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Finally coming clean... still not sure what I am

Started by Totodile, July 12, 2011, 05:03:44 PM

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Totodile

Ok hi everyone, first of all let me just say that everyone on this forum is an inspiration and I applaud all of you for being brave enough to be yourself. Now anyway on to the reason I am making this thread. I am currently a XXXXXX year old male, and I'm not sure 'what' I am. Basically for the last 6/7 months I have been in denial(the worst time of my life, tried to commit suicide) and as of today I have decided that something is up and I'm going to stop fighting it, already I feel much better. The thing is though I'm not sure if I am a transgender or not. I do sometimes like to wear girls clothes, usually I steal my sisters thongs, but I do not really 'want' to be a girl. At least I don't think I do. For example I have a deep voice and I like it, I have a boys name and I don't want to change it. I suppose I'm not totally against transitioning to get the body, but the thing that really scares me is the voice, because it's been with me my whole life. Are these normal concerns? Also when I imagine having sex, usually I am the male in the situation, every now and again I might imagine being the female but usually I don't, that may have been because I was in denial though. So what do you think? Am I a transgender? Of course the only person who can really tell is me, but all this transgender stuff is foreign to me because up until today I was afraid of the word.
Thanks
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JungianZoe

Welcome, Totodile!  I hope you can find some answers to your questions here. :)

Also, I removed your age per site rules.
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Totodile

Thanks, can I say I am a highschool student instead?
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Padma

Hi, Totodile, and welcome to Susan's! We're a wacky and diverse and friendly bunch here (the head count is over 7600) - get into things as slowly or as quickly as you feel comfortable, I'm sure you'll find plenty of support here.

Take your time figuring out how you feel and who you feel you are, don't get too caught up in wanting a label to quickly, just be honest and kind with yourself and things will unfold. And yes, it's fine for you to say you're a high school student - just not your actual age, we seek only to protect you from dodgy online trolls, it's nothing personal :).

And be sure to check out these links for the bobby on the house rules:

Womandrogyne™
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Sage

Hi, Totodile.  I'm Sage.   :)  I agree with Padma, take your time figuring things out, and honesty is the best medicine for learning, for healing, and for understanding yourself.
"Be whoever you are, but be loud. Be completely fearless when you do it. That's the big thing. Just be a fearless person. A fearless artist, a fearless accountant. Whatever you want to be." - Gerard Way, My Chemical Romance

私は死にかむ。
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