Do you agree with my terminology?

[RhinoP]

How many people agree that a Transsexual/Transgender is someone who usually wants to pass as a normal woman (ex. a woman who has a husband, kids, house, and career, not the "gay pride parade" type), where a Drag Queen/Crossdresser is more the person who doesn't care about passing as a woman in terms of lifestyle or body/facial features, but just cares more about wearing the wigs, make-up, and clothes instead, and even "gets her kicks" by just belonging to gay clubs and intense-trans-culture events?

For instance, Transsexuals/Transgenders usually are the ones who beg for FFS, Sex-Reassignment, and Hormones, while Drag Queens/Crossdressers usually are the ones who care less and simply wear the clothes/make-up?

My therapist, and many users on here, don't really seem to know the difference from this (especially the very masculine looking Trans who are trying to "brainwash" themselves into thinking they can realistically pass while looking like Andre The Giant.) but it's a very detrimental mindset when it comes to supporting the members who do want surgery and hormones to improve and change their idenitity appearance. Simply "joining a drag bar" isn't a solution for all of us, some of us want to look like we were born normal women because we want to lead normal lives.

[Tamaki]

How many people agree that a Transsexual/Transgender is someone who usually wants to pass as a normal woman (ex. a woman who has a husband, kids, house, and career, not the "gay pride parade" type), where a Drag Queen/Crossdresser is more the person who doesn't care about passing as a woman in terms of lifestyle or body/facial features, but just cares more about wearing the wigs, make-up, and clothes instead, and even "gets her kicks" by just belonging to gay clubs and intense-trans-culture events?

For instance, Transsexuals/Transgenders usually are the ones who beg for FFS, Sex-Reassignment, and Hormones, while Drag Queens/Crossdressers usually are the ones who care less and simply wear the clothes/make-up?

I do not think it's fair to make such broad generalisations grouping all transgender/transsexuals into one group and crossdressers/drag queens into another. It reinforces untrue stereotypes and takes away from the amazing diversity of being human. The assumption that "normal" women want a husband, kids, house, etc is just as harmful. I know many cis-women that don't want those things and to assume that "real" transwomen want them isn't helpful.

My therapist, and many users on here, don't really seem to know the difference from this (especially the very masculine looking Trans who are trying to "brainwash" themselves into thinking they can realistically pass while looking like Andre The Giant.) but it's a very detrimental mindset when it comes to supporting the members who do want surgery and hormones to improve and change their idenitity appearance. Simply "joining a drag bar" isn't a solution for all of us, some of us want to look like we were born normal women because we want to lead normal lives.

I'm willing to bet that if you met me, you'd think I was one of those Andre the Giant types. Six foot tall, 245 lbs, broad shoulders. I'm not "brainwashing" myself into anything. In my brain, heart and soul I am a woman and always have been. I didn't make out well on the feminine appearance. I am on hormones and I've already had some surgery. More than anything I just want to be who I am and live my life.  I have been supported here and support others. Placing us into categories and judging who is most deserving of what does nothing but harm those who need help.

I believe that a mindset of embracing the diversity of humanity, understanding that we are all people and supporting each other in our times of need is the most helpful approach.

[Padma]

I don't agree with your terminology, but chiefly because it seems to be based on an assumption that a 'normal woman' is heterosexual, for a start (yes, I know that was just an 'example', but it's a telling one). There are billions of different kinds of woman to be - with different possible lifestyles, sexual orientations, ways of wanting to look, etc. etc. I think your conception of what makes a 'normal woman' is rather narrow and heteronormative, and unrealistic when one looks at the world of women in general, never mind trans women.

But I'm interested to understand better in what way you find other people's choices (that are different from yours) unsupportive?

[Muffins]

in short: nope.

[Da Monkey]

Some ciswomen look like Andre the Giant. 

Hahah.

In all seriousness I agree with Padma.

[bojangles]

another vote no.

I sure as heck don't want to pass as a normal woman. 

Also, just because someone has never heard of a drag queen being referred to as "->-bleeped-<-" does not mean they don't know the difference between a drag queen (or king) and a transsexual. We don't all live in the same house.

[Stephe]

My therapist, and many users on here, don't really seem to know the difference from this (especially the very masculine looking Trans who are trying to "brainwash" themselves into thinking they can realistically pass while looking like Andre The Giant.) but it's a very detrimental mindset when it comes to supporting the members who do want surgery and hormones to improve and change their idenitity appearance. Simply "joining a drag bar" isn't a solution for all of us, some of us want to look like we were born normal women because we want to lead normal lives.

Basically what you are saying is: Unless someone needs to hide from everyone that they are/were transgendered and become a stealth TS (like it sounds like is your goal), they are not and can not live a "normal" life and are detrimental to people here? Good luck chasing the endless surgeries etc trying to erase any evidence of ever being male. You weren't -too- insulting until the Andre the Giant comment.

Like Hannah_Irene, I probably don't fit your ideal "passing as a natal female"  person but I do live my life as a woman and 99.99% of the time, people treat me as such. I have done what I can to improve my appearance but don't obsess on passing. I am VERY happy now and live a "normal" life. I go to work, church, belong to civic associations etc. I don't live in some trans friendly complex, attend trans meetings and or go to drag bars etc. None of my friends are trans but I know a few TS's at church who seem nice enough. I don't focus on being trans anymore but I'm not ashamed of it either. Do people who call me "ma'am" clock me? I have no idea and honestly don't care as long as I am respected and treated like a woman.

