Dear Quirky Queen, I am so sorry to hear your pain and your dilemma. You are a very supportive spouse and a brave person to have made such a difficult decision. Your spouse is indeed very lucky. The trick is to keep remembering that you made this choice: in the face of a dilemma, you chose the relationship since as you say you can always have another shot at a child. I mention this because the resentment you may feel at having been in the position of having to make the choice to begin with could poison your relationship. It's great you are in therapy. And you can have another shot a having a child, even on your own if it came to that, even if you adopt. And chances are if you're under 35 you could have your own without much trouble. So breathe deeply, take it one day at a time, and even though you may feel as if you are not getting to make any decisions, you are in fact: choosing to stay, choosing to postpone a key dream. Though it is hard, hard hard! You're not alone. best, H.
