. ect ect and then start on the path to "fix" my self .. i find i still dont really want to have sex with men and find women very attractive not sure if hormones will change that.. ive actually never had my testoserone levels checked so have no clue , but i can go almost 2 days without shaving my face and several days almost a week without shaving the rest of me ( i cant stand body hair ) and yes lasering off my face .. um beard is in the plans , im just glad i wasnt cursed with massive hair on my body , again thank you for the kind words it gives me courage , and yeah the age thing was really bugging me ( curses and wishes i had done this at 20 or younger ) i think its kinda ironic when my relitives would make fun of me playing with "action figures or dolls " and he would just grin and say "well at least hes not going out and getting arrested or drinking and Wh**ing around like yours... mind you he was well in his 60s and very old school .. its too bad he passed away at 79 when i was 21 somehow i think he might have been able to handle it , hopfully when im living full time as myself .. i can look back on this as a rite of passage ...

[AbraCadabra]

Hi,
firstly I've just turned 65! Am since 1 1/2 years on RLE, HRT, and done my one year stint with a "gate-keeper" shrink idjet. But got my "letter" and ... on goes the show. Planning for GRS.
Honey, to make an omelette you gotta break some eggs, hey :-)

So you are some sort of spring chicken. The idea of having transitioned much earlier is most appealing but then WHO KNOWS what would be for you now. Also don't for get: What is, IS.

Life moves forward don't look back and get too much wrapped up in what should have been, move forward is my best advise.

As for what and what NOT to do, look up some of the relevant web info see:

World Professional Association for Transgender
http://www.debradavis.org/gecpage/benjamin.html or

http://www.wpath.org/Documents2/socv6.pdf
Or Google "So you want to be a tgirl" all about the purgatory your in right now with a lot of "us"
http://giftorlando.webatu.com/pdf-files/So%20You%20Want%20to%20be%20a%20T-Girl%202.pdf

there is LOTS and lots to fill you in, then ask question on how to go about it, if it's not so clear.
My best advise hon.
Axelle

[Tammy Hope]

The Wiki here has a ton of info.

I'm sure a city that size has an LGBT center that can probably direct you to some local resources - maybe even some low cost ones. if you want to start with a therapist but have low income, check with the closest university, if they have a Psych Dept they may very well do a sliding scale appointment - you'll get a soon-to-graduate student, but s/he will be under the supervision of a doctor.

I have at least one facebook friend (a F2M) that I believe lives in Phoenix and he might give me some tips to pass along about the trans community in the area.

[Centcomm01]

that would be cool , i have a facebook page but im keeping it in deep stealth mode atm - but i would love to get in touch with people that understand and can help me figure this out .. i read the doc ." so you want to be a T girl " ouch.. i say again .. ouch.. that hits hard, i well i didnt choose this because it was easy.. and its gonna get worse before it smooths out .. all helpful advice and thank you Axelle , that gives me hope the age thing

[Tammy Hope]

send me a PM - just a placeholder to remind me to message my friend because I'll forget.


Edit: Wait, you might not be able to do that yet (not sure if there's a minimum post requirement.

anyway, if someone replies to this thread it will bump up on the "new replies" list and that will do it.

[Cindy]

A quick bump and hello.

I'm 58 been on 'mones for 18 months. I was ready at 13 but life has its toll on me.

Hugs

Cindy

[Centcomm01]

thats awesome, the more i read and think about this the more sure i become, i realize that might sound stereotypical but what the heck its how i feel , have you had any medical issues with the treatments ? i seen lots and lots of horror storys im assuming that there are a lot of risks, hopfully explosive chemical reaction and being blown to bits isnt one of them *smiles* anywhos glad to meet you gals , and looking forward to keeping in touch and learning all i can ,..

[Laura823]

I was really a late bloomer, began seeing a therapist full time just before I turned 70.  Better late than never.  My spouse is extremely understanding. Started hormones about 6 months after therapy.  Spouse and daughter love the "new" me.

Never to late for a new beginning 

[Centcomm01]

im a bit worryed about the medical side effects .. how common are heart and liver issues , i smoke..( i know bad girl ) .. !! i have a small middle age spread at the waist (damn it .. ) was just wondering ( yes i know it effects everyone diffrently .. also know any good excuses to tell people if im wearing black nail polish other than EMO ( im not ) perhaps goth .. hmm maybe dye my hair black , its natually kinda brownish

[SandraJane]

Nice to know I'm not the only one, and at 53 I'm telling myself its only a number!. So far I've started Laser Hair Removal of  my face and neck, looking for a therapist. I smoke also, planning to "step off" shortly. As to HRT, that will come in due time.

[Centcomm01]

i guess my first step is to find a decent hair removal place ,that takes payments

[Tammy Hope]

im a bit worryed about the medical side effects .. how common are heart and liver issues , i smoke..( i know bad girl ) .. !! i have a small middle age spread at the waist (damn it .. ) was just wondering ( yes i know it effects everyone diffrently .. also know any good excuses to tell people if im wearing black nail polish other than EMO ( im not ) perhaps goth .. hmm maybe dye my hair black , its natually kinda brownish

I've always heard that smoking and HRT was a bad combination. as for the liver, there are ways around that.

Messaged my friend.

[Centcomm01]

awesome , thank you tam . appreceate it .. what ways ? right now im info hungry for more than what websites and docs can give .

[Tammy Hope]

awesome , thank you tam . appreceate it .. what ways ? right now im info hungry for more than what websites and docs can give .

If you take E by mouth, put it under the tongue and let it "absorb" instead of swallowing. of course, injections and patches also avoid the liver but they are higher.

My friend recommended the name - Antonia Elle D'orsay. she's apparently the front line high-profile M2F in the Phoenix area and would know all the resources. she can be found on FB if you want to go that route but there are probably other ways.

He said to mention his name - Lance Jayden - when you contact Toni.

[Centcomm01]

got it .. now just to locate and contact .. im trying to aviod facebook if i can , due to some people on it might not understand yet

[Tammy Hope]

got it .. now just to locate and contact .. im trying to aviod facebook if i can , due to some people on it might not understand yet

Just FYI - you can send a PM on Facebook without being "friends."

[Centcomm01]

i didnt now that . most of the time i send a PM on facebook it winds up where everyone can see it .. AGH!