So are you really saying that if someone is 6'4" and broad shoulders they shouldn't ask for support here and only dainty framed males who would likely be able to be surgically changed to stealth mode should be posting here? I REALLY get sick of the people preaching: Pretty & Stealth TS > any other form of being trans. And then you complaining we are "detrimental" to you and YOUR perceived needs.

I feel people who promote being stealth and passing as the only option to "lead a normal life" are more detrimental to most of the people who come here looking for help than what you are complaining about.

[Zelane]

No, I dont agree.

Mostly because its too narrow.

[Darrin Scott]

Too many labels for me.

[VeryGnawty]

"Normal" is a setting on my dishwasher.

I just want to be me.  Nothing more, nothing less.

[kate durcal]

NO

[Pinkfluff]

How many people agree that a Transsexual/Transgender is someone who usually wants to pass as a normal woman (ex. a woman who has a husband, kids, house, and career, not the "gay pride parade" type), where a Drag Queen/Crossdresser is more the person who doesn't care about passing as a woman in terms of lifestyle or body/facial features, but just cares more about wearing the wigs, make-up, and clothes instead, and even "gets her kicks" by just belonging to gay clubs and intense-trans-culture events?

Assuming that you use the word "normal" in the statistical sense, I would agree somewhat, with the following changes to the above:

I don't agree with the term "pass". People either get it right or wrong. I don't try to pass as something I'm not.

Not all of us are straight ("a woman who has a husband"), but being a lesbian doesn't mean I don't want a normal life. I don't know if I'd want kids, but I wish I had the choice. Actually some may be perfectly normal without being in any committed relationship too.

There is also only so much stressing over appearance that a person can do. We aren't all going to be supermodels. I don't believe that not buying into the cultural obsession with appearance means that someone doesn't want a normal life. This also begins to point to the serious flaws in just what is normal in present society, but that was not the subject of this thread.

Also keep in mind that "normal" has a different meaning when applied to an individual than when applied to a large group. "Normal" for one person I would define to be what feels comfortable and familiar to said person. If that does not fit the higher level statistical norm, it does not necessarily mean that the individual in question is not normal.

I just want to be me.  Nothing more, nothing less.

This is what I mean by normal for one person. Attempting to be something other than who a person naturally is (person, not body) would be abnormal.

[kim_k]

Add another "no" to the list, since I also disagree.

I don't have a problem with labels per se. I think that words like "transgender" and "cisgender" (or, for that matter, "gay" and "straight") can be helpful shortcuts in our language to get ideas across somewhat quickly without having to go into huge, long explanations about gender expression and sexual orientation every time you talk to someone about these issues or your personal feelings.

However, when dealing with things that are as complex as sexual orientation, gender identity, and how we express them, these tidy little labels are still lacking in something. As a transgender person (MtF) who has feelings mostly for men, you could call me a heterosexual trans woman. I, however, reject the label "heterosexual" simply because, for my entire life so far, I have been seen and treated as a homosexual male. And this is so entrenched in my personal politics and private history that I think I will always have more solidarity with gay men than I do straight women. Does this make me a "bad" MtF? I don't think so. A lot of us aspire to make our gender presentations and our bodies match the way we feel inside, but that doesn't mean we erase our past and how it shaped us.

Call me a femme fairy boy. Call me a Halloween ->-bleeped-<-. I don't care. I know that I am ME, and that my path is justifiably right.

[Miniar]

And another No here.

And redefining terms to suit your point or beliefs or needs does not make your self-created definition any more accurate than the already defined meaning of the term.

This applies to any term you feel you can define "Better" than it's already defined as.

(I've repeating this three times today!)

You know what else you've missed in your post?
TRANS MEN!
That's right, transsexuals who were assigned female at birth, but are MEN!
I'm a trans man in a polyamorous relationship with my genderfluid husband. I'm also a mother to my daughter and an artist and a student and a politically minded individual. I'm a million tiny little things.

Suggesting that the "definition" of transsexual is a woman is blatantly dismissive of my very existence, let alone this nonsensical idea of a "normal" woman.

All women are "normal" women.
My mother who runs her company with her husband, flies planes, rides motorcycles, and dresses more smart than most younger women I've ever seen is a "normal" woman.
My husband's girlfriend who wears a mish-mash of hippy and grungy styles of clothing, walks everywhere, and likes to play first person shooters is a "normal" woman.
My lesbian friend who wears high heels and work clothes and loves bacon and wrestling and watching cheesy horror movies is a "normal" woman.
My trans woman friend who likes to go barefoot in brightly coloured clothes and wants to learn to be a veterinarian is a "normal" woman.

The suggestion of otherwise is very very rude!

[tekla]

while Drag Queens/Crossdressers usually are the ones who care less

How can I tell you've never known a drag queen and don't understand the first thing about it?

[LordKAT]

Nope!

[Ann Onymous]

Who knew that as a former transsexual who happens to be lesbian that, because I frequent the lesbian bars, I really wasn't a transsexual after all...after all of these years (none of which included ANY measure of FFS) that I learn I was something else. 

And yeah, that was sarcasm used to point out that, NO, I do not agree with OP's attempts at terminology...I also concur with tekla's observation.

[ninjaboi]

You know what else you've missed in your post?
TRANS MEN!
That's right, transsexuals who were assigned female at birth, but are MEN!

Thank you, thought i was the only one who noticed!!

Ans its a big NO from me too. Padma summed it up for me.

[JulieC.]

I'm another NO.  I think everyone has already covered all the reasons why.   

[Caitlints]

I have to agree, that makes me just want to scream NO.