Judging reactions

[Plain Jane]

I wasn't sure what to call this topic, so here is what I am thinking. Just rambling on a bit, sorry. I have recently gone back to wearing skirts from time to time after many years of not doing that (why is a different topic). And I am finally finding makeup that doesn't bother my skin, so I have also started wearing makeup again after about 10 years of not doing so.

But the thing is, I feel like I am transitioning again......

Are you familiar with the situation where people looking at you makes you unsure of yourself? That you are wondering whether someone is thinking "who's that weirdo?". Or on the other hand, if it is a woman that she might notice the fashion faux pas you made and is thinking "Why is she wearing those shoes with that skirt?". If it is a man he might be thinking something along the lines of "She looks nice" (or whatever...).

If there are men and women together and only (some of) the men are staring and the women don't give you a second look, that is probably a good sign 

Like this afternoon in the elevator of the building. Two young men, two young women. The women were chatting and completely ignoring me. One guy was just riding the elevator and keeping to himself. One guy kept looking at me. Am I being to analytical trying to analyze the situation?

And young children especially. Children seem to be much more intuitive about these things, and less socialized. So if you have a child staring at you, maybe not good news?

In my experience people are too polite to actually say or do anything, so there is little actual "danger", but it takes some time to build up the confidence.

I would appreciate your thoughts.

[Bird]

The one time I had a young boy staring at me, he went...

"Why is she wearing boy clothes?"

I went full time after that one.

[justmeinoz]

If I have noticed women looking in my direction I start to wonder what fashion error I have made too.

Karen.

[Gravity Girl]

number 1: People stare at other people for a whole host of reason, 99.99999999999999% have nothing to do with identifying you as someone with a transexual history
Number 2: Children are curious...they stare at everything and everyone. This also ties into point 1.
Number 3: Fashion is merely the ability to carry off a look with confidence...most fashion faux pas occur when people wear stuff because it's fashionable, not because they like it.
Number 4: Trying to guess what other people are thinking will drive you nuts, so it's best not to do it.

[Pinkfluff]

The one time I had a young boy staring at me, he went...

"Why is she wearing boy clothes?"

I went full time after that one.

I have found that children can often be more perceptive than adults, probably because they haven't yet been taught not to be. I remember once years ago in like Walmart or something some woman said to her kid something to the effect of "come on, stay out of this man's way" and the kid said "mommy that's a girl!".

And yeah most people that look at you are probably just doing so because you're there. They don't really care who you are and only care what you're doing if it might affect them. Most people have plenty of other things to think about besides trying to figure out the medical history of someone they don't even know.

[Joeyboo~ :3]

Are you familiar with the situation where people looking at you makes you unsure of yourself?

Completely.
It's all just anxiety, but you have to learn how to get over what people think of you.
It can be frustrating and difficult.
I would know :/

I transition somewhat in school, so I'm used to reactions.
Teenagers are the worst subjects.
I never wanted to come off as female I was just the "boy who wore makeup"
I think doing that all school year got me used to transitioning.

[Constance]

Are you familiar with the situation where people looking at you makes you unsure of yourself?

Oh, yes.

A while back while clothes shopping, a boy looked at me then asked his mother a question. She looked at me, smiled and said, "She's a woman." She smiled at me again.

But usually, it doesn't go this well.

A few weeks ago at a grocery store, a woman looked at me, turned to the girl next to her saying something, and both of them looked at me. Neither were smiling. Getting on the bus this past Sunday, the driver was staring at me with what looked like (to me) a look of disapproval. After I took my seat, I looked up into the mirror and he was still staring at me.

These days, after events like these most recent two, I'm tempted to hunch my shoulders forward and shrink. But then I mentally tell myself, "Head high. Back straight. Boobs forward. Sway hips."

[Stephe]

Am I being to analytical trying to analyze the situation?

Yes you are.

What can happen is you start looking around to see who is looking at you, someone looks over and thinks "Why is this woman acting so paranoid?" And they stare at you. You see them staring at you and get even more apprehensive. Then other people start to notice you are nervous and wonder why. You think it's because you have been clocked, they just see a woman acting strange. It is all because you are acting oddly, not because of how you look. You walk away feeling unsure of yourself, those people are left wondering why you were acting so weird.

Women check out other women, Guys check out women. Children stare at people for no reason because they don't know it's rude to. If I do notice someone staring at me, I just throw them a quick smile and they almost always smile back then I look away. I know I am a very unique looking person, honestly people probably clock me more than I realize but I can't worry about that. It might be partially because there aren't many 5' 11" in sock feet women. I can't change that. But I KNOW I am a woman and am confidant in that.

I try to look as attractive as I can and just go about my business. "normal" people don't walk around looking to see if people are checking them out and wondering what they are thinking, we shouldn't either. Trying to do this will just drive you crazy and make you stand out as acting strange. The WORST thing you can do is be unsure of yourself.

[Mahsa Tezani]

number 1: People stare at other people for a whole host of reason, 99.99999999999999% have nothing to do with identifying you as someone with a transexual history

People generally analyze each other in public. I had a young guy keep staring and smiling at me in walgreens. He must have been 19... Discovering new feelings and new likes.

Had I not seen that "look" before I would have assumed "he's clocking me!". But talking to several men, I've learned what the looks are. Of course, every person is different.

