My therapist experience...

[Jah]

I have been seeing my therapist for about a month now. My purpose was like I told her to get the letter I needed for top surgery and perhaps sort some things out on HRT.  I (like suggested by others) asked her before I even saw her if she had trans clients...she said "of course".  So despite my hesitation I continued to see her.  We talk a lot about relationships, past experiences , & for some reason or another sex...& very little about gender.  Now last time I checked gender & sex habits are not the same thing but can correlate depending on what's being asked.  I am just growing tired of the dysphoria, binding, and I am impatient to begin with.  I asked her how long does this take she says "it's a case by case" process. I understand that but maybe some experience would help..,,has it been 3 months, 3 weeks, 3 sessions for some ... (3 is my fav #..lol).  Also I got turned off that she has brought up money in 3 sessions already, mentioning how little my insurance pays her & if I can give her more than my designated co-payment  My MO is to get pissed and discontinue seeing a therapist but is it me or should I look into someone else? I just want someone who genuinely wants to help me & has my best interest at heart..not their pockets or their curiosity.

-Jah

[AbraCadabra]

Wow my good man, EXPECTATIONS are the first thing that need to get set, and get set right.

For some detail you may want to read the abbreviated WAPTH (Benjamin) rules?

see: http://www.debradavis.org/gecpage/benjamin.html

In short, yes we are always impatient to get things sorted.

Yet, how about 1 year minimum therapy and not 3 weeks or what ever you had in mind, eh?

How about 1 year REL dressed as a male and some such, living as one ONLY?

I know RLE be tricky, but you are familiar with "binding" I understand.
We MtFs have "tucking" also not just so much fun...

So PATIENCE be the name of the game. The last thing for you to find out your made a MISTAKE my good man. And then what?

Take your time and read that link and HAVE PATIENCE --- we all had to bring it into this situation.

Anyway that's my knowing,
Axelle

[Ann Onymous]

The SoC are NOT etched in stone.  Fortunately there are some treatment providers that recognize that fact...

The broader concern I see in this case is that there are requests for funds above and beyond the co-pay, which is something that I personally find distasteful, not to mention downright unethical.  When the provider agreed to take insurance, they knew what they would be getting paid and what the co-pay amount would be.  THAT would cause me to look elsewhere...

[Taka]

Also I got turned off that she has brought up money in 3 sessions already, mentioning how little my insurance pays her & if I can give her more than my designated co-payment 

this would make me leave her office forever after telling her exactly what i think about this kind of behavior (would not be anything pretty). if money is more important than the patient.. heh, worthless. let her toy with the rich, find someone whose greatest concern is your wellbeing. or maybe she's trying to suggest she'll only write those letters for the right price..?

[Jah]

Wow my good man, EXPECTATIONS are the first thing that need to get set, and get set right.

For some detail you may want to read the abbreviated WAPTH (Benjamin) rules?

see: http://www.debradavis.org/gecpage/benjamin.html

In short, yes we are always impatient to get things sorted.

Yet, how about 1 year minimum therapy and not 3 weeks or what ever you had in mind, eh?

How about 1 year REL dressed as a male and some such, living as one ONLY?

Thanks for the link, gave me an idea of things but as for the other stuff..are you serious about the 1year ? 
That hasn't been revised since 1998... so many differences now then years ago and the gender spectrum is so
broad, so many new studies.

The SoC are NOT etched in stone.  Fortunately there are some treatment providers that recognize that fact...

Thank the universe for this! 

I canceled my next appointment & got referrals for other LGBT friendly providers. My therapist called back & asked me not to cancel. I just said "seems like I can't afford you & I feel uncomfortable" she wants to talk it over a session. idk...

[RhinoP]

I do not believe the time-to-transition is set-in-stone for every case. A person who already naturally passes as their desired gender (there are many folks who are beautifully Androgynous) will probably not mind waiting a year to get surgery and hormones, if they even need them at all. However, someone who's just on the extreme side of their biological sex usually needs some type of physical reassurance and change before they can realistically and confidently start the process; especially in a conservative area where noticeable transgenders may be harassed. In some cases, a person may have to get all sorts of FFS changes and hormone changes before they can start the social process at all; many users on here very positively vouch for this method, including myself.

