I do know that every minute I am not progressing towards transition bothers me, and if I didn't make sure to define things like getting better jobs and getting some education as part of transition I would probably be going insane by now.
Really, every day since I resolved to tell other people about how I feel, I have been getting a bit more dysphoric. I have to think though that this has been a long time coming, I mean aside from being incredibly dysphoric around puberty, it basically has just been steadily rising. 5 years ago, I was under the impression I could manage it, and that transition or the like was impossible, hell I even though I could "beat" it, whatever that means.
I think in some ways, a steady but slow increase occurs, and people can bury it, but it just keeps coming back and growing, which is consistent with what some late transitoners I have talked to have experienced, at a certain point despite their best efforts and many "purges", it just becomes unmanageable without transition, and despite their fears that they "waited too long" the dysphoria seems to overcome even those fears.
So to a certain degree at least, having knowledge of something makes it more difficult to ignore, and I would think that is normal, if anything could be considered normal.
