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How do you wish to be seen?

Started by Sevan, July 18, 2011, 12:00:21 AM

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0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Sevan

We talk alot about how we feel, and that's important but... How do you wish you were viewed? Male? Female? Androgyn? Other entirely? Just curious.
I know how I am seen...fem. Butch fem sometimes...but decidedly fem. I wish more folks knew about androgyns and saw me as such...but that's yet to be the case. Or..male one day and female the next. That'd work for me too. There's balance in that.
How 'bout you?
I'm also the spouse to the fabulous Mrs. Cynthialee.


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Pica Pica

I'd like to be seen as cute - I have a quote which sums up what qualities cute has that I aspire to,

"Cuteness is distinct from beauty, researchers say, emphasising rounded over sculptured, soft over refined, clumsy over quick. Beauty attracts admiration and demands a pedestal; cuteness attracts affection and demands a lap. Beauty is rare and brutal, despoiled by a single pimple. Cuteness is commonplace and generous, content on occasion to cosegregate with homeliness."

  - Can't attribute it I'm afraid.

Now, cuteness is generally seem as a feminine trait and when I am in an envying mood I envy women their bodies much more than men, but it's their cuteness I envy, not their femaleness.
'For the circle may be squared with rising and swelling.' Kit Smart
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Robyn

I just want to be seen and heard as what I am, an older woman.

My husband (FTM) says he was going for studly but has to be satified with 'cute old curmudgeon'.

Robyn
When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly. — Patrick Overton
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Shana A

I would love to actually be recognized as what I am, non binary gender, but society seems to be stuck in two. A second best would be to be seen as a woman...

Z
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." Oscar Wilde


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Silas

A lot of times, I want to be seen either as cute or as an androgynous/feminine guy. I love it when people can't tell my sex, and when they do finally go one way or the other, I prefer they see me as male. It bothers me a lot to be seen as female -- physically painful at times. Androgyny is fantastic and male is perfect.

Sometimes it depends on my company. I'm mostly friends with feminine people. With girls, I get annoyed when they see me as a girl, but I don't mind being seen as feminine. Although I'm starting to dislike being out as gay, because so few understand panromanticism and therefore don't view me as a potential date. With guys, I don't like being seen as female, and I get uncomfortable being feminine. It seems like femininity makes it harder for them to see you as male. But, I prefer the company of feminine individuals. It feels more freeing at times -- although a healthy dose of masculinity never hurt.
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ZaidaZadkiel

I don't particularly care how I am seen.
Usually, I have to depend on people telling me whether I'm a boy or a girl this day.
Some days I wear makeup and lipstick and I dress extremely fem, and I still get called a guy.
And then I go out with no attempt at beautify, And then I get called a girl.

Some days I go out all though, hardcore rocker style, and people call me "lady"
Some days I dress so gay, tight pants and spagethi tops, and people call me "bro".

Some other times, though, it does fit. I'm lovin' it.
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Shana A

Quote from: ZaidaZadkiel on July 18, 2011, 08:05:12 AM
I don't particularly care how I am seen.
Usually, I have to depend on people telling me whether I'm a boy or a girl this day.
Some days I wear makeup and lipstick and I dress extremely fem, and I still get called a guy.

Based on your profile pic, I just don't get how someone could see you as a boy!

Z
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." Oscar Wilde


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ZaidaZadkiel

Quote from: Zythyra on July 18, 2011, 09:55:07 AM
Based on your profile pic, I just don't get how someone could see you as a boy!

Z
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/Zadkiel/2011-05-11-193358.jpg
It takes more effort to appear in a certain way, than it is to appear as natural.
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Pharaun

I love that quote Pica Pica, and cute is certainly something I like to be considered as. I also understand the envying of general female cuteness.
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Taka

people who are older than me call me cute. people around my age often seem unable to find suiting words to describe me as my personality is much less girly than my feminine body might suggest, but some say i'm nice. and those who know me are the only ones who seem to have realized i'm actually a closet sadist, they wouldn't ever call me cute

and how do i want to be seen? awesome would be best, but i don't think i can live up to that. anything would be good really, as long as i'm not seen as a female = sexual object / natural bottom. actually i wouldn't like to be seen as any specific gender role, don't know what that leaves me with
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Alex02

I wish I could be seen as dual regarding gender - but people insist on seeing me as either a wall-flower (all relatives except my parents and sister which I came out to) or as a plain lesbian (colleagues).

Now, I finally want to adopt a masculine role, either as butch-lesbian or as a gay boy (as I'm into both  ;D) - so I'm going to dress and act manly and let society guess which one they see every new day, hehe.

Greets,
Alex
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annette

Hi Zaida

quote:I don't particularly care how I am seen.
Usually, I have to depend on people telling me whether I'm a boy or a girl this day.
Some days I wear makeup and lipstick and I dress extremely fem, and I still get called a guy.

Now that I have seen the other pic, just like Zythyra I don't understand how can anybody see you as a boy, I just don't get it, your face is so feminine.
I hope I'm not offending you but I can only see you as a girl and a pretty one too.

hugs
Annette
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ZaidaZadkiel

Quote from: annette on July 18, 2011, 06:05:38 PM
Hi Zaida

Now that I have seen the other pic, just like Zythyra I don't understand how can anybody see you as a boy, I just don't get it, your face is so feminine.
I hope I'm not offending you but I can only see you as a girl and a pretty one too.

hugs
Annette
Your quoting is strange.
And you can't see me as a girl because a) you don't have much familiarity with the genetic variations of the local area (i.e. méxico) b) you are projecting a wish upon me, c) it's a hand-picked picture which I supose shows the most fem side I could get, as I usually delete the pictures which scream "boy". d) pixels. e) I happen to have an outie, and people sometimes can tell, regardless my half-arsed efforts. f) My attitude changes a lot depending upon the day of the month, so I sometimes may look "fem" but act like the manliest man. Perks of androgyny.