I also find that the process depends on how educated a person is. Obviously there are people who may know nothing about this process and may need an entire year to talk about the transition. However, there's plenty of professionals who have moderated and counseled identity peoples for years, such as myself, and know absolutely everything there is to know about the psychology behind the process. Quite literally, someone who has enough knowledge to be a qualified therapist (if you could simply take a qualification test instead of wasting money on college), they don't really need to spend much time with another professional; oftentimes these types of patients are even more up-to-date on modern studies than the professionals are themselves, which can created a very hassled process where the therapist wants to "get revenge" on the patient for the patient knowing more than they do.

So quite plainly, if you feel your transition is burning your time, and your therapist hasn't brought up any "real" reasons they think you should wait, then find a different therapist and ask for a refund from your current one (by all means, threaten with legal action if you feel your therapist isn't following professional and accepted guidelines, there's no excuse for a therapist to earn $1,000 off someone for emotionally abusing them. She is haggling you for money and may even be holding your letter as "ransom" for this money. Tell her that you'll have your lawyers look into the situation, even if you really don't plan to.)

[Randi]

Jah-the ball is in your court and you define where the ball will go next. Your therapist should not have asked you for more $$$/dinero/money when they have agreed to accept the amount your insurance offered in my opinion. The request of another meeting shows this person knows it was wrong. If you like them as a person go see them if he/she doesn't charge you for the time-that meeting should be all about you and what you want. If the money is all they are concerned with-you are better off going somewhere else unless they agree to write your letter then and there.

1 year is what HB SOC had defined as the correct potocol to be followed.

Randi

[Rosa]

Asking for more money than your insurance pays is a red flag for me.  I've never heard of that before - only the opposite where the doc gives clients without insurance a discount.

[Taka]

the soc are meant to be flexible, not rules set in stone. just look at what the 6th edition (2001, the one from 1998 is outdated) says about the "one year rule":

The SOC provide recommendations for eligibility requirements for hormones and surgery. Without first meeting these recommended eligibility requirements, the patient and the therapist should not request hormones or surgery. An example of an eligibility requirement is: a person must live full time in the preferred gender for twelve months prior to genital surgery. To meet this criterion, the professional needs to document that the real-life experience has occurred for this duration.

see, it only says it's an example of a recommended requirement to have one year of full-time experience. and nowhere does it say this has to be while under therapy. it even states that the 90 days of therapy before hrt may be shortened "for example, to facilitate the provision of monitored therapy using hormones of known quality, as an alternative to black-market or unsupervised hormone use".

most important thing is to have a therapist that you feel comfortable with

[Beni76]

most important thing is to have a therapist that you feel comfortable with

From experience, would have to agree. Would you rather write a few months off and start with a new therapist or keep on seeing one that you don't feel comfortable talking to for another 6 / 12 months, who in the end may not even give you a letter that you will like.

[Jah]

Wow....u all are definitely giving me something to think about.  I did let her talk me into not canceling my appointment with her saying can we talk about it in a session in person & now I feel like f@ck if I cancel it with less than 5 days I am going to get charged the co-pay . She says this is so I don't back out on going with all that's going on with me.  "Patience Jah"...I tell myself. I do feel comfortable with her I just don't like that she brought how "little" my insurance pays her about 3x's.  Let you know how it goes.

[RhinoP]

Also, about the SOC, it no-where defines anything about FFS, which is actually the most important change for most Transpeoples beyond hormones, and most FFS surgeons do not at all require letters from psychiatrists.

[Arch]

Also, about the SOC, it no-where defines anything about FFS, which is actually the most important change for most Transpeoples beyond hormones, and most FFS surgeons do not at all require letters from psychiatrists.

I don't think a guy will be much interested in FFS! 

[JungianZoe]

I don't think a guy will be much interested in FFS! 

I should not be laughing as hard as I am right now... thank you, Arch!

[Arch]

I should not be laughing as hard as I am right now... thank you, Arch!

I'm sure she was just pointing out the holes in the SOC, but I couldn't resist.

[Jah]

Thanx for all the feedback.  I am looking into different places like Callen Lorde but the wait for just a PCP appointment is over 30 days.  I feel so frustrated. I was late to my last two appointments due to procrastination which I tend to do when I don't want to do something.  I just think of starting ALL OVER with another therapist . I have seen my current one going on 3 months. I wish I knew how long it was for others.