[Annah]

my rule of thumb: don't try to analyze what they are thinking.

You are not Counselor Deanna Troi (if you don't know her..google her).

You will go insane if you assume every stare or smile or weird look is because you're not passing.

[Annah]

i use this as an example:

I work at JC Penneys in the Juniors (girls age 15-25) and young men's department (boys age 15-25) and yesterday I saw two girls about 16 years old wearing leggings and a black top that only went down to their waist.

As I staring at them, I was thinking "oh wow....you think everyone would figure out by now that you dont wear anything that hugs the legs AND hugs the chest. It's just not that attractive..l don't care how fit you are."

Then my co worker who is 20 years old was like "yeah, you know? Wearing leggins and a shirt like that? You minus wear throw on some tights and not wear a skirt. Seriously, people, don't show your goods to us!" Then she started to laugh.

I never made any comment about the two girls when I was looking at them; but my facial expressions told my co worker everything I was thinking. She read me like a book and she got what I was thinking right.

If those two girls were transgender and if they saw me and then my co worker, I am sure they would have thought "oh my gawd they clocked us!!!"

However, it was the last thing on my mind when it came to clocking anyone. I was just in awe how someone could mess up a simple modern fashion rule when it came to leggings.

So, it can be many reasons why someone looks at a transgender girl. From many of the transgender girls I have seen or met, I noticed that some of them do not have "the fashion graces" for whatever reason (they are new at dressing, they haven't quite gotten their age and their fashion sense to match, or whatever) so when people stare at them the transgender girls who are thinking "i got clocked" may have never gotten clocked at all; only their fashion sense got clocked. For example, if you walk around in 5 inch stiletto heels at McDonalds, you are gonna get stared at no matter if you are trans or cis.

Or it can be other reasons why someone stares at you. However, if you always think about them clocking you, then you're going to have a major stressful life!

[Annah]

number 1: People stare at other people for a whole host of reason, 99.99999999999999% have nothing to do with identifying you as someone with a transexual history
Number 2: Children are curious...they stare at everything and everyone. This also ties into point 1.

Very true. I had two little girls whispering about me and the mom caught them and said "you know doing that isn't very nice....we talked about this before."

The one girl said "Im sorry mommy, but I love her hair bow. It's pretty."

So I can def see how one may think that if the child is whispering away to another about you it could look bad but more chances than not, they are doing and saying something that you wouldn't expect...and its not always negative!

[wendy]

Yes you are.

What can happen is you start looking around to see who is looking at you, someone looks over and thinks "Why is this woman acting so paranoid?" And they stare at you. You see them staring at you and get even more apprehensive. Then other people start to notice you are nervous and wonder why. You think it's because you have been clocked, they just see a woman acting strange. It is all because you are acting oddly, not because of how you look. You walk away feeling unsure of yourself, those people are left wondering why you were acting so weird.

How true!  I wrote post earlier about seeing a MTF that passed but she kept looking around.  That is how I feel since I am very self conscious.  I started watching other people to see if they noticed this lady and if they did they most certainly did not care.  People may notice but most just don't care. 

.....................

Asked a friend to go to donut shop with me this past weekend.  It was really nice.  People came in and did not even look at us.  No one cared.  She is very comfortable with herself and it relaxed me.  In fact I was almost disappointed that no one even looked.  Paranoid if they look and disappointed if they do not look.  I am such a mess.

[Bird]

To me, it seens women are checked out more often than guys do. So this could add to the issue!

[eli77]

Just assume they are looking at you cause you are so damn sexy.

[Bird]

Ya! It is what I do

[Stephe]

To me, it seens women are checked out more often than guys do. So this could add to the issue!

VERY much so. Unless you are a smoking hot guy, most people never give you a second glance. Women are checked out by EVERY guy and most other women. It just is..

[Mahsa Tezani]

VERY much so. Unless you are a smoking hot guy, most people never give you a second glance. Women are checked out by EVERY guy and most other women. It just is..

I analyze every guy. Almost every guy I walk by acknowledges me, says hi, smiles, does that eyebrow thing, and waves at me. Of course I make eye contact with everyone I see.

I am not even that hot.... So yeah, reminds me of that Jamie Clayton vid where she was getting so much attention. But I'm from Hayward, Ca where people are rude if they suspect you're different.

[Stephe]

I analyze every guy. Almost every guy I walk by acknowledges me, says hi, smiles, does that eyebrow thing, and waves at me. Of course I make eye contact with everyone I see.

I rarely give eye contact to guys and don't smile etc. Maybe it's different where you live but here some guys take eye contact and a smile as "I want to hook up with you". Not the message I want to give, I'm taken

When I was living as a guy, I noticed most women would never make eye contact etc to me either. But now that I'm living as a woman almost every woman makes eye contact and smiles or says hi and I do the same.

[Mahsa Tezani]

I rarely give eye contact to guys and don't smile etc. Maybe it's different where you live but here some guys take eye contact and a smile as "I want to hook up with you". Not the message I want to give, I'm taken

Well yeah, but its kinda cool seeing that they are reacting to me in a positive way like that instead of clocking me. It gets even worse when I wear short shorts... I am only 5'5", 135 with big blue eyes.