I hope that helps you understanding.
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ZaidaZadkiel

Quote from: i on July 19, 2011, 12:51:02 AM
How do I wish to be seen? Very little if at all anymore. There are to many people hiding behind facades just to ->-bleeped-<- with peoples heads.
I won't play that game, I'm grown up. I'm not a childish 20something. Want my advice? To fricken bad.
Opinion with something to back it up with? To fricken bad.
You know who you are, and so do I.
Later, if at all
Ativan
if someone is bothering you, you should report it to the mods, and ignore that person, instead of get all passive-agressive.
Just sayin'
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Sage

*tiptoes around previous subject*  Okay then...

I'm most often seen as a girl, which, when I'm actually trying to be a girl, is fine.

But if I'm trying to look/act masculine and I'm seen as a girl, it bothers me.  Hopefully the more I work on my voice, and my self-confidence with my mannerisms, the less that will happen.

I like being seen as 'a slightly effeminate male.'  That's just my style.  And I seem to be getting pretty good at it, and I'm getting to that place where I pass much easier.

And I love it when people can't tell.  Not because of the whole, "I'm messing with their heads," thing, I just...sometimes like being seen as 'neutral' on the gender spectrum. 

And if I'm going for 'neutral,' then I don't mind being called either boy or girl, I'll answer to both.  And it feels like if people just can't tell, then I don't have to worry about passing so much.  I can do whatever mannerisms I feel like at that moment, and it works out. 

I can also switch back and forth between roles easier that way, because my clothes aren't the gender, I am.  The clothes are just a tool in helping me express that gender.
"Be whoever you are, but be loud. Be completely fearless when you do it. That's the big thing. Just be a fearless person. A fearless artist, a fearless accountant. Whatever you want to be." - Gerard Way, My Chemical Romance

私は死にかむ。
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Sage

Quote from: Taka on July 18, 2011, 01:25:46 PM
and those who know me are the only ones who seem to have realized i'm actually a closet sadist, they wouldn't ever call me cute.
I happen to think sadists are adorable.   :P  I think when I'm dominating, I pull off 'the cute sadist' concept well.  And my fiance doesn't complain either, when I give him permission to talk.   >:-)

Quote from: Taka on July 18, 2011, 01:25:46 PM
and how do i want to be seen? awesome would be best, but i don't think i can live up to that. anything would be good really, as long as i'm not seen as a female = sexual object / natural bottom. actually i wouldn't like to be seen as any specific gender role, don't know what that leaves me with
I see you as awesome, if that's any consolation.   :) I can relate to not wanting to be objectified either.  But I've had people objectify me when I'm crossdressing and being 'male' too, so I don't think there's much avoiding it.   :-\

And based on what you've said here, I'd personally see you as 3rd gender, but that's just me.
"Be whoever you are, but be loud. Be completely fearless when you do it. That's the big thing. Just be a fearless person. A fearless artist, a fearless accountant. Whatever you want to be." - Gerard Way, My Chemical Romance

私は死にかむ。
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Bombi

I prefer to be seen as ambiguous. an amalgamation of genders. Cute would be nice too.
Yes there is really bigender people
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Kinkly

I am me and wish to be seen as such I'm happy with anything except "Normal Male"
most People don't realise that not everyone is Male or Female so I get seen as "What the F***", "man in a dress".  I Like being seen as "WtF"
Most people say nothing so I guess I'm just accepted although I don't know how they see me.
I present as Me with a full beard, breasts, female clothes  pink and purple socks (one of each) and pretty sandal shoes sometimes with lipstick ,eye shadow and/or nail polish.
I sometimes get asked about the odd socks and I reply "I wouldn't want anyone to think I was normal" which generally gets a laugh as that Is the least of what makes me look different.  but it is something people can ask about without  them thinking they might be offensive.
When In "queer safe places" I sometimes get she/her from people who don't know me and that is better then he.
I don't want to be a man there from Mars
I'd Like to be a woman Venus looks beautiful
I'm enjoying living on Pluto, but it is a bit lonely
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Taka

Quote from: Sage on July 19, 2011, 12:34:42 PM
And if I'm going for 'neutral,' then I don't mind being called either boy or girl, I'll answer to both.  And it feels like if people just can't tell, then I don't have to worry about passing so much.  I can do whatever mannerisms I feel like at that moment, and it works out.
that would pretty much be the ideal situation for me, if my gender is underspecified that means it can change shape according to context
Quote from: Sage on July 19, 2011, 12:43:26 PM
I happen to think sadists are adorable.   :P  I think when I'm dominating, I pull off 'the cute sadist' concept well.  And my fiance doesn't complain either, when I give him permission to talk.   >:-)
aww, that really is adorable. sadists can be deadly cute, as long as they just realize i'm badder. now i really want my own fiance, sadly the last person i fell in love with wasn't interested in romance *sigh* heart-break without even going out with the person

and yay! +1 person who thinks i'm awesome, now i just need to go out there and get some more..
but that 3rd gender thing, don't you think i could change it to 0th or 666th or something? "3rd" sounds so inferior to the binaries

actually, how do you even define 3rd gender..?
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ativan

#19
Gender has no meaning or value if it is counterfeit.
Counterfeit gender is just a game, a trick, an amusement,
an act, a fraud, a deception, an imitation, artificial, bogus.

Be yourself, not a gender.
Being yourself is effortless and genuine.
Being yourself is REAL, not counterfeit.
In being yourself, in behaving in a manner which is natural to you,
whatever gender you are becomes self-evident.

-Emerald
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