Just the words from my soul and heart which is hurt...

[Jake Truong]

  Guys,
  I just got a phone call from my gf, we talked for nearly 1 hour, we both cried, because of the pain we are having is so bad.
  We have been in love for 4 years, we have been through pains time after time, we all believe in our happy day after all. Until now, things are going bad. I have told our situation to my family, and they definitely object. They are so mad with my appearance now, skinny, jeans, male's shirts and t-shirts, really short haircut, playing sport and doing some workouts for muscles at home. And I dont obey the words they say. In their eyes, I am a corrupt person, insolent, freaky and sick. I have to be silent and stand all those words. Whenever I walk out of my door, people look at me, gossip, make stories, say that Im disgusting when I always have to wear a helmet to hide my hair, then try to drive my bike so fast.
  I came to my gf's house since when I still was so feminine, long hair, girl's clothes, still had a light make up, still walked and talked like a real girl. Everybody in her house knows me, and also the damn neighbors. Time changes, and I change. I've realized myself, thanks to my girl, she makes me awakened. In the past, sometimes I wanted to be like a boy, and I loved a girl but I didnt know, I just treated her like my gf, when I still thought that she's the best sister of mine. And since I met my current girl, I know who I really am. And people see me through that long period of time, too many changes, and the neighbors around her house just make up stories of her life. Because we miss each other, we come to each other's house everyday, but we leave all those words out of our heads.
  And today all of her family members, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, parents just gather and talked about us. They abused us, disgusted us, said that it's unbelievable and we heard it all. My girl was hurt, and me too. Since our 1st day of love, we have had too many challenges, and God doesnt stop giving up. What should I do? I am a real man, I have to be strong, I know that, and I tried, but sometimes I feel like it's out of my control, I can't stand it, Im thinking of the day when I go back from US, when I had all of my surgeries done, what would they treat us? What else would they do to hurt us? Because they just say that we are disgusting. Sometimes I just wish time can stop, so we would sit besides each other, sleep for a while,...The only one who is happy when seeing both of us, the one who really loves us, the one who has happy eyes when seeing us kissing each other is our puppy...
  Im still in Vietnam, and I'll be in San Francisco on next January. More than ever, I want to start my process. I want to have it done. I mailed to Dr.Brownstein but he gave me the price which just amazed me, about $8,800 to $9,800. What would I do to earn that much? I will do everything in US without letting my parents know, then comeback, then I see I have to prepare myself to stand what they do after seeing me as a man. My life is dark, our future is bad ... I dont know where is the way out? Where is a spot of light? I dont know finally will God let us belong together, give us a public life and support us? Sometimes, love is everything I have, and need...
  People like us are not lucky. We have to get through too many pains, have to hold too many tears. Why dont the others understand for us? Why we are not given happiness just like the others

  Im sorry for writing this long, might none of you can read all of this, I just wanna express my feelings, I just wanna let the pain out, although it is damaging our hearts and souls.

[Jake Truong]

and for one more thing, for people who are having your family support, for people who have your mom/dad/grandparents/sister/brother to encourage you, to go with you to the clinic, to hold your hands b4 your surgery time and say that everything's gonna be ok; also to people who have your chest cut off, who are already on T and can see your bodies changing every single day, you should know that you are so lucky; you should know that somewhere in this planet, there are people like us, watching you in silence, wishing for all the best to you, and crying every single night, because they dream of being people like you

[PixieBoy]

Jake, this was a very touching post. I can't do anything more substantial (it's midnight here and I should get to bed or I'll fall asleep while at work), but I wish you the greatest of luck. You've been through terrible stuff and I wish I could take over at least half of the pain you carry. The future is not as dark as it might seem, or at least that's what I like to think.

[Jake Truong]

Dude.
Thanks for reading from the top to the bottom. Having u guys here who understand me whenever Im down, it's a great honor Always try for your life !

[Cindy]

Hi Jake,

The challenges we face can be crushing, the despair total, why, why why people regard us as some lower life form, when all we want to do is live; I do not understand.

But we have to keep moving. We have to take the world on. And we will cry and we will feel the loneliness that few others will.

But you do have your family here, both your brothers and your sisters, and we love you, we know what you are going through.

At any time pm me if you wish. I know you have guys here who love and support you as well.

Stand tall and be proud of yourself.

We are special people. Most people cannot move mountains. We have to, and we do.

Hugs

Cindy 

[MaxAloysius]

Cindy's right Jake, while your home family may not be supportive, we certainly are. You can come on here and talk to all of us when you're feeling down, and we'll do our very best to pick you back up and set you on your feet. We see the real you, and we believe in that man.

I know the world seems like it's a very dark place right now, but things will get better. It seems to me that while you're unlucky in a lot, you're also doing well with some things. It sounds like you have a wonderful, understanding partner, and you live in times where you can understand who and what you are, and do something about it. At least there's that to be grateful for.

You're a better man than all of those who oppose you, just remember that. Because through all of these trials you are still going, and I'm sure eventually you'll come out the other side of the tunnel into a whole new world of happiness. Don't give up.

[Jake Truong]

Guys, Cindy and Max,
Thanks for being beside me.The only encouragement we got is from each other. We don't have our parents to stand by our sides and understand for us. Today, when my girl came to my house (although she's always treated badly by my family,i told her to leave them out and just enjoy our time together), she saw some of her clothes were cut into pieces, which are used to clean to house floor and some kind of stuff just like the TV, closet or blah blah. She busted out into tears. I stood there,  I saw her tears and my heart was hurt as hell. Poor my girl, and I hate my family. When she's at my house, she says hello to 'em, but they never speak back, and they even keep silent to me, and all of her faces just tell us that they are freaking unhappy and annoyed, and , sorry, im ->-bleeped-<-ing tired and hate them, nobody in this family understand for us, they don't feel our pains.
Sometimes in life, I just wish God will feel our pain once, so God would help us out.
It's great to have many people here who are ready to share the feelings, to raise us up. I wish we live in the same country, so we could see each other and share things when we are down ... When im away from my country to start carrying out our dreams, what else will happen with my lil girl
By the way, i see many people viewed my post, and i got just 5 replies. I know perhaps it's kinda asking too much, but i think when we log in this site, it means we are the same, we all have our problems, and we all have our feelings and stories. Some of us are lucky, some are not, just like me, why dont you stop by and write my some words, we don't know what else to do, but log in this site and read this comments, like the way we find our path to be strong and survive. You support me, then I'll support you. That's the way people like us live now and 4ever, guys And please do the same, please read and comment for any posts you read out there

[Jake Truong]

Once again, Elias, Cindy, Max, thank you guys so much. You don't know how much your supportive words mean to us ! I love you guys !

[Cindy]

Hugs Jake,

Many people will be supporting you, but may not be able to put their thoughts into words. I do know how important just giving a family member a hug is. Sometimes others do not.
But keep strong, and give your girlfriend a big hug and a big kiss from Cindy.

Cindy

[Silas]

Really sorry to hear about your families. I have a small hope that one day they'll see some kind of light, but even if they don't, it doesn't really matter. Their loss.

You have each other, and have each other's love.
I wish you an insane amount of luck for the future.

Remember: Persevere! Stay strong and true.

Also, here are some flowers for you: 

[Jake Truong]

Really sorry to hear about your families. I have a small hope that one day they'll see some kind of light, but even if they don't, it doesn't really matter. Their loss.

You have each other, and have each other's love.
I wish you an insane amount of luck for the future.

Remember: Persevere! Stay strong and true.

Also, here are some flowers for you: 

They are lovely, your flowers, we have received them, and my girl said thank you so much for being so kind